is money everything in life???

Thanks to all for the continuous support. I was upset last whole week and finally posted here. I have read each and every response several times and the only thing that kept jumping out each time I read a post was that I needed to have clear communication with my dh.

Couple of days back, I asked him if we could talk. We put kids to bed and then sat down to talk. It was kind of funny because we are talking as though it was our first or second year of marriage. All these years the demands of married life were not much since kids were very young...no school, no schedule for anything.
DH clearly said he needs to have a proper routine set up to be peaceful.
I told him I feel really montonous and cannot work in such time frames and routines. I am staying home now for couple of months. Once kids summer vacation starts we will go for a visit to India then after we return I have to go back to work. The day gets hectic and I understand a routine is needed but sometimes I need that extra space and time to throw everything aside and get to my hobby/my art.

Dh literally wrote down every detail. I expressed my unhappiness when he grumbles if I get take-out food which sets my mood off, as though I am wasting money. I told him each and every penny need not be pinched like that. I was surprised he was in fact listening. May be he thought it was time too, to have some serious talk. Now, we have come to an agreement.

We will hire maid service once a month (dh thinks twice is expensive), for the 2nd time round of cleaning in a month it will be the two weeks after maid , he will do the garage, kids bedrooms and bathrooms while I do the kitchen, our bedroom and bathroom.
I will do the laundary for the entire family. He will do the ironing. I am incharge of our closet while he takes care of kids closet.
We will eat out every Friday both lunch and dinner. That actually helps me a lot since I want to be relaxed on Fridays.

Someother things also we worked out like he will pitch in more helping me with meals than gluing to the TV in the bedroom or his laptop. And we will eat as a family at dinner instead of each one eating at our own sweet time. He will help me after dinner and with things for next day for kids.

After reading all your posts here about my work going on sale, and how all of you said I needed to consider more from the point of view of my husband I thought over it seriously. I told dh I will try to get few things out but I need some time. He is OK with it. So many years I have never thought about it but now will give try it for the sake of keeping family happy. Though it will pain me to some extent but I think I need to set my mind to think in a positive way, to see things from a different angle.
Not yet acted on this, will give it a try! I told dh I need to talk to my teacher/my mentor about my emotions regarding the sale of my work, to vent my feelings. He threw one sarcastic remark but I insisted and he very reluctantly agreed. I find my mentor the only person whom I can actually have a heart to heart talk regarding this issue....I know it may sound weird but I don't know why? This will happen only when I go to India in the summer. For me he is the only one who understands me and my crazy emotions. I am thankful to dh for allowing me on this. I understand his annoyance whenever I talk about my teacher.

Srama: I would be glad to share my work with Ilites. Once I am ready I will surely intimate ILites first about my art being uploaded. Thanks for all your compliments

Beeamma: Yes, definately it is due to the heavy mortagage my husband is reacting like this. He told me when we had that talk yesterday. He said "look , we have kids, this house and our future. I know you are also working hard but when we can secure more why not?? I don't want to hurt you but take your time and think over it".
DH is very practical nut. I find his apprehensions quite baselses........but thats my thought process!! We are two opposites when it comes to finances.

Lakvishy: I understand your sentiments of putting family before art. But I am sorry I cannot put anything before my art. But then it is only ME.
I can take whatever to keep my passion alive. And that is why even after some rude remarks from dh, which were a result of his frustration as I completely neglected housekeeping in the recent months as I was working on a piece of art that my Guru/teacher in India was planning on. I did not have much time and had to put in all my effort. This original post of mine was also to get opinions/advise from a 3rd person. And I am glad I did and got some valuable suggestions.

ajain: I spoke to dh couple of days back and as I have put it above we are trying to work around things. I know he loves me like anything and wants me to be happy. He is a person who feels secured when everything is organised and orderly. I expressed my unhappiness too about him being overly meticulous. We have kind of brought our issues to the table and trying to work on it. I think I need to also mellow down a little.....only for him.It is funny we are talking all this after so many years of marriage.
Yes, my husband knew about my passion before marriage. He infact admired that talent in me but never realized then how it will be living with such a crazy woman.:spin

Priya: As always your post shows so much maturity and encouragement. My current job benefits my family financially better than an art job....that is exactly why I have stepped into area other than my passion.
So many of my friends, coworkers have asked me to teach their children and I am thinking over that option too. I need to set things in the home front more stable, organized to start something like that. I would love to teach especially children but do not want to fumble later because of my disorderliness. So, might consider in near future. Dh seems to like the idea too but I cautioned him as to how much of his help would then be needed.
We both are working out other things first. Hope to get through our recent unrest.

Anasuya: Very well said!! People have a long way to go before they accept this:
"Just because they're wife and mothers doesn't mean their entire being is subsumed into the family, and they're meant to become domestic automatons."


Thanks to all. I have learned so much through different perspectives.