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Is marriage really worth it?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ivanhoe, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    Where did you get the statistic that most married couples are unhappy?

    I think you offer a great solution for men. Spend some good time with a girl. Jump to the next girl and to the next. The women will take care of the kids from that man and any other men they choose to be with. Then they can also care for their sisters children and the children from their daughters and the sisters daughters.
     
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  2. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    It is quite apparent when we look around that most marital relationships are not at the optimum. Hope I do not need to elaborate as it is quite patent. Maybe we are tradition bound and would not like to show what we experience in our marriage. On the other hand showing ourselves happy in our marriage maybe a compulsion dictated by so many other needs.

    It's not a solution for men alone. Men would prefer the status quo and prefer to enjoy the many benefits of patriarchy; and "marriage" is an important ingredient in this. Certainly it will not be easy for the men if you think carefully.

    Actually it is so very advantageous for women. Women get to choose and dump men. Women are no longer bound and men will need to behave to attract women. Women become more independent and self reliant and not at her husband's or inlaws mercy. Women's rights become easily achievable and a visible reality. And men can be expected to be in their best behaviour by necessity.
     
  3. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    This does not look like a solution though. Few reasons.
    1. Population will not be in control - as ofcourse brother or Mom or anyone else may not be able to convince a girl when to or when NOT to have a baby.

    2. Parenting / Disciplining - Any brother/man will be more focussed on spending time with "his girl", that he would not be able to spend time with kids. So kids may not have any "men" guidance. So, kids will soon start appearing as "burden" in every way.

    3. Financial factors - When parents or bros can not control number of kids that could materialise in their home, they eventually can not plan Finance for the "home"

    4. Home with no brothers - There would be no "paternal" support for the kids at all

    This would be like a "cult" and kids or next-generation would be more confused & insecured than decent, matured individuals (boy/girl).

    Marriages are not only for individuals, but also to build a better stable Next generation.

    I rest my case !
     
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  4. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    JustMyself, these are merely theoretical and may not be valid in actual situations. There will be some ground rules on all these matters and everyone will work on arriving at a consensus on all matters of family interest.

    There will be the required flexibility, freedom of choice and independence of every individual family member built into the system keeping in mind the overall interests of the family.

    People live in the family with an attitude of sharing and cooperation - this being its culture and this is how the children will be brought up with such values.

    Here uncles can be the male influencing factor whereas in many families the father hardly plays an active role for various reasons. There is nothing special about "paternal" support.

    The birth of kids will also be regulated even to the extent of choosing the father if need be keeping valid factors in mind. And girls will be more valued unlike in some societies. Kids too are brought up better in terms of being rounded personalities in larger families.

    Economics of scale will also benefit everyone. There will be division of labour, rotation of duties and a lot more flexibility in all matters. Blood ties being what they are will be further strengthened.
     
  5. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Jeez, this is social media people - do I have to do all the work around here? waitingsmiley
    @Ivanhoe meet @Nandita24.
    See this.
    :hide:
     
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  6. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    Uncles have to do what? I hate my sister. I don't want to live with my girl friend and my sister with sister's kids and my mom. I don't think my girl friend would like to live with them either.

    What if my girl friend has kids. Am I stuck with her kids, her sister, sisters kids, her mom?

    Sounds like a nightmare.
     
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  7. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    This is knee jerk reaction. If you really reflect on what I have said such questions will not crop up except to keep going on with fruitless arguments. In the atmosphere in which the children are brought up such issues will not be important as the family is large enough. I have nowhere mentioned about girlfriends. It's a nightmare to those that jump to hasty conclusions.
     
  8. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    Don't have anything more to offer to this thread. Good Luck with all that !!
     
  9. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    :) I think that's an open secret. Everyone knows it, but no one talks about it. Now might we hear your opinion on the subject at hand? I, for one, am still weary from my last effort at something resembling a discussion. Can't really say much when OP's response to every counter-argument amounts to I-don't-like-what-you-say-so-it-is-rubbish.
     
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Err @ivanhoe - there are women who tried this in the last century. They failed miserably. Now they have decided to stick to one guy! The matriarchy just doesn't work when the entire world is patriarchal.
     

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