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is premarital sex right?

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by anurajiv, Jan 7, 2010.

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  1. Sunny3

    Sunny3 New IL'ite

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    Right! And haven't we witnessed in the recent past how some very thought provoking threads just got digressed ONLY due to some FOOLISH posters trying to impose on others what they believe is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH and how I would call sheer stupidity on the part of other posters going on and on just trying to convince what they believe in.
    I mean, are we all not DIFFERENT with different upbringing, different brains, different ways of reacting to the same problem then why argue so much on somethings that are JUST PERSONAL to everyone.

    Isn't SEX a very personal affair whether is it PRE, EXTRA OR RIGHT IN THE MARRIAGE............whatever.
    I see how some posters have lot of fun reading between the lines, ridiculing just for the HECK of it!!.........CLOWNS!!! according to me!! who cannot just agree to disagree
     
  2. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Here is the key difference. Almost everyone in this thread who has been supportive of pre-marital sex has unanimously said it is an individual choice and should be left as such. So if pre-marital sex is not for you, then you just say its not for you and move on. Its perfectly ok to say you disagree to the idea of pre-marital sex because of personal ideologies or beliefs or choices and its not for you. But when people who choose not to engage in pre-marital sex hop on the moral high horse and start passing judgements like they are pure and clean, they have high morals, high integrity and what not vs the ones who choose to engage in it and also try very hard to establish a dodgy correlation between pre-marital sex and date rapes, teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, extramarital affairs etc to demonize and vilify it, then that idea based on unfounded facts and your own wild imagination certainly deserves to be ridiculed and laughed at.

    I am almost 100% positive that people who have supported pre-marital sex as a individual choice and liberty have not said anywhere that it is the best ever form of it and everyone should engage in it or else. But the ones who are opposed to it have no qualms stating ludicrous theories and pseudo moral arguments against pre-marital sex to support their choice.

    So if you are not exposed to it and choose not to engage in it, maybe you should not be inventing spurious theories against pre-marital sex to support your choice.
     
  3. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Malavika, You have a valid point here.

    Yes, if you go for it then FINE, that's your decision. If not, then also FINE....that's also your decision or belief.
    Don't accuse someone who had Pre-marital sex judging them according to what you personally believe in.
    There is one thing which everyone seems to forget.....this is between two consenting ADULTS. So, why should the 3rd person feel it is immoral, illicit?

    As for my opinion on this explosive subject................As long as this is NOT between a minor child and an adult.........I think it is JUST PERSONAL and it is NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS!!....to poke our nose in the affairs of 2 consenting ADULTS.
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Precisely. If you want to go ahead with it, then go ahead. If you feel it is better to refrain, pls. do so.

    Why pass judgement on "morality", "character", "integrity" etc? Thats just plain bull.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2010
  5. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    There is nothing explosive about this subject in my opinion.

    If it is between a minor child and an adult, it is no longer an issue of morality or choice, but a matter of legality. Sex with minors is against the law in most countries and it instantly becomes a legal issue.

    I concur. And so would everyone in this thread who support pre-marital sex as an individual choice, I think.
     
  6. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Malavika, We have to agree that even in this modern age, in whatever society, the 3 lettered word raises a heated debate anywhere......reason....people have their own personal beliefs attached to it and ofcourse their preferences based on their beliefs which they seem to strongly call 'MORALS' and no matter what, it is highly impossible to make them see the reality/truth. Hence, I call this explosive.


    You are right!! What I meant was, unless it is something illegal, we should not bother about it.
     
  7. SharmiLee2010

    SharmiLee2010 New IL'ite

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    None of the ladies here can justifiably say pre-marital sex was right. They get wishy washy. Now consider this. Completely inept two some get together in the name of marriage. He does not know what to expect. She neither knows what to give or expect. They are mortally afraid of each other's quests. and each others egos. So they never explore. They never mature as sexually active adults. They remain at the fringes.

    The guilt, the secrecy and what not of pre-marital sex is so non-indian. It was freely allowed in ancient india. And justifiably so. not freelancing. not philandaring. but to a certain extent this freedom existed.

    This definitely helps to mature both partners. I think we must approach this with more openness
     
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry Malvi, I missed answering this question you asked.
    It means - "God will poke your eyes" - parents tell kids, that if you make mistakes, then God will poke your eyes, so be a good kid :bonk
     
  9. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    Right and wrong is relative. For starters we inherit definitions of right and wrong from our parents and people we grow amongst. In our teens , we start becoming aware of the opposite gender. Many girls would behave in ways to get attention from guys. This instinct to attract and feel attracted to the opposite gender is a part of natures plan to continue the species.

    So just because it is a natural instinct and opportunity presents itself, it may not be the most prudent to binge.

    Complications include
    1. risk of pregnency
    2. feeling obligated to marry due to the physical involvement
    3. interpreting lust as love
    4. distraction from studies etc.


    On the other hand being able to exercise control over ones impulses has its much-touted advantages. Couple of examples:
    Self-control over urges to binge so that one does not put on weight.
    Self-control over urges to shop everything that catches ones fancy so that one can save up for more substantial things.

    The idea is to exercise self-control and indulge only with the individual that has been deemed fit to spend the entire life with.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2010
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    ^ BeeAmma,
    Point being an adult still has the right to make a choice on what is important to them and how they want to lead their life. Society has no business in interfering and labeling them as immoral, lacking character etc.

    There is a choice. And, each person has the full right to make the choice.
     
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