Is this right to stop the second issue?

Hi Vani,


:welcome to IL . I can understand your situation. It's not right for any husband to think like that . You , your kid and your interests should come first for him . That's his duty first . There's nothing wrong in helping others which he can do even when he's with his family . It's not correct to quit his job for that sake. This is not the age to do it. There're so many things in life. He has his responsibility to your son and to u . Your son would've just started schooling if I'm right . You've to give him good education . And there's so much to it. And how much can u save for ur life in 2- 3 yrs ? Sit alone with him and try to explain your concern and tell him that you're with him for helping others . But let it be at a later stage when u retire after ur son has settled. Try to bring him out of his idea, then plan for the second baby. Otherwise what's the point in going for the second baby . This is my opinion . I don't know if I'm correct . Explain to him that you and ur son are dependent on him and he's supposed to take care of u both first . Be bold and pray to God to change his mind . I'm sure he'll change his mind . Take care and all the best to you .

Mallika

 

well, I understand your predicament and frustration. But I know a person who has been very commited to his goal of helping people. In his pursuit this man didnot consider the needs of his wife and children and let go of an astounding career as a scientist. Anyways long story short- I think your husband is showing some forsight in realising that another child will only mess up his ambitions. I say "some" forsight because truly if he had "enough" forsight he would never have got married and had a family that way he would not have sacrificed the ambitions of his family at the altar of his ambitions. I think gandhians should all stay single. :coffee
It would be wise for you to pay heed to his need. You may get a second child if you are perssitent, but if he is truly a commited guy when the time comes he will leave your family needs aside and try to achieve only his ambition. This has been my experience. I would seriously ask you to think - will you with "your" job or other familial help be able to raise and provide everything for your 2 children if you do have a 2nd one.
~ Naazneen

 

This question can come up in any family. maybe your husband might not quit his job after 3 yrs who can say what will happen in 3 yrs or even tomorrow
But in my experience doing anything should be done jointly to succeed. Having a second child should be a joint decision in order for it to be successful. otherwise you will get the second child but you might drift apart and children will live in split family home. just my 2 cents.

 

hmm..
do you really know if he will be able to save for all three of you and quit after 3 years.. personally, that would be more worth thinking about than 2nd baby in your situation..sure.. you want another baby and he does not want another coz he wants to get into social cause.. first and foremost thing for you to think is how secure is your future with your husband quitting job after 3 yrs? if you think, he has planned it well and can sustain you all well, then may be you can talk to him to see if he can work a bit longer to make sure you provide for another little one as well..

it is good that he has social cause in mind..not many of us think like that.. but since he has a family now, his first responsibility should be to secure you folks..i would make sure his plans for future are foolproof, rather as foolproof as you can plan it

good luck convincing him