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Is it okay if husband enjoys while wife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by angelindreams, Jul 2, 2012.

  1. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    thats so mean. afterall she is carrying his child too. i feel strongly about such things. i think he is being insensitive. hope he maintains the same attitude when roles maybe reversed due to any cause in the future.
     
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  2. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    Poor lady. I somehow can't appreciate boys /men who do this. Wifey pregnant and they plan trips and outings with near and dear. Man !! These movies/outings can be planned again .Since her friend is not a person who will stop him from meeting his friends . His cousins/friends/colleagues wont go anywhere or vanish from earth's atmosphere. Movies will always be there. But his wife's first pregnancy won't come again. I feel Op's friend should go out for damn good vacation with her friends when the time is right after delivery leaving kid in her husbands hands. No one should help him at that time. Neither his mom or her mom. He should manage all alone. Then I am sure he will know the pain. And I somehow don't like the word men are "learning" to take responsibilities or they dont know how to take responsibilities . Common !! their respective wives did not work as bai from childhood to know and understand household responsibilities . They were treated as princess at their home just as the man was treated as prince at his home . Sometimes men are soo rude !! They dont deserve what they are getting.
     
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  3. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    this happened to someone i know too. her hubby used to be very irresponsible and dint bother much about her during her pregnancy. he used to go out with his bachlor frnds all the time.

    then after sometime his frndgot married and his wife got preggy. and at that time this frnd refused to go on trips or to bars since he was a devoted hubby and din wanna leave his wife alone during her pregnancy.

    hope atleast then he realised what he did was totally insensitive.
     
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  4. falgunid18

    falgunid18 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    I second, the only differnce being -- Do not let her DH get even close to the child for those many days he was not around when his wife was pregnant with his own child.

    How can ppl be so selfish. uhhh :rant:rant:rant

    Your frnd needs all love care and attention now which only her Dh can fulfill.

    Anyway, I just want to add that, -- ask ur frnds mom to leave them and go at her own palce for a weekend. Atleast this way, the DH will have to stay with his wife looking after her. .
     
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  5. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    Gals cut some slack please. OP mentioned that they had an active outgoing lifestyle earlier too and that her friend used to keep herself busy when he was out with friends. Being a guy he will not realize how it is any different than that time when she kept herself busy, plus as her mother is there, he must be feeling that she is in able and trusty hands so why worry.

    Pregnancy hormones do create havoc with the mind plus she is on bedrest which is pretty unlike her and hence it is making her more tense and overreacting. Ask your friend to keep her mind busy with some hobby perhaps, painting, crochet.embroidery or other craft ideas, something that she can sit in bed and do. It will keep her mind fresh and make her feel that she is doing something worthwhile and not just sitting in bed idle. you can tell her to join IL. She can make plenty of friends here, can vent out too if she feels like. Instead of nagging him as to how he is not spending time when he needs her, she can plan something in advance, she can just call him in office and ask him to be home in the evenign as she wants to watch "so n so movie" with him. Just my 2 cents.
     
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  6. KavithaUS

    KavithaUS Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    I was on strict bedrest too with no help from mom or frnds. My husband takes the responsibility to care for me and my toddler although she goes to daycare fulltime. I am currently on modified bedrest (38 week preg). I can manage my toddler when she is at home on weekends/evening with no help.

    I let my husband enjoy his timeoff to make sure he comes out of 'caretaker' mode atleast during weekends. I let him do what makes him happy. He plays cricket entire saturday and 4 hours on sunday (rest of sunday he goes to grocery shopping). Other times when weather does not permit for cricket, he goes out on guys party or to a library to read his favorite novel peacefully. I always make sure that he gets his alone time.

    the point I am trying to make is - let the guy have fun too, but not at the cost of your health. have her mom go out for few hours daily (its good for her too). Have your husband in those hours..open up old albums and go over photos discussing about them. I can totally relate to your frnd , being on strict bedrest is no fun.
     
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  7. digezt

    digezt Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?


    Eitherway Men again become Bachelors in absentia....:rotfl
     
  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    I thought you meant if science progresses (?) enough for men to have babies. :)
     
  9. Confused211

    Confused211 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    Does he like spending time with her mother? He may not hate her but may not be comfortable with her a whole lot. For instance, my husband has nothing against my mother as far as I know but he finds it very difficult to carry on a conversation with her, because there aren't many common topics. Now, they just talk about our daughter. I completely disagree with the thought that "boys will be boys" but boys are not taught to accommodate others' needs into their lives, in our culture. Nor to take care of themselves, much less of someone else. Sounds like he's running from her mother or balking at his responsibilities or just plain thinking that as the responsibility is being taken care of by MIL, he doesn't have to change anything about himself.

    How was he before her mother came? Insensitive? Solicitous? Why is her mother there anyway? Not that the mother doesn't have a right to be there but he should be taking care of his wife himself instead of relying on her mother to do so. Then, when he wants the few hours away, she'll be only too happy because she may want him out of her hair for a bit too.

    How far along is she?
     
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  10. angelindreams

    angelindreams Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

    Yeah she said same . I will go to some place and enjoy myself leaving him alone . She said that in frustration ofcourse :bonk Yeah as you said her first pregnancy which is passing now will never ever come again :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2012

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