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Is It Normal To Hate Someone That Much?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Needtobestrong, Mar 26, 2021.

  1. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    :confused: I dont get his fondness.. looks like either he is FULL of insecurity that he and his family are below them ( again only money counts right?) or he is just kukoo (sorry!).
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for understanding the situation...
    Yes what you said is right...
    She outsources everything and is a Superwoman..I do all without help and I myself considered useless...
    Once upon a time i too was working and earning decent salary and had good career ahead of me...
    I too could arrange a part time cook at nd maid for all chores that time when I had a job...
    But due to many reason and like major health problem, childbirth and related complications, and Covid pandemic, I have had a huge career gap.
    I was looking forward to getting vaccinated and pandemic easing out, so i could get employment and I could live the comfortable kind of lifestyle she is living now...
    But now second wave Of Covid started, job market is not great, no luck in getting
    employment, not safe for kids and adults to step out even for urgencies,
    So I m unable to get health related very treatment properly or have luck in getting job.
    Meanwhile, this female, I.e This cousin, is still working and earning good and keeping posting pics of all dishes which she prepared ...Madam still has a live in fulltime helper, no in-laws living with her as they couldn’t travel due to pandemic, working from home comfortably..enjoying life..don’t know what the big deal is..I too know how to cook all these dishes,,.but difference is I need to cut vegetables, Cook , and clean up vessels and kitchen later..but that Madam will make her helper to cut veggies and grind necessary masalas and batters, She will just cook and keep everything in decorative cookwares and click pics and post,,,land her helper will clean up vessels and kitchen...but she will get all appreciation, no one will mention me...
    She has lot of free time doesn’t know what to do with it..
    She just keeps showing off so much, putting pics of dishes every week...and my in laws make overly appreciative comments...
    Right now I’m already having enough problems, this gets on my nerves ..
     
  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks to all of you, I am slowly trying to reduce negative thoughts and bringing down my feelings of hatred...I’m trying to keep myself so occupied I don’t spare thoughts for her and detached from that female..just random incidents which irritate me and I try to deal with it...but truth is I cannot like her as a sister, and will continue to have some residual feeling of dislike for her..
     
  4. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @Needtobestrong Try to not to dislike her because she isn't harming your life or others and she is just enjoying her life fully. The main problem of you is your in-laws, your husband and they need to change. They have look the reality and need to stop comparisons and etc.
     
  5. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    There are enough people out there with the motto of claiming others work as theirs. Esp in IT/Sales mangement.
    'Oh this is a great idea, so this is now my idea'.

    Remember every second you think about her is every second of your life wasted not hers.

    The onus is upon you how you deal with it. Whatever everybody else is doing is irrelavent. You are in a major smoke that yoir inlaws created and you are fueling it religiously. It takes just one moment of realisation and there is no smoke. I hope this moment is just around the corner.
     
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  6. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    You are the heroine of your life. Others are just side actors, yes even your husband, in-laws are just side characters. Make yourself the priority, try to do the things that make you truly happy.. If others are trying to make that cousin a heroine in your life, you don’t have to fall for that trap. Shift your focus to yourself and your mental peace.

    Find things that make you truly happy... You may say that all you do is cook for your in-laws and husband. If that’s what do you now, make the most out of it. Take photos of your creation and post it on Instagram if that makes you happy.. Be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself ( in whatever way you can) Have a spa day at home.. Arrange a zoom meeting with your close friends to whom you can be yourself. Try to do some online course ( anything you like or help with job later) so that you can be prepared when this COVID is over...

    Stay away from the glorifying talks of this cousin.. Don’t look at her Instagram or Facebook, block it if you can.. Look, she is she and you are you. You have your strengths and she has hers.. Just because your in-laws and husband are talking highly of her, don’t mean that she has achieved everything.. The point is make yourself the heroine of your life.. Focus on yourself and don’t waste even a second of your precious time for the thoughts that make you feel miserable.. Good luck and best wishes with everything :)
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  7. hrastro

    hrastro Finest Post Winner

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    You're still thinking only about her!! WHY?

    She is living her life... So many 1000000s live a similar life, you were also living a similar life before, what's HER Fault here?
    That she is living her life as well as she can?

    Direct your energies towards yourself and your kids and develop yourselves!
    Direct your anger towards your husband and in-laws and get them to change their behaviour!

    With your entire energy and focus directed at that poor lady who is just living her own life, you are WASTING your time, your kids time, and the time you could spend developing your own family in a much better manner!

    Every time you think of her, shake your head and remove ANY thought of her from YOUR HEAD and redirect your thoughts to better YOUR LIFE!

    Keep smiling
    HR
     
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