Is It Wrong Being A Sati Savitri

Hi ladies , I got married 8 years ago. I had to slow down on my career coz his career was more imp. That is what everybody told me . Like a good wife...coz I saw my mom doing things for my family..I started making small small sacrifices but in my family people recognized the importance of my mom. I had an opportunity to travel outside of India through my company..I was doing extremely well there..But my husband decided to move to US coz his company sponsored him...I had to leave my job.... initial days were good.... But his behaviour changed when he used to see me lying downand sleeping in cold whether and he had to go to office.. he became violent at times...after some months ..I picked up a job....But it became too much coz I had to come home and do the household chores and he used to sit and watch tv. It was getting too much for me....then his parents came and his mom turned him against me... then we had a baby...I had to quit my job coz his mom said that she will not help.. I took care of the baby and then started working again...But it was getting difficult coz the kid needed me and I didn't want to trust the day cares.when I was working my husband ...I used to leave my daughter with my mom...my husband used to say that I go to office to enjoy and party...I don't go there to work...he started putting blames on me that I am having an extra marital affair and I am becoming arrogant coz I am earning a good salary. At home there were these problems and at work there was a different level of politics and I could not manage and one fine day I decided to quit. I became a stay at home mom but honestly..I am not a person who would love sitting at home..But still I tried to tel myself that I will enjoy no matter what.. I started enjoying time with my kid...Now he has a problem that I am sitting at home and the whole day all that I do is sit and eat..I am getting depressed..i never had to beg money from anyone earlier...Now even for a small thing...I have to ask him to give me money and he would show attitude and the give money..I have become a beggar....he is hardly at home...he doesn't show any interest in home activities ..I am the one doing everything indeoendantlya nd every time I tell him that he should be equally involved in house activities.. he tells me that for him work is more imp coz he needs to make sure that all the expenses are met...he is hardly at home...half the time he is travelling and when he is not travelling he is busy with his friends...I am in my mind 30's and it is so difficult to get back to work again but this is just not what I wanted in life..he travels..goes to the best of restaurants...enjoys his life while I sit back and take care of the kid..I also like going to fancy restaurants but I don't have the money....I like buying clothes for my self but he gives me just enough to manage grocery...I wish I had a bf and I would have gone out with him to diff places but alas I am just a stay at home mom...

 

Hi... thanks for writing in. You know what..every weekend I tell him that we should go out...h doesn't go out coz he says that he was working the whole week and he is too tired and he wants rest. Or sometimes he would just open his laptop and get busy with office work. Every time I ask him to go out...he says that he has some pending office work that needs to be submitted...he will just find reasons to not go out coz he knows that if we will go out..he will have to spend money and he just prefers to order food from outside to keep my mouth shut.

 

Yeah I am just trying to find ways to earn and move out of the house.I am just looking for part time work coz Parents are not here..can't afford day cares...he is travelling mostly...he is out for a month..no one would be there...he would be having a good time..I'll be here managing in the little money that he gives me..when I ask him for more money he says that I am greedy of money and I am always asking for money..but yeah I know it is so imp to earn and be self dependant.

 

All the money that I had earned earlier...we used that in buying a house...I don't have anything left...my husband has a lot of savings in his name..he keeps investing but if you ask me..the little that I had..we used that in buying a house...the situation was such that he asked me if I would like to pitch in and I willingly did it.

 

All the money that I had earned earlier...we used that in buying a house...I don't have anything left...my husband has a lot of savings in his name..he keeps investing but if you ask me..the little that I had..we used that in buying a house...the situation was such that he asked me if I would like to pitch in and I willingly did it.

 

Hi Deborah....Yeah I need to work but I am thinking of al the possible ways to manage my kid and job..coz the day I will pick up a job after some time..they will start making me feel guilty ..they will start telling me that I leave the kid in a day care...I go out a nd enjoy my self in the office..I have no care for the kid....I am a bad mom and then my husband will be extra sweet and will try and put it in my head every day that he is earning good and I should not have to worry about earning..we will live in what we have ....we don't have to die just to warn money...be happy and content with what we have and all the non sense..there were days when he used to hide my car keys, my laptop and I used to keep searching for it and every day because of something or the other I used to get late and in office I used to get my money deducted for coming late and one fine day I gave up and he was happy ..and I am sure he will do the same...and I am not even sure at this age after so much of gap..I will get a good job