Is marriage important?

Really whats happening with our members here, why cant we have a simple healthy discussion without taking things personally and not attacking each other, cant we do that??

 

When you have "man"kind unilaterally put down, what do you expect? An acceptance that all men are evil, and it is the woman who is always the victim? Some of the members need to get out more in the real world, and realize that men suffer as much too. IL is a microcosm, and by its very nature it will highlight more of women's issues, that does not mean members can trample and label "Man"kind as the Evil.

 

I will have to keep a list of all gems like this :rotfl
Like I wrote in post#21 of this thread, maybe laughter is the best medicine when lunacy rages all around.

 

Can we say we have all kinds of people around? We have seen bad husbands, bad wives, bad MILs, Bad DILs. So why fight over and try to make a point?

Yes not all men expect housekeeping, but there are some who are just bentupon harrassing their wives and commenting they are not good housekeepers or that they are not good moms.

There are women who are not satisfied no matter how much tehir husband or inlaws adjust.

This world is full of different kinds of people, instead of discussing where the problem resides why make it personal and get offended. By the way YES everyone speaks out of their experiences...IF I have a good experience, doesnt mean everyone will agree with me or vice versa. So lets move on discussing in a positive way, rather than trying to get to each other or making others to accept our point. Let everyone have their own opinion, however give pointers and suggestions on the other side of the coin without attacking each other. Let our other posters participate without making threads a reason to fightover.

PS: After this anymore personal one on ones would be moderated

 

Not all men are same..my DH has been a Mom's boy(never did much around the house while growing up)....however, after we got married he does things so well..my MIL is awe struck..it is a different story how well i groomed him :biglaugh:hide:

 

In my family, my father does half of the household chores even now.... he loves cooking infact as far i remember from the time of my childhood my father used to cook on weekends. I have seen friends around me also whose husbands are an excellent housekeepers if not anything atleast they know to cook a meal or two and help around the house (definitely loading the dishwasher atleast). Ofcourse my DH does more than all of them.......he is a better housekeeper than I am.... LOL:rotfl

Not all men are evil and not all women are saints.

 

Coming back to the discussion of is marriage important???

For me Marriage is for companionship...for making someone part of our life and share the good and bad, ups and downs, have someone to lean on, someone to guide us when we need direction, someone to understand and empathize with us even when we are wrong, someone to put us on right track when we are loosing our path, someone to love and to be loved (all this applies to both husband and wife) to understand and to be understood.

Marriage is a partnership...I want my spouse to chipin where I lack and I would chip in where he cant handle things...so that we bring out the best in each other and make the most and best out of any situation at hand..and the life itself...

but if any of those above are not satisifed and if it becomes more of giving than receiving...then that marriage has to be evaluated. Both wife and husband has to have their respective limits on how much they can give and how much they can expect..anytime expectations go high...or the % of giving goes high...the imbalance surely shows its symptoms on the marriage....My observation so far has been If a man/woman know what they want out of their marriage..they always got it...but those spouses who didnt have a set frame of expectations on what can marriage may/may not offer has been having/giving trouble to their spouses as they themselves dont know what they want!!! The moment we define what we want and share it with our spouse..we always get it ...however if the spouse doesnt define their own needs..there is always a tug of war!!!

 

Wow SriVidya......very well said. :thumbsup

 

Ranchu, am not generalising on any concept,I'm not accusing anyone for posting a rosy image, its infact needed to keep a balance on forum & yes a moral boost that good things do happen...

Agreed to Srividya's post that there are all kinds of Men and women & one cant generalise a good behaviour or bad behaviour to caste/culture/sex etc etc...........

However in the past and today I have witnessed divorces on ground of infertility, poor housekeeping and dissatisfied parents under "irreconcilable differences" . Also I've seen good marriages and hence can differentiate what is good and what is bad and that all concepts of marriage do exist.