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Is my life Worth?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sm123, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. sm123

    sm123 Silver IL'ite

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    Is my life Worth?...Answer seems yes...but sometimes,I feel like I am losing it....


    My Life is full of ups and downs...


    1)Constant interfering MIL and FIL.
    2)Jealous and Insecure SIL.I thought things will change after her marraige,but BIL also joined the show.
    3)Married for almost 12 years..Love marriage..Lol..:-(
    DH-Emotionally distant,Mommys Boy,So much attached to his sis,Does not care about the wife anymore..and off course a good father.
    4)Parents-Sometimes supportive and sometimes not..On the whole,they think that I am married,so.i have to adjust no matter what.
    5)Kids-Being younger kids(8 and 3)..Constant tantrums..and daily fights between them.
    6)At work-Not that much satisfactory,but keeps me busy.
    7)Friends/Family-DH keeps an eye on with whom I talk,and keeps throwing tantrums and complains to my mom that I dont care about anyone except me..Really?
    8)Hectic life,running between kids and office,house...DH hardly helps these days,saying he has lots of work..Dont I?
    9)On top of these,DH keeps throwing tantrums every day that,I dont talk to MIL/SIL every day or give them the daily update..or dont talk to BIL or dont do that and this..If nothing is there,the kids are naughty because of me:-(




    On the other side.
    1)Its ME.ME..ME..and hoping God too..But seriously dont no where he is...and why he is testing me every day in my life.
    2)Much better than many people in this world,who does not have anything to eat or shelter to eat.
    3)I work,so,to some extent financially independent.
    4)and always tries my best to come back to normal..but how long..seems like I am losing it..
    5)Cant think of anything else...


    I am tired,tired of this life and yet fight back...


    Keeping myself busy with..
    1)Playing with kids.
    2)Engage myself as much as I can.
    3)Painting.
    4)Gardeining.
    5)Devotionall stuff.
    6)Cooking.
    7)Yoga.
    8)Volunteer at temples and other places etc.
    9)Do I have to go to Himalayas now..I wish I could..But cant leave the kids behind..so..have to be in this mess.


    Am I greedy to ask for some caring,some happiness in my life?....What happened to me...Is my mistake to go and get married to DH,which turned my life upside down like this...Why I am alone in my own family...Its not easy to stay and put up with a DH who does not care about you,who hardly talks to you....


    Just venting...but yet pulling myself back up and getting ready to fight...

    Thanks for reading...
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    What separates your and your in-laws' living quarters? A wall, a fence, a few streets, a state, a country, or oceans? Based on the below, I presume, oceans?

    My dear, vent away.

    It might help to resign yourself to the fact that you are bringing up three kids, not two. :)
     
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  3. sm123

    sm123 Silver IL'ite

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    yep..Oceans..But My IN-laws have the capability is control my DH from there..Even now..and being a Mommy boy,he does not say anything to them,though he knows that they are being unreasonable...Typical Sravan kumar I can say:)....

    but SIL and her DH are couple of hours..and they keep poking DH that can we come to your place this weekend.everytime,he calls them(and he calls them once in 2 days to convey our daily update to them too)

    :drowning..just getting tired of this life.with silent treatments from DH and constant stress from all sides...
     
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  4. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    yes worth living .
     
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  5. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    @sm123 (some 123??):

    Everybody's life is full of ups and downs. If we have only ups, we will never value them enough. If we have only downs, we will never be motivated to push ourselves forward.

    Have you tried expressing your feelings to your husband?

    If someone can take care of your kids for few days, plan a vacation just for yourself. Even if its for a day, it will help to some extent.

    Yes, your life is worth living to the fullest extent possible if you make minor changes to it.
     
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  6. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    If you know tamil, there is a kannadasan song : Unakkum keezhe ullavar kodi...
    Will let the more capable IL-ites @JustAnotherMom do a good translation of the verse

    http://youtu.be/wmjEXNFNupM
     
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  7. curiousgals78

    curiousgals78 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi sm123,
    when you get that question in mind think about your kids. they need you. keep the rest to the side and maybe your DH too for a little while. i know how it is like to live as a stranger in your very own house but to maintain our mental peace. i keep hanging on to Indusladies reading the wonderful contributions of Indusladies here and giving credit for the time they spend here posting stuff and reading. kinda diverts me from my issues at home. nowadays indusladies is the first place i goto when im upset. but i cant do this at home bcos my dh came to know i get a boost up from here. so he goes to the extreme level of blocking this site so i cant get access at home. but he cannot stop me at work so i still linger on here.
    diverting your mind is the key here. do not fall trap to their ploys of making you feel down. dont expect support from DH. just give a silent treatment when he starts nagging and leave the place if possible. keep doing all activities with your kids and involve yourself more with them. let inlaws and their dirtiness goto hell with them
     
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  8. indubalram

    indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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    Very nice verse of Kannadasan!
     
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  9. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    yes, your life is worth.

    You are just tired out and overwhelmed from all the work and feeling sorry for yourself. It's okay. Good news is you are at the fag end of the really hard phase and will soon start reaping the rewards of all the hard work you have put in. I am referring to your kids of course. As far as kids are concerned you are nearly at the end of the super intensive 'child/infancy' phase where you have to be constantly alert, hands on, attending to accidents, potty training, feeding etc. Your older one is done and younger is nearly there. Probably when he is 5 and starts going to school too it will get much better -- both will be much more independent, less work intensive and more fun for you-- you will start enjoying more with them interacting with hem, hearing their unique opinions in life and enjoying all their unconditional love too!

    of course I am not making any guarantees for your 'oldest child'! as you may have noticed but 2/3 is still good.

    Meanwhile to keep your sanity stop carrying the weight of these problems around with you while you are gardening or praying or whatever. Let that break you take truly be a break. And of course vent away here!
     
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  10. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    You are overwhelmed with work and kids. You have a typical marriage life. If you pay too much attention to your ILs, it is never ending story. 'All good things will come to end' with the ILs/DH and wait for your turn. Keep a strong bond with your kids and they are the future.

    I keep certain part of life colorful in my memory and somethings are in grey shade! It is part of marriage deal and having that tolerance/acceptance.
     
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