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Is this part of the culture? Do wedding gifts go to groom's parents?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cultureconfused, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Hope you may have got an idea about everything else after reading a few posts here.

    It does happen. They call it culture when they do it. They blame their culture when they meet. They fight against this culture and what not. But they don't want an outsider to utter a single comment about their culture. They pretend as if everything is picture perfect, and these such incidents are only exceptional.

    lately I see or read these exceptions everywhere. That is funny.

    But again, the lesson learnt is... Don't speak about Indian culture or their practice with any Indian. And expect anything genuine with them.

    Like you said, put your foot down, and let them know that you are into a marriage and not in a play mood. They will back off.
     
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    OP,you don't have to take any culture bull**** from any one.You are not an Indian and they should not expect you to be like an Indian daughter in law. In fact it will help your cause to stand firm on your cultural identity.At least you have a choice of choosing and discarding what you want from your own culture.You will not be allowed that liberty with your husband's culture.
    SGBV is right.We as a nationality can be extremely sensitive and hypocritical about our culture. It is better to stand firm in the beginning .Once they realize you are no pushover,you can choose to take what you want from your husband's culture if you want. Don't bend over backwards to assimilate.Choose a middle ground .Take what you like and refuse what you don't.You have that choice.Most of us don't.
     
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  3. nagvnvn

    nagvnvn Silver IL'ite

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    Hey, this is no where related to culture and its no point of you thinking it as culture related.

    Its your in-laws thoughts and nature how they reacted for gifts no where linked to culture of india or any part of india.

    And it takes ages for you to understand the CULTURES in INDIA. there are numerous traditions and cultures in INDIA.

    If they are really following culture, they would never allow their son to get married to a girl out of their community. There its clearly visible that they are even adjusting for their sons sake.

    So there is nothing related to culture here its just their nature and behavior.



     
  4. JustLikeYou

    JustLikeYou Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,
    What yoIL says is not true. people give gifts to the newly wed to start off their married life in Indian. Your MIL seems to be silly just like mine. Mine regifted the present that was given to me when i got back from honeymoon. Whereas the I have friends whose MIL sent every gift to their new house intact.
     

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