Is This What Mid Life Crisis Looks Like?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by blindpup10, Nov 5, 2020.

  1. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sooo... I am very bothered the last few days
    Everything is going ok and things are not extremely great. But things are ok.

    But I don't feel good. I feel like I have not achieved anything in life.
    In a few years, I will be 40.
    I have an ok job, good family life, trusting friends, and I just feel I haven't achieved anything.

    I feel stuck that I am not able to get to the next level in my job prospective, let me not start with immigration, I feel I am getting older and I question myself ( will I be hired even if I pass the certifications)

    I have fallen into the habit of getting comfortable with my routine-- wake up, work, cook, tv, sleep. Help my kid on weekends. Spend some time on hobbies and work out.
    I just don't know if this all there is to life? I am not down per say.. but what Am I missing? How can I feel accomplished and content?

    Am I not counting my blessings and just whining about life? Should I just accept being ok?

    Is this what's called a mid-life crisis?
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2020
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  2. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes
    This questioning is mid life crisis.
    But also, it is time to reflect. First of all- u are doing great!
    You can wait a little till children are older- to add major changes to life. if life is in rut means- the rut is working for the wagon wheels!
    Volunteer, it might help inshort term
     
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  3. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Everything going okay is a good thing!

    If you feel that you haven't achieved what you wanted to, maybe start looking at what you have. List all your accomplishments. Writing down is a great reminder of our successes and challenges.

    Once you know how far you have come, start jotting down what you want to do. What is something you have been dreaming of and then go for it, a step at a time? Everyone goes through the thoughts like- will I even be hired? The difference between people who do get hired and those who don't usually lie in the mindset. People with a growth mindset will go ahead and take that certification and then start applying- it might work, it might not.

    Don't beat yourself for having a good routine, especially this year! Start doing one extra thing that you want to do and then write it down in a journal. The next day, take another small challenge and accomplish it and make a journal entry. Soon, you will be adding new things to your routine. Hopefully, this will help you feel accomplished and content!

    I don't know what a midlife crisis is. The 4th decade has been wonderful so far!
     
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    It is not exactly a mid-life crisis. More a state of discontent with the chugging along life. This state tends to arise for the first time around the early mid-point of life -- when basic goals such as education, job, marriage/partner, kids (if desired), house (if desired), few vacations.. are taken care of.

    This discontent rears its head now and then for the rest of life. It usually prods us to spend more time and effort on one of these areas:
    - improve the spouse
    - improve the marriage
    - improve oneself in personality
    - improve oneself in looks
    - improve spouse's exercise routine
    - improve one's education
    - improve job/career prospects
    - improve financial status
    - improve one's parenting
    - improve spouse's parenting
    - improve how the house looks
    - improve kid's grades or extracurriculars
    - improve how kid speaks mother-tongue
    - improve or manage relationship with in-laws or parents/siblings
    - volunteer in the community

    Experience has taught me that the best ways to spend that "discontentment generated" energy is to direct it to volunteering or improving one's education or job/career prospects.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2020
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Quotable. :grinning:

    There are times in life to love thy rut. :grinning:
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I guess this phase happens when ladies realise they have aged..they don’t have the idealism , hopes, aspirations , looks, energy etc they had their twenties..
    Experiencing the ups and downs of professional and personal life really takes a toll on anyone..
    It’s indeed a tricky time when you’re approaching middle age, not so young and not old either..
    I’m not forty years old but can totally empathise..
    Everytime I m feeling low and go trough a difficult phase of life I get many such insecurities, it may not be just about age or mid life ...
     
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  7. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for showing me the things that I can focus on. There is always things to get better at.
     
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