Is it worth talking about to hubby? Confused & shocked!

Dear deepshikha,

This is very common at least in my house. My MIL always talks with two tongues. So don't get upset about it but when you get time you just tell your husband the information, which you got from your MIL but don’t talk single word more than that..
But my husband, he just ignores and never bothers for it. So just it easy. But one important thing, since she got this habit, when she is talking you just in general about other relatives and if you express something right or wrong then definitely she would change the color of the word’s which you expressed and tell the other party. So you be very cautious about what you talk with her.
Why she did-Simple they will have some kind of insecurity where you will stop your husband to support them in terms of money or whatever and at least my MIL is very happy if we have fights.
Good that you didn't talk something back to her.If you would have talked something then she would go and tell to your husband that your wife said these things.
If you know some misunderstanding going on between you and your husband, when your husband in office call him and clear it or send him an email. Typically men don't understand and don't bother about these because they don’t face these.
These people are simple family politicians and you need to just careful when dealing but don't worry too much on this.


Take Care.

Definilty you need to tell him again as you mentioned not in complain mode.But don't get upset,she didn't do anything to you just she did because she is in MIL position and she has her fears.

 

Deepshikha, First of all I wudnt trust a MIL who tells her DIL after only 4 months of marriage about marriage expenses.You need a level of comfort to even talk about such things with In laws or for that matter Daughter in law.Forget the fact that it was your husband or in laws spending ,thats entirely another issue.Its a wise thing you did ,not to discuss it with your husband immediately then. It wud have rocked the foundation of your marriage a little bit.
This thing your MIL told you shud be a warning to you as to her nature. She told you before wedding that your husband will be spending money on the marriage and turned her own words after. Of course this is the same tactic used to MIL 's or IL's in general in India.She wanted to get away feeling great and hence might be forceful. My FIL did the same to thing to me once on the fone. He mentioned I am freeloading off his son doing nothing, in my husband's absence. When my husband asked him he point blank refused telling that.If your marriage is doing great dont mention this to your husband or MIL and keep it to yourself.Even if you tell your husband he might not believe it at first .You can wait till you MIL comes and see how she behaves with you and your husband . If you have some heated times in her presence,do mention it to your husband when your husband himself is annoyed due to this or after she leaves.Good Luck.

 

Since you've led a married life with your DH for 2.5 years, always give him the benefit of doubt. No matter what your MIL says, and especially now that you know she has misled you in the past, don't cloud your mind in suspicions and doubts with what she tells you.



If you really need to ask about something she said, just casually ask your DH without hurting him.



All the best

 

This is a "he said this" and "she said that" kind of issue - we should not try to probe into anything unless we have concrete evidence. In this case, it might be the case that your husband or your MIL may be correct, but you have no way of knowing. If I don't have full information on anything I would like to err on the positive side and that I advice to my wife too. Please consider people that matter to you (your husband) in a positive sense unless you have concrete evidence to otherwise - in this case you don't have.

Moreover so far as your husband is treating you well in other aspects and so far as you both have love and affection - this thing should not be considered an issue. You may as well ignore it.

And lastly don't use indirect statements. If it is very important for you that you need to find out who is correct, why don't you plainly tell your husband what his mother told about the expense. Put it as casually as you can, and that you are just intrigued and that you don't consider who paid for the marriage as an issue at all. But then still you have to believe whatever your husband will say - as you have no other way to find who is correct. But does it matter??

 

Hi,

When you have now come to know about ur MIL's character, try to ignore her when she begins to talk about money matters.

Just take light.

All the best.

 

From what you said, your MIL lied to you about your DH 4 mon into your marriage... and you came to know your DH's version only a week ago???

Why couldn't you just ask your DH after your MIL made those comments??

No matter what your MIL tells you or your DH, it will not affect your relationship as long as you and your DH have strong communication and trust between each other.