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Is My Irritation Justified ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016.

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  1. Nov 17, 2016 #1
    Naina2016

    Naina2016 Senior IL'ite

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    How would you react to the sudden popularity of your 40 something husband on facebook :expressionless:?

    So there was a college reunion, rather extravagant one and now pics are all over fb and whatsapp.

    Pics were enough to boil my blood - guys and girls holding hands, hugging, drinking:rage:(hmmm..ok ..never mind. Reliving old times)!

    Rubbing salt on my wounds are the comments he receives from certain women admiring his young looks, photogenic face ... GAWD !!! I am nauseating :eek:!!

    Still I tell myself, its all in good humor. public comments (What harm can they do ).

    Then I find his phone locked with a pass code. Suspect he has some private whatsapp msgs too ..

    God - am i irritated ???Yes ..Big time !!! What would you do ?Just let this pass ?
     
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
    #1
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  2. Nov 17, 2016 #2
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes. Let it pass and be proud of having bagged a much coveted man ad a husband. don't burst his bubble of happiness.
     
    guesshoo, Nov 17, 2016
    guesshoo, Nov 17, 2016
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  3. Nov 17, 2016 #3
    Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    no.Face book thing is ok.But locking phone suddenly would raise my suspicion.I would be cautious .I would ask my husband what he is hiding from me.
     
    Iamagoodgirl, Nov 17, 2016
    Iamagoodgirl, Nov 17, 2016
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  4. Nov 17, 2016 #4
    iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Firstly dont show the irritation in front of your DH. He may further try to hide stuff from you to avoid any confusion/confrontation. Instead see how far it goes. Anyway my guess is, all this would die naturally in few days. It may be the intitial excitemenT period for having met after so many years.
    Stay calm and feel proud about your DH:)
     
    iamsrihere, Nov 17, 2016
    iamsrihere, Nov 17, 2016
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  5. Nov 17, 2016 #5
    rajatsingh

    rajatsingh Silver IL'ite

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    You are right. But, it is limited to your situation only. Because, You may will not suspect wild things ,simply because another female Classmate praises him


    But there are husbands, who lock their phones with password, even when an innocuous admiration like, 'you R looking young" from a female Classmate of them arouses a wild suspicion in their wives' minds.

    This OP appears one in the later group. Her husband appears right in locking his phone.
     
    rajatsingh, Nov 17, 2016
    rajatsingh, Nov 17, 2016
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  6. Nov 17, 2016 #6
    Naina2016

    Naina2016 Senior IL'ite

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    I too wouldn't care much about FB but this locked phone took me by surprise !!!
    I think he suspected me of looking into his whatsapp .. But wouldn't locking phone suddenly create more room for suspicion:confundio1:. If it was me, I would simply delete the msgs and keep phone unlocked !!! Anyways ...

    I am also hoping all the hulla hoo is going to die in few days !! But a part of me is very disturbed as a long time ago, a well meaning friendship with an acquaintance resulted in exchange of flirtious msgs from either side. But it ended as quickly as it started as I stumbled upon it and hell broke loose. So it has left a bitter memory of how things can go awry ! I believe lessons were learnt after that episode .. or are they forgotten ???
     
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
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  7. Nov 17, 2016 #7
    Naina2016

    Naina2016 Senior IL'ite

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    Oh dear !!! Sometimes I feel a receding hair line is better after a certain age .. One less thing for wife to worry.
    Now I am not sure what should i worry about - Teen Son or this "Young" (Sarcasm) husband of mine ??
     
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
    Naina2016, Nov 17, 2016
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  8. Nov 17, 2016 #8
    Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Naina,

    Yes, your irritation is justified.

    Your DH is hiding something from you because its worth hiding. Post photos of you both together in FB frequently to let those friends know you are there. Tell him you want to know his friends too. If he denies or postpones, take it as a sign.

    Its not about him being popular, its about how he is with you and family even when he is popular that matters. If the roles were reversed, will he be OK with you popularity and will he be OK with your locking your phone keeping your messages secret? I think not.

    Do not let this pass and do not let him sense your irritation.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2016
    Sparkle, Nov 17, 2016
    Sparkle, Nov 17, 2016
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  9. Nov 18, 2016 #9
    Naina2016

    Naina2016 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you all for taking time to reply ...
    Update -
    So my son needed mobile to google something .. He picks up closest avl one (Hubbys) and screams on the top of his voice "Dad .. whats the passcode , I need to google". Hubby comes quietly and unlocks it for him. Next morning, the phone is no longer locked !! But it doesn't end there .Quick glance thru whatsapp, reveals one conversation with a female friend deleted ... I am not sure how to bring this up !!

    I will surely come across as a suspicious wife who snoops and doesn't allow any personal space.

    In the past I have been accused of reading between the lines and creating a drama .. So thinking ..
     
    Naina2016, Nov 18, 2016
    Naina2016, Nov 18, 2016
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    sindmani likes this.
  10. Nov 18, 2016 #10
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Ok. You've clocked a blip which might or might not be a real problem. do and say nothing for now but keep an eye out.

    At this stage I'd suggest simply that you work on strengthening your bond with your husband.
     
    guesshoo, Nov 18, 2016
    guesshoo, Nov 18, 2016
    #10
    Lakshmi6197 and iamsrihere like this.
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