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Is marriage really worth it?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ivanhoe, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    Reading the many posts it makes me wonder if we willingly spoil our chances of happiness in life by mortgaging ourselves in the name of marriage. Even marriages where the spouses get along well with each other experience a lot of ennui.

    Ofcourse, we do not see any plausible solution to this; even though many live in hopes of better conjugal relations. Others experiment like live-in etc., all of which again fall short of fulfillment of one's deepest desires.

    Ideal life would be I think live as lovers sans marriage and take it from there.
     
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  2. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Life is always with risk and we take it everyday. Street food is bad yet we eat it regularly, there are accidents yet we drive, travel, there is no guarantee for employment, yet we go to work, investments we make may turn sour yet we continue to invest. So marriage also has its own risk. Yet if you consider horrible or worst marriages as a percentage of total marriages, it will end up in the same percentage of other risks as well.

    Marriages will have its up and down. But life without marriage becomes meaningless and lonely as one gets old. The so called friends and relatives also get busy with their kids so there is no one to give company.
     
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  3. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes I agree that life is full of risks. But a marriage is a lot different. There is very little maneuvering capacity or freedom unlike in all other cases. And getting out of it without the trauma to all concerned and other loved ones is just not easy. After all this is about matters of the heart.

    And if marriages were not there maybe we would invent newer ways of keeping happier company. The problem is we just don't want to allow this to happen; god knows for whatever reason.
     
  4. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    It's very gratifying to note that most agree that marriage is really not worth it. However those that still swear by marriage here is something to read.

    In the film PK (to be released on 19th Dec. 2014) has a song titled "Love is a waste of time". I think 'love' should have been substituted with 'marriage' instead.
     
  5. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    There are really good and successful marriages too.... Grass is always greener on other side ...
     
  6. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    It depends on individual experiences and perceptions. Marriage gave me my best friend in form of my DH. I am sure there may be many others like me echoing the same sentiments. All relationships require adjustments and nurturing. But that doesnt mean marriage as an institution itself is bad. Its a sacred tie...
     
  7. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    It is not so much about marriage, it is about relationships. Even if the relationship ends in a divorce/split up (and it is very painful) there are also good moments from that. (Not talking now about totally abusive relationships). It does not matter if you have said yes to the priest (or whatever rituals there have been), marriage is mainly some legalities. The major thing is the relationship. It is as painful to split up from a live-in/lover relationship, only less legal formalities.
     
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  8. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    Nice post.


    Let me think out aloud:



    Living as lover sans marriage. What is the difference? That you can separate without a legal procedure? Does that give you happiness?


    What about the insecurity when you see your lover spend time with someone else?









    Is getting out of love, any less traumatic as compared to getting out of marriage?







    Who are the most? Those who are married? Those who are married probably say that its not worth it. But those who are not married, do they know any better? Can they vouch that their life has been worth it because they didn't get married.






    To sum up all of my answers, whether you are married or not, unless you end up in adverse circumstances, at the end of your life, you will always conclude that the path you took was worth it. Its up to you to choose your path and let me tell you, it will be worth it.
     
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  9. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    I believe marriages are to be individual preferences. If you want to make compromises to share your life and love with additional people other than you, then Yes, marriage is for you (and the other person). Love and happiness multiplies when it is shared !!
    Marriage is heaven when both individuals make the necessary compromises (if and where needed) and reap the benefits !

    This concept of "compromise - if and where needed" has to be aimed and understood by both individuals. Marriage becomes a living hell if one person makes all the compromises and the other half reaps the benefits !

    Just because there is a remote possibility of a marriage failing, if someone chooses not to even attempt, would make them Losers ! Well, marriages are definitely not for such individuals.

    Marriages are for the brave individuals who are ready to swim the unknown waters, knowing there is every possibility of it failing ! It is for those individuals who have the guts to have faith in the other individual to extend their support as well.

    That is what I believe in :)
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Marriage is totally worth it for the people for whom it worked.

    MArriage is totally useless for people who had bad experiences.

    IT depends on your perspective and how you worked towards it and how things shaped up for you.Also marriage is nothing but a form of security in the form of a partner who is willing to be your friend and stand by you through any pain and gain.A SUPPORT SYSTEM.How many gets such a partner and how many is willing to be such a partner?

    Ahy relationship is totally overrated though.at the end of the day,it is only you for yourself.
     

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