Is old age a boon or a curse

iyerviji · Jan 29, 2014

The real beauty of old age is that it is a boon to every human being as it is the indication of maturity, inexhaustible knowledge, intelligence and wisdom. The vast experience and maturity bring respect from every corner. - through Google

There are people who do so much good but they dont want others to know that they are doing good. They say na the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing. There are people who are ready to serve the old . Two days back one of our relatives expired. He was 103 years old . His son and daughter in law looked after him very nicely. He was blessed to have such loving son and daughter in law and they were also blessed because he never troubled them. He was ok health wise only thing he could not hear. He used to be independent and never troubled them. His wife had expired long back and his daughter in law looked after him very nicely after his wife's death. They also celebrated his 100th year and we also had the opportunity to go and take his blessings. My sister had given a spiritual book and I had made a greeting card for him. His daughter in law used to tell us that he always remembers that and appreciate us. He had good memory power. I got the message about his death through fb from his dil's sister. So had the opportunity to talk to his daughter in law.

But there are people also who dont want to look after their in laws. One of my dh's friend's daughter stayed with her in laws for 15 years or so. But when her mother in law became ill she left them and came to her parents house and wanted to go there only when her husband agrees to stay separately. But her husband says when my parents need them most how can I leave them and come. What he says also is correct. He cant leave his parents when they need him the most. In any case we dont know the realt picture in her in law's house, so we cant say anything whether she is right or not. The wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

Some think it is the duty of their children to look after them. Whereas some dont want to trouble their children and even when their children are looking after them well the like to go and stay in old age homes . God should give health to old age people so that they can live independently and be a book to the youngsters. When the both are there no problem, but if the wife does or the husband in old age the other person become alone . A woman can stay alone and manage everything but its difficult for men to stay alone.

swathiiyer · Jan 29, 2014

Beautiful again.. You always come with life experiences which have some meaning... Thanks for sharing as these are very useful in todays world... I wish a wish where all your wishes come true...

iyerviji · Jan 29, 2014

Thanks Swathi dear for making a boni to my write up with your sweet message. Glad you liked the write up and thanks for your good wishes .As always mademydaysmiley with your first like and first fb

VaniVyas · Jan 29, 2014

Hi,

These days ladies have so much pressure in family esp if they are working. In case of house wife, i think she has to do double the work of a normal working lady. Taking care of old parents, in laws , children it a never ending work. And after a long day of work, you always put off your duty towards your husband. In this process, the relationship between husband and wife comes to a stray. This proves the Indian equation for marriage that it is mainly for families and secondary for self.
The whole idea is a self driven maid to take care of the whole family and later hear your husbands blame even if you fail to do a small thing. He later scold you for having polished his shoe or for not keeping the flowers properly in the flower basket.

It is at this point of time that you realise your life is a big waste. Invested for others and get nothing in return.

Now lets analyze the case of working ladies. U have to take beating from office as well as family. U cannot give extra hours in office because it will be on the same day u in laws would have welcomes someone for dinner. Many a time it happens that on a busy day at work, u will be welcomed home with a menu list prepared by your MIL for the guests who will arrive shortly. Also they will not prefer food from outside to add to injuiry. Now after finshing all house hold work your MIL may feel pity for you and ask you to go to bed for your have work tomm. But then DH comes and says u have no time for me so be in kitchen. This will worse the scenerio and the MIL who was supporting you five min back becomes your enemy in tose two words from your husbands mouth.

Also at any circumstances, if you husband tells you to take a off for some family function, u should take a leave no matter how urgent you work in office is. If you are speaking on the phone on the way then they stare at you as if u r speaking to your ex-boy friend. And then a comment comes, If u r too busy then u should not have come... so we have to take care of everybody, do work to lessen the burden on hubby and in turn get penalised for every small errors.....

LIFE IS A MYSTERY TO WOMAN.....

padmaja909 · Jan 29, 2014

mam nice post. the first part is very heart warming. you are blessed to know such a nice family, and get blessing from a elderly person who crossed century.

luckysangeetha · Jan 29, 2014

good one viji ma... getting a such a lovely children and dil during old age is a boon and other vice versa is a curse....

Again it all depends on the mind set... we need to think all are humans then this problem will not come

luckwaves · Jan 29, 2014

Viji ma,

Very nicely written and you just grabbed my thoughts. Was just talking to my husband yesterday about people who are leaving their parents at old age home . They could be bad Inlaws but they must be good as a parent for their kids rt. I don't know how some times boys nod their head to the wife's demand without thinking about his own blood who brought him to this level .

Actually in this current life style it should be more of given and take to lead a happy life . Ie the parents should demand on need and should try to understand the situation inside the family .also the youngsters should realise very soon we will be in their shoes and all throug the life we can't be young and independent .

Seeing kids in orphanage is heart breaking but for me seeing old people(with healthy and well earning kids) but still forced to stay in a old age is something I cannot digest . Wish I could adopt few people as my relatives and make them stay with me .

Old age is a second childhood . I wish and pray all youngsters should treat their old parents like kids and not as a burden .

Take care viji ma.

vjan29 · Jan 29, 2014

I always feel all the old age homes should be closed. I encourage orphanage homes, but not old age homes.

joylokhi · Jan 29, 2014

Dear vijimam,
Your question is a million dollar question in modern times. You have brought forth your thoughts so well and they are really true. As long as old people continue as a couple, life can go on but the situation when one is left alone is the most difficult one. I think old people should ready themselves to face whatever future is in store for them- both in terms of finances, arrangements for living etc - whether with family or in senior homes etc, so that nothing is a shock and the transition is smooth.
AND, as someone had commented on our relationship forums, KEEP ONES EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS TO THE MINIMUM - whether family or friends, and there will no question of disappointments.
Thats my take on the future. Best wishes, mam.

JustMyself · Jan 29, 2014

Shirking ones responsibilities is not the right way to live. So when it comes to the situation in your post, yes, you are absolutely correct. The situation is not good. I wonder what the girl would do, if her parents fall sick.

Anyway, coming to your question, I believe Old Age Home is a Boon in every aspect. While India is changing in many ways, our support system has not changed ! We encouraged nuclear family, but Baby day care or Old Age Homes are still not readily available (think or areas outside the city borders too..) I have witnessed teachers taking their kids to school on Saturdays when there is no one to watch over them, as it is a Holiday for the kid ! So, day care is essential.

In the same tone, Old Age Home is essential too. There are many couples who choose to have only one kid. Now, what would those kids do, when both their elderly parents need their support during old age. Also, at some homes, when both the young couple has to work, it becomes a security issue to leave the elderly couple or individual alone at home. So, I believe old age home is essential too. Atleast it gives an option for tricky situations.

Just my 2 cents