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Is This Comment Offensive?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Rihana, Mar 16, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    I was watching a stand up comedy by Amit Tandon on Netflix yesterday. He is funny enough and watchable, humor is light and never profane or vulgar. There was a part about PTM's (parent teacher meetings). Below is a sentence by sentence translation from Hindi:

    Now-a-days we have to prepare and go to PTM's. People will judge. Earlier, PTM's were simple. Here teacher, there parent, and there the child. First teacher describes the child's faults, and parent scolds the child. Done. Now-a-days it has changed. I went to my daughter's PTM for the first time, she was in first standard. I am sitting there. There is a lady before me with her son, Agastya. She is telling the teacher, "Ma'am Agastya's grades are fine. Ma'am please don't bring the AC temperature in classroom below 24 degrees. Ma'am, his grades are fine, but he cannot speak properly in public... even if knows a poem, if we make him stand, he does not recite the poem.. please help him reduce his stage fear.. give him opportunity to speak in class."

    I thought to myself, "Agastya is only 7 years old, what is the use of reducing stage fear! Rajeev Gandhi also doesn't have stage fear, what great has he achieved in life!" That lady is going on and here I am getting more terrified. I didn't have any questions. Asking questions is mandatory! It's my turn! The rest of the parents are sitting behind me... now if I don't ask anything, they will think she is my adopted child!

    Question: I thought the part about adopted child was downright offensive and not okay even in a comedy show. I was watching it with two adults. One of them agreed with me and said the comment was not cool. The other said if I am so sensitive I shouldn't watch stand up comedy.

    What do you think?
    .
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Today, we talked about it again. I still think the comment was not nice. It implies that parents of adopted children don't care as much about their studies or care less about them than biological parents.

    I was presented with the counter-argument: Well the show also stereotyped wives as the kind who remember things in detail, men as the kind who always want to watch cricket and even start a fake fight with wife so she gives him silent treatment for hours when the match is on. If these are fine, what is wrong with the adopted children comment?

    I could only say, "If you don't get what is offensive without an explanation, you won't get it with an explanation."
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2020
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  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    I thought why was it offensive for Rihana until I saw the last line!!

    A facebook adoption group which I'm part of posted this and I saw a lot of discussion on the same. Mostly from those who were offended.

    "good news " movie too was offensive apparently because it kept saying "apna khoon" . The argument was how can a modern movie present such a subject, that too in a country where adoption is still considered as "not an option " .I didn't bother to watch the movie after that post and skipped going with friends .

    The point is stand up comedies/movies are good. But some content is offensive. But not worth taking to heart because what's offensive for us is a content of laughter for others. Perhaps nothing wrong in that.
     
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly! I watched that movie and I remember that comment. I have to go post in the thread about the movie.

    The discussion in the FB group was about Amit Tandon's standup comedy or about such a comment in general?
     
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  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Screenshot_20200316_105944.jpg
    It was about this particular clip which you are talking about.
    Attaching screen shot of the post(just in case you want to throw a counter argument that you are not the only one offended ) : )

    P.S I edited the pic to keep the poster and group name discreet .
     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you! : )

    Am glad it is not on YouTube. Maybe less people will watch it that way.

    Sad thing was the audience laughed. They looked educated and well-to-do. No gasps or boo's, not even one.
     
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  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Two points :
    1) when a stand up comedian writes a script I wonder if there is a team which checks on what goes into the script and see whether or not it's offensive? If nobody found it offensive and we should accept that a majority of them are ignorant about the whole adoption thing and enjoy such jokes.
    2) The claps and laughs are edited/added later before it is released into broadcast media?
    Why I say is I watch a lot of stand up comedies and feel sometimes the same pattern of laughter/claps comes from the audience . Sometimes there's nothing to laugh about (for me) but I hear the audience laugh and clap in a particular pattern!

    Anyways I could be over thinking :grinning::grinning:
     
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  8. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    I think the same as you @Rihana
    It is a low comment.

    I also felt your friend's comment, "if you are sensitive don't watch" equally wrong.
    Unless folks like you point out the wrong, how can people correct themselves?

    I hope the FB opposition grows stronger so that the scriptwriter takes more care in future.
     
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  9. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    I second your comment @Anusha2917
     
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  10. meVaidehi

    meVaidehi Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with you. It was unnecessary comment. In the scenario, being able to ask questions or not was about parent's curiosity, involvement level and ability to speak up to the teacher if you think it's needed. The lady before him didn't seem to have too bad questions. If you can't ask, you are dumb not because of your blood relation with the child. Of course adoptive or biological every parent loves their child just as much as they should. Unless they are monsters.
     
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