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Is Parenthood our Extended Childhood?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by mstrue, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Nowadays it has become my routine to see DS at his lunch hour with fresh hot lunch. Each day after he eats to his content I feel very satisfied. :)
    The extra trip to school feels so worthwhile when I see his welcome smile and his hippity hop walk towards his mommy. :thumbsup
    Except on the days I push the envelope a little too far & nag him to eat off his plate :bonk, he seems to enjoy my presence at school a lot.

    I recall my schooldays..My mom never had the time or luxury to drop by during the lunch hour..so to speak, my parents never made it to the parents day or such school functions. My mom was working and it would be very unreasonable to expect her at school during lunch. But children won't know what is reasonable and what is not. All they have are emotions and expectations.

    I had always had this lingering longing when I see some parents in my school campus with lunch packs and serving plates etc , tending their offsprings.:-( Ofcourse they were all stay-at-home moms.

    Since I valued it so much, I find the time and energy to run to & fro to my son's school 2 to 3 times a day. And I wonder if my son would value it the same way?! Does it seem worthwhile to him seeing his mommy over his shoulders that often? :biglaugh

    I am sure my parents would have done something that they had missed as a child themselves. I am also sure I would have overlooked some of those acts of love. Will my act too slip through the cracks in my son's world? What would be his longing that he might make it a point to bring into his kids' lives? :confused2:

    Are we all parents trying to relive our 'dream' childhood at the expense of our kids' lives? Are our children in someway our proxies to the world we wished for? Is Parenthood nothing but an extention of our childhood orchestrated by the child within us?!

    PS:
    Sometimes, we teach music to kids because WE love to sing.. because we never had the oppurtunity to learn..
    When we fail to realise what is valuable/interesting to us may not be the same to our kids, there is a great possibility we may answer yes to the above questions.. We need to strike a balance on what we do and what we don't and sometimes, what we overdo. :coffee
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2010
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  2. reshmanoor

    reshmanoor New IL'ite

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    hi ms
    just now i read some of ur posts and realised that the efforts u take on regard of ur son should be very much appreciated.he is lucky he has gotta very good mom.i really wonder how much energy u got to do so.i think soon he could be bored or u r taking too much of his time restraining him to mingle with the other kids.all things have its own possitive and negative sides as u know.
     
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    mstrue,
    Whats the secret of your energy? Boost, Complan, DH+DS? :)

    You have pondered a few questions. I'd say - just like we tell in the Rel forum, have a casual chat with DS. Even at this age, if you have a casual chat and ask him if he wants something else, or are there things he'd like - he will tell you. Just a thought.

    But be careful what you ask for - He will tell you and then you might have to have some more Boost!
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2010
  4. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks, ReshManoor! Very sweet of you. :)
    Nah, I hardly take his time, rather he hardly 'gives' me time. :biglaugh
     
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Hey Thanks, SP! :)
    Secret of my energy:
    Diplomatic & Partial answer: Passion towards what I do.
    Rest of the Answer: I only project what I do;what I don't - mine to work on:crazy
    Rel forum format.. Thank God, You did not suggest taking him alone on a vacation, just the two of us and get him to open up. :biglaugh
    Reason for this writeup is: It just dawned on me that no matter what, there will always be gaps that are yet to be filled in.. You are right, SP.. a casual talk will reveal more at times. Parents should take cues from children too.

    :rotflYou are so right!
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2010
  6. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear True

    You seem to be a very loving mother. We as mothers want our children to be happy so take time to do everything for them not expecting anything in return. During my childhood my mother was not so much educated and she never used to go out much. So cant expect her to come to school. But they used to wait at home with nice snacks when we come back from school in the evening.

    Now a days mothers who do not work go themselves to leavethe children at the bus stop, then when they come back to to pick them up. The children are also happy to see their mother waiting for them and come running to their mother. Recently when I was in Bangalore with my dh's niece, me and she went to pick her son when he came back from school by bus.
    Her son is 3 and half years old. He was very happy to see us. He went running home leaving us behind as he wanted to see his grandfather and my husband. Poor fellow while running fast he fell down and hurt himself and his mood got spoilt. We felt very bad. It took time for us to console him .

    Sorry I do not know whether my fb is to the point but very long is it.

    love
    viji
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2010
  7. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks Vijima!! :)
    Oh poor kid.. he must be very excited at seeing you all..
     
  8. mithila kannan

    mithila kannan Gold IL'ite

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    My dear MS,
    Such a beautiful post,I have to share some thoughts with you.

    I was brought up by my mother who never hugged me and I just don't remember her kissing me.I grew up without experiensing those lovely moments.I also never hugged or kissed my daughters as often as I would have liked.But both my daughters who had this longing for hugs and kisses from their mother are making it up in their childrens'' lives.Iam so happy to see my daughtes expressing their love for their children in myriad ways,chief being hugging them and kissing them and telling each child,"I love you".Here I must tell you that my DH made up for my being a shy or introverted mother.

    It is true that parents,well most of them try to fulfill their childhood or teenage desires through their offsprings.A classical example being MS.Jayalalitha.Jayalalitha was a brilliant student and was the best outgoing student of her batch when she passed her school final.If she had been allowed to continue her studies and take up what she wanted, she would have become somebody great in her chosen field.But her mother Sandhya was keen that her daughter should become a top heroine and Jayalalitha ended up acting in films.But her indomitable spirit and her intelligence stayed put with her and today she is a formidable political leader.

    My blessings to your son,let him do what he wants and excel in the field that he chooses when he grows up.

    love
    mithila
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2010
  9. shabd

    shabd Bronze IL'ite

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    you are a wonderful mom.your son is very lucky to get a mom like you.Bow
     
  10. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your blessings & comments, Mithila Aunty!! :) Happy to see you here. I have been brought up the same way as you. And like your DDs, I compensate it by showering my DS with hugs and kisses & ofcourse countless "I LoveYou"s a day. :rotfl

    As you say JayaLalitha is a good example for Sandhya's extented childhood! Sure I shall let DS live his life which he is entitled to. :thumbsup Thanks for visiting again.
     

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