Is My Decision Right

Hello Ladies,
I am living in such a frustrated life. stuck up on all sides , so planning to go for divorce and have taken the first step of meeting the lawyer personally next week. Already spoke to her over phone and explained my issues in detail. So the issue is drinking habits of my husband. Cant see any change in him in all these years (13 years). Have tried out all possible ways - medicines, treatments . No luck. Few years back, have taken this problem to my parents and they had a fight . For some months he was ok but again his habit started . Till these years after the fight my parents and in laws didnt talk . But later they convinced my parents that he will not repeat. So they are in talking terms now. I dont want to take this issue again to my parents as my mother is a heart patient , had a mild attack recently and had her angiogram done. I am their only daughter and I dont want to hurt them again . Already they are guilty that they made a mistake marrying me to an alcholic guy. We didnt know about this before my marriage . My parents blindly got me married to him as he is distant relative and has a good educational background . What is the use of his education (PhD grad) though he has this bad habit.
He is otherwise good in other aspects - takes good care of me and Kids , his parents who are financially dependent on him (but he he abuses them when drunk , that is a different issue). He comes home boozed daily and abuses verbally. The reason he says work pressure, financial condition ( I also work and earn a decent pay)I also take equal part in house expenses and repaying loans. I am the one who pays the loans - home loan, personal loan ( that we got for his Ph D degree). I am doing all positive things for him but in turn I dont get anything.
I have asked him politely what is the problem, have sorted out the issue, cried to him , asking promises, fought with him, silent treatments , medicines, treatments and what not. First few weeks he will be fine and again after few days, its the same old story.

I have always been very supportive to him. I stood like a rock in his each and every aspects. I also gave him permission to have once in 15 days at home in weekends. .He will said yes but he will not follow. While coming from work he comes boozed. I will clearly find out if he turns late to home from his office.

I am worried of his health. He is diabetic. But still he is not at all worried of his health.

My elder son easily finds out seeing his eyes , he doesnt even go near to him . But he is very attached to his dad when he is fine. I am afraid of his future, his dad being a bad example to him. In future , what will I do if my son does the same. He is not in good environment.

My in laws has no power to speak to him. Though my MIL shouts , fights, advise him, he will just listen and say that he will not booze. But again same story. Few months back my FIL had a fight with him and fight became so worse that my FIL left the house. But again we convinced and brought him home.

I really dont know what to . So I took this step to get seperated from him so that my kids would grow in a healthy environment. Am worried about my parents . He needs a reason to booze daily. whatever may be the reason. One day he hurt his head (not a serious one though). For that he went to booze. Idiot. I heard people going to doctor when hurt not like him. If any tension - booze, if nothing goes right - booze, cold - booze , taken a day off from work - booze. I really dont know why I stayed in this marriage all these years.Please help me out from your valuable advice . I dont have any close friends to share my problem.

Is my decision right, ladies?

 

Thanks for your reply Winterhue. He is not at all accepting to visit rehab. He is very stubborn on that . Twice I fixed appointment with the rehab doctor . At first he will accept and then he will create a scene and verbally abuse even the doctor. Such a cheap attitude he has. I am helpless.

 

Thanks for your response DDream. Have given last chance n number of times and made fool of myself all the time.
I am confused at this situation just because of my parents.

 

Thanks for understanding Anusha2917. I already discussed about the separation but his reaction is zero. His behavior is still the same even until now.