Friends, do you all believe that in marriages, there is mutual give and take, and, a 50-50 partnership? Are the scales evenly balanced when we clearly define what is expected of the husband or the wife? Are you convinced that the scale does not tilt towards (any) one side? I know, I am asking too many questions! Well, just one more, please!! How does the equation change when Both partners are working Or When the wife is a home-maker? When a girl gets married ( I am talking of typical Indian Society now), she takes time to cope with the dynamics of the new family. In India, we say, a girl just does not get married to a boy but to a family. Hence that is her most demanding task, since adapting to a new family atmosphere is not easy at all. She is expected to make a mark as soon as she enters the family! This is where the Indian psyche complicates the situation. I don’t deny that it has improved over the recent years. But when it comes to compromise and tolerance, the expectation from the woman still continues to be on the higher side! Now, it is accepted that she does need time for her personal grooming, hobbies, visiting her side relatives etc; but still, when it comes to sacrifices, the expectation from her continues to be high! For career women, the society very often expects, the man’s career comes first, however well the wife is educated and employed. She is expected to be ready to resign and relocate if her husband cannot let go of a good opportunity for growth. She has to do it, lest resentment creeps in! The reverse is true in very rare cases. The woman is expected to keep in touch and visit her in-laws on a regular basis. But how many men do the same? Leave alone in-laws, the wife is expected to be sociable with her husband’s friends, but do men socialise when their wives’ friend drop in? It happens in less cases!! A woman has the natural flair for keeping the family together and maintaining harmony in relationship. Ofcourse, today quite a few men have taken on the womens’ jobs like doing the dishes, cleaning up etc. A man who is sure of himself and understands the family role does this happily. Each marriage is unique and finds its own balance. There is no point in comparing and generalising. But the sad thing is, a man is appreciated if he is supportive; if the wife is, it is taken for granted! It is only expected of her!! We must start on a firm footing of mutual respect for eachother and both must work equally hard for its success. Because we are married “for better or for worse” ! Love, Chithra.