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Is There Any Right Age Difference?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Archanaanchan, Dec 4, 2017.

  1. pinkRoseBud

    pinkRoseBud Gold IL'ite

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    I think she said more than 5-6 years not favored.
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    If its a love marriage age doesn't matter, I believe, as long as there is love, comparability and understanding. But how long a marriage can survive, time only can say.

    But, if it is an arranged marriage every thing matters, including age like @GeetaKashyap said.

    Ideally, men should be older than women as women gets older fast and have at least 3y or more of mental maturity than men for the same age. May be that is the reason why age gap below 6 ys is Ok in an arranged marriage.

    Some of my friends I know have same age, but they are leading a great life. Another friend of mine, who is much younger to husband, may be by 5yrs, has the opinion that the age difference works well for her, because of the mature behavior of her dh. In my case , age difference is 1year. My dh give the impression of a very mature person to everyone, I guess, but I felt many times that he is not matured enough for me. I think it varies from person to person and it is very difficult to predict what work for one.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2017
  3. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Emotional maturity is more important than chronological age when looking for a groom. Is he still tied to Mummy's pallu? Is he capable of independent living? Is he ready to commit to marriage?
     
  4. Nylaa

    Nylaa Silver IL'ite

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    Disclaimer: I'm not an experienced soul as I'm only 24. :tonguewink: Here is my opinion though.

    I think there are a few things to take into account when discussing age differences, such as:

    1) Maturity - Unfortunately, maturity does not always correlate to age. Some people may be more mature at a younger age, while other people may be older and not as mature.

    2) Compatibility - If people are compatible in other ways, age is less of an issue.

    3) The age of the people involved. As people gain life experience, an age difference of a few years does not make as much difference because both people are at similar place in their lives. For instance, a 32 year old woman marrying a man who is 38/39 isn't as significant because, at that age, both parties have a bit of life experience, are both established in their fields, and are at the same stage of life or close to it. In contrast, a 22 year old marrying a 29 year old may not work because a significant amount of growth and experience happens between the early and late twenties and the 29 year old may be at a different stage in their life than the 22 year old.

    There is also individual difference, of course. Some people may prefer an older, younger, or similarly aged partner for whatever reason. Personally, I never gave age much thought or rather, it wasn't a determining or deterring factor in considering someone.
     
  5. krishnas

    krishnas New IL'ite

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    2 or 3 yrs age difference is good.
     
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  6. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    There are men like George Clooney that age well ! Like wine , older the better. So a big age difference may not always be bad ! Ask his wife ;)
     
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  7. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    No age difference (or even woman older by upto 1 year):-Nowadays, it's very common that people are marrying their classmates/ colleagues of same age. It helps as both are same age, have similar experiences, similar lifestyle and they can, understand each others' situation/stage in life and grow together. Also, they can mix with the common friends of same age group. Such relationships, it doesn't matter whether the woman is 25 or 35 during time of marriage, as they have natural compatibility/attraction/understanding.

    2 years difference:- Some women may be more mature to accept responsibility of marriage at young age, but many men are not ready to get married and settled down in life so soon. eg. eg. a 25 year old man may feel too young to get married but 25 year old woman & 27/28 year old man may both feel the maturity to settle down. This is most common.

    5-6 years age difference:- Some women may want a dominating/very mature person who can handle life very well.Sometimes , a woman needs a very successful man and well settled, ... while the man wants a woman who can handle the home turf well. So, then this age gap comes into picture eg. 24 year old woman and 29 year old man; 27 year old woman 32 year old man.

    Random age difference :- younger man OR 10 years older husband etc
    This mostly happens in love marriage, where already both know each others' maturity level , irrepective of age both are equally mature and compatible. If understanding is good and they are together for long time before marriage, they may have a very successful marriage. But in arranged marriage, one should avoid this kind of difference, because in most situations, both are in completely different stages of life...
    a 22 year old girls marrying a 32 year old man, how will they have common interests, understand each other- she wants to enjoy life , go out and have fun, speak without thinking ..he wants to be mature, eat healthy , be restrained etc ... or. a 30 year old woman, a 40 year old man. Maybe they can be a case of opposites attract and be fascinated with the others maturity vs innocence but not recommended unless you know the person well.

    Finally, if two people understand each other well, age difference doesn't matter. When you don't know, better to go for a safe age difference ( same age or husband older by upto 3 years). Also,a fact of life, that as women take sole burden of pregnancy(ies) and child rearing, they start aging quickly, while men look attractive for longer(even with grey hairs/wrinkles) , so a bit of an age difference helps .. but it is upto the person how health/beauty conscious they are and what efforts they take to maintain. With a disciplined lifestyle, people can age well.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2017
  8. Nylaa

    Nylaa Silver IL'ite

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    You know, I think that is the case with some fortunate women as well. It's definitely the case with Amal. I've seen photos of her of when she was younger and she looks MUCH better now (then again, having access to George's fortune probably helps too :tonguewink:).
     
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  9. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Actually looked her up and found a blog AmalbeforeGeorge :laughing:
    She does look better now , but don’t know if it’s having access to George’s fortune or access to George that’s the reason. Btw, I believe she is a human rights lawyer , so pretty accomplished herself.
    a
     
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  10. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sandycandy,

    Great choice! No restrictions apply for a guy like George Clooney. :tonguewink:

    @nakshatra1,

    Perfect analysis!
     

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