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Is old age homes good for senior citizens

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Neerjavakil, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Neerjavakil

    Neerjavakil Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Satchi
    I am not a person that you or other are thinking. I was here only to share some sorrow or some griefs of the people by consoling or putting so threads that every other member of the forum may feel benifited. I am very happy that you have a very clear and broader vision and want the discussion to be moved further but clearly speaking i am not in mood now neither i have so energy put in so much effort. My hubby is a journalist and i have to look so many things. it was really a great fun to be with you people here. I enjoyed your company like my own family as rightly said
    ' Vasudev Kutumbkam' which means world is one single family. That i felt here, truly.:thumbsup

    But since you and everyone in the forum is insisting i will think on it again.
    regards
     
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  2. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Neerjavakil,

    Congrats on being nominated to FP of the month by Iyerviji and Vidyamenon.

    The topic you have started is a very relevant one and is timely. The amount of animosity it has produced is certainly a sign of the changing climate of our society, society in India...

    I echo Cheeniya sir's above words here once again and like he mentions, this is not the first time this topic has been discussed on our pages but this time, a certain decorum was not maintained by few posters, which is sad.

    'Change is the only constant in life'. It will do everyone good to remember that adage.

    What we should also remember is, God willing, everyone gets old one day and let us hope old age and the comfort and happiness of elders is respected, whether at Home or in an Old Age Home and work towards it.

    L, Kamla
     
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  3. Neerjavakil

    Neerjavakil Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Kamla

    Thanks to Vijma and Vidya for nominating my post.

    I know it is not for the first time that the topic has been discussed. It has been by so many earlier and will continue in future also according to their own needs and way of tackling it.

    Actully, who have faced this situation and are facing it might have got upset with this subject for their approach on settlling the issue.

    At the end i am sure good sense will prevail.


    Thanks a lot to you for congratulating me.
    Neerja
     
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  4. Neerjavakil

    Neerjavakil Silver IL'ite

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    Cutemonster

    Your comments on the topic are to the point and accepted.

    would you please differentiate between an OAH and the hostel where one gets all the homely facilities against considerations. Your uncle is fortunate to have been sponsered by his kids to have a good life back home i presume.

    Let all be as lucky.
     
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  5. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Neerja, have you ever lived in a hostel?
    From my experience .. hostel is a place where are treated alike.. irrespective of your background.
    There are rules and you're not living a free life as per your will.
    All have to eat same food in same plates and same tables within same time slots.. you don't get privilege to get your type of food into your room.. except weekends.

    Mess bulk cooked food (of low cost grain items) comes along with alien creatures once in a while.

    I had to pass a summer month without a fan fixture till I decided to drive the warden to ALL warden's office.. it was changed within 1/2 hr.

    I had an accident, badly hurt leg but had to hop for food for the specific durations the mess was open. Not just me .. but many more such cases. Your roommates can assist you when they can.

    .... many many more.

    AM really wondering if these can be termed as HOMELY facilities against considerations. Despite these I really feel that hostel life has enabled me to be ME.

    We start fixing shortcomings of an institute only when we start accepting that institute. If people are identifying the need of better old age care centers (DAY care/ weekend care/ long term care), they'll start becoming a part of that change... but it cannot come until you validate the need............... if not for you then atleast for someone who probably has no one to decide for.
     
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  6. Neerjavakil

    Neerjavakil Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot you have good knowledge of hostel. For your information i have sent my son to hostel for his better performance in education where he may not get distracted by so many things and spend some good time in education and do all the activities related for his betterment in life.

    I am spending thousands of rupees monthly to provide him better hostel facility, good meals and good environment. But stll there may be something which he must be lacking.

    Of course nothing can beat the comfort of home and above all love and affection of parents , who are their all the time, whenever he needs. But he may not feel dependent on others later in life for certain things, i consider it is better to put him in hostel.

    Now coming to point, If you want to differentiate

    Hostel- is a place where there is dream for the better future that a chld beholds in his eyes, irrespective of all the difficulties he may/might be facing.

    OAH-is a place where old people spend their days that some day their near and dear ones will come to see them to whom they have spent all their lives serving for them.

    Desite, knowing all the pros and cons if anybody is ready to go, i don't have problem either.

    [
     
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  7. aaryambal

    aaryambal Junior IL'ite

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    I have personally visited many old age homes and spoken to the inmates. Most of them have landed there due to their own wrong thinking and habits like domination, not accepting their daughter-in-law as their son's equal partner, over interference, not adjusting to the changed family circumstances and lifestyle etc. etc. Some of them are immature enough to accept that they have to share their son with their daughter-in-law. After all a daughter-in-law is supposed to be their unquestioning slave. The same parents who understand their daughter's vows are simply ruthless with regards to their daughter-in-law. Sometimes proper counselling has be helpful in uniting them with their family.
     
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  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Aaryambal,

    Can you pls assist in finding a place for a lady in following thead..
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/personal-services-in-bangalore/203595-any-good-old-age-home.html

    My frnd is in tears and torned apart on what best can be done for her mother.. she's quit her job to take care of her child.. but inlaws and husband insisting that her mother be sent back to her native home. Mother and daughter have lesser income to hire a full time maid and a rented house alone for the ailing mother on oxygen support. They've run out of all their savings with hospitalizations. Her husband (at a v sr. post in a MNC.) has told her that if things are not sorted out he's not in a mental state to continue working and then everyone will have to pack bags and live in whatever money they have.

    Few places I talked to are not ready to take her with oxygen support machine.. she has to be medically fit with some 5-6L of down payment.
     

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