Is marriage important?

The context of the question has a significance when answering are discussing the queation 'is marriage important'?

In western societies, which are changing, marriage is not necessary - they can cohabit, produce kids, manage finances independantly, have less relations with parents and inlaws, societal traditions take a back seat, new rules of society are promugulated. then there are gay marriages, lesbian marriages, interracial, international marriages, also 85 yrs old marrying a 18yrs old girl and 70 yrs lady marrying a 35 yr old guy etc.

In africa or else where, there are different cultural norms and societal acceptances of marriages

In india,
especially for south indian, middle class families marriage is necessary. our family values and societal norms are so strong that we cannot think life outside of marriage. Though joint family system is now extinct, we still continue to live with MIL and FIL. As of now, it appears advantageous to working couple with kids like me. some of us also live independantly with inlaws living nearby. gradually inlaws living in the same house becomes extinct like joint family system and then nuclear family system takes overall norm. Probably after 30-50 years, after 1-2 generations, we will catch up with the western norms of today.

 

Thanks Shilpama , yes I should have put in SOME before men ! :hide:

Personally I am least bothered about what other people think about bad marriages. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.
Thank God there are happily married people reading about the plight of unhappily married females and offering advise.:bowdown

It takes just one second to break the baubble of a rosy marriage. One partner may think that he/ she is the perfect partner while the spouse may have different views.

It takes all kinds to make the world. :crazy

Back to the topic -
Women marry for security and companionship and of course kids.
Men marry for different reasons including kids , companionship in old age and a wife to turn the house into a home .
And no marriage is not important , I have seen happy singles and unhappy married people . Unmarried , single do people survive .

P S -I am happy and married ! :thumbsup

 

We all have to understand that everyone posts / suggests based on the kind of experiences they had. If all my friends and relatives are having super duper good marriages and If I read some horrific stories on our forum, I sure would be baffled and surprised..sometimes I may not beleive too...sometime I want to emphasize that YES just like bad marriages exist, there are super good marriages too.. So I appreciate if we all accept this and let everyone participate in the discussion and try to see others perspective also. No need to get offended if someone says they havent seen bad marriages or they havent met anyone who had good marriages or if someone says there is no concept like good marriages. As I said in my earlier post, this world is a mix of everything. If we dont see bad, how do we know something is good? and we dont see good or if we dont know that good also exists how can we expect and look forward for good in marriage?so lets welcome everyones point of view and discuss from various perspectives. It would help in understanding the various aspects.

 

IMO, marriage is a companionship. What kind of companionship we get is our destiny?
I met couple of ladies, mother (X) and daughter(Y) few weeks ago at a friends place and later came to know that X is Y's step mother. Y's mother passed away when she was doing her bachelor's and her dad married 'X'. Y was not happy for n number of years for her dad's decision. Y's MIL also passed away long time ago and now when she sees her FIL who feels very alone at this old age, she understands her father's decision and is happy for her father. So all of us do need a companion in our life and marriage is a way for long lasting companionship.

God says, Respect thou father and mother and this is applicable to both son and daughter. Not all husbands demand their wives to forget her parents after marriage. There are bad son-in-laws and also good son-in-laws just like there are bad dil's and good dil's.
Just like parents have certain responsibilities towards children, children have certain responsibilities towards their parents. Fulfilling these responsibilities for parents and children depend upon circumstances and various reasons. So yes, woman and man have equal responsibilities towards their parents and to me a woman or man abandoning their parents in the name of marriage is just in-human.
Love cannot be compared across the relationships. Love is just expressed differently in different relationships. If each of us understand our responsibilities towards these relationships then priorities do not come into picture.

Education does not provide enlightenment, it gives knowledge (to earn money considering most of the poeple these days). A person does not have to go to school to learn to behave like a human. So to answer your question, if an educated person behaves inhuman then there is a saying for such poeple: "An uneducated dobhi is better than an educated man".

Yes, marriage is important in ones life but is not required in everybody's life because each individual has different perspective towards life. Just because a woman or man decides to live rest of their lives as spinster or bachelor respectively does not mean they are not leading a normal and happy life.
Married life is happy and meaningful as long as the Marriage is not turned up side down.

 

Wrong Companion???
Believe me, I have lived with the "Worst Companion". Took about 7 years to realize what I was going through, what I really deserved and moved away from such companion for the safety of me and my family. I now find peace and happiness. There are things I am still struggling to get out of (like the financial debts he put me into), but I believe I chose the right path and as long as I keep choosing the right path I will not be a failure as human being.
My instinct for past 7 years told me that I am with wrong person, but I tried my best to make things right. It did not work out. So I moved away hoping for a better life. I have two choices. Either stay in relationship and blame my destiny till the end of my life. Walk out and redefine my own destiny and I know I have a chance.
You use your knowledge to do the right thing always. You would have heard of this before but just want to mention it again. You always come across two paths in your life: a. Right b. Wrong. If you take the Right path, there are always hurdles initially but at the end there is success. But if you take the Wrong path, it's an easy way to the end, but towards the end there is grieve.