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Is It Normal To Hate Someone That Much?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Needtobestrong, Mar 26, 2021.

  1. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    :confused: I dont get his fondness.. looks like either he is FULL of insecurity that he and his family are below them ( again only money counts right?) or he is just kukoo (sorry!).
     
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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for understanding the situation...
    Yes what you said is right...
    She outsources everything and is a Superwoman..I do all without help and I myself considered useless...
    Once upon a time i too was working and earning decent salary and had good career ahead of me...
    I too could arrange a part time cook at nd maid for all chores that time when I had a job...
    But due to many reason and like major health problem, childbirth and related complications, and Covid pandemic, I have had a huge career gap.
    I was looking forward to getting vaccinated and pandemic easing out, so i could get employment and I could live the comfortable kind of lifestyle she is living now...
    But now second wave Of Covid started, job market is not great, no luck in getting
    employment, not safe for kids and adults to step out even for urgencies,
    So I m unable to get health related very treatment properly or have luck in getting job.
    Meanwhile, this female, I.e This cousin, is still working and earning good and keeping posting pics of all dishes which she prepared ...Madam still has a live in fulltime helper, no in-laws living with her as they couldn’t travel due to pandemic, working from home comfortably..enjoying life..don’t know what the big deal is..I too know how to cook all these dishes,,.but difference is I need to cut vegetables, Cook , and clean up vessels and kitchen later..but that Madam will make her helper to cut veggies and grind necessary masalas and batters, She will just cook and keep everything in decorative cookwares and click pics and post,,,land her helper will clean up vessels and kitchen...but she will get all appreciation, no one will mention me...
    She has lot of free time doesn’t know what to do with it..
    She just keeps showing off so much, putting pics of dishes every week...and my in laws make overly appreciative comments...
    Right now I’m already having enough problems, this gets on my nerves ..
     
  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks to all of you, I am slowly trying to reduce negative thoughts and bringing down my feelings of hatred...I’m trying to keep myself so occupied I don’t spare thoughts for her and detached from that female..just random incidents which irritate me and I try to deal with it...but truth is I cannot like her as a sister, and will continue to have some residual feeling of dislike for her..
     
  4. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @Needtobestrong Try to not to dislike her because she isn't harming your life or others and she is just enjoying her life fully. The main problem of you is your in-laws, your husband and they need to change. They have look the reality and need to stop comparisons and etc.
     
  5. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    There are enough people out there with the motto of claiming others work as theirs. Esp in IT/Sales mangement.
    'Oh this is a great idea, so this is now my idea'.

    Remember every second you think about her is every second of your life wasted not hers.

    The onus is upon you how you deal with it. Whatever everybody else is doing is irrelavent. You are in a major smoke that yoir inlaws created and you are fueling it religiously. It takes just one moment of realisation and there is no smoke. I hope this moment is just around the corner.
     
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  6. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    You are the heroine of your life. Others are just side actors, yes even your husband, in-laws are just side characters. Make yourself the priority, try to do the things that make you truly happy.. If others are trying to make that cousin a heroine in your life, you don’t have to fall for that trap. Shift your focus to yourself and your mental peace.

    Find things that make you truly happy... You may say that all you do is cook for your in-laws and husband. If that’s what do you now, make the most out of it. Take photos of your creation and post it on Instagram if that makes you happy.. Be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself ( in whatever way you can) Have a spa day at home.. Arrange a zoom meeting with your close friends to whom you can be yourself. Try to do some online course ( anything you like or help with job later) so that you can be prepared when this COVID is over...

    Stay away from the glorifying talks of this cousin.. Don’t look at her Instagram or Facebook, block it if you can.. Look, she is she and you are you. You have your strengths and she has hers.. Just because your in-laws and husband are talking highly of her, don’t mean that she has achieved everything.. The point is make yourself the heroine of your life.. Focus on yourself and don’t waste even a second of your precious time for the thoughts that make you feel miserable.. Good luck and best wishes with everything :)
     
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  7. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    You're still thinking only about her!! WHY?

    She is living her life... So many 1000000s live a similar life, you were also living a similar life before, what's HER Fault here?
    That she is living her life as well as she can?

    Direct your energies towards yourself and your kids and develop yourselves!
    Direct your anger towards your husband and in-laws and get them to change their behaviour!

    With your entire energy and focus directed at that poor lady who is just living her own life, you are WASTING your time, your kids time, and the time you could spend developing your own family in a much better manner!

    Every time you think of her, shake your head and remove ANY thought of her from YOUR HEAD and redirect your thoughts to better YOUR LIFE!

    Keep smiling
    HR
     
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  8. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    Poor you they’re doing that to manipulate you to do what they want or to break you. Don’t listen to them. You know all those things aren’t true about her. But they do that so you feel low. If they compliment her you say yeah I know she’s so nice and so is her husband and in-laws. Her father in law is so kind and her mother in law they do this that the other. She cares for her husband and her husband cares for her. You know the drill.


    Please don’t let them break you and be disheartened. They want to hurt you. Yes people are evil like that and they have so much dirt in their hearts. Stay happy and know you are a queen with a heart of an angel. Women should support each other and not break each other. They want you to be jealous of her but in reality she hasn’t don’t anything to you. It’s your husband and in-laws. Give them a taste of their own medicine and make them jealous by saying nice words about her, her husband and in-laws all on one go and be happy. It’s evident they’re jealous of you otherwise why the need to behave as such? They also sound greedy, greed for money because she married into a wealthy family, we don’t know their financial status do we, they could be drowning in debt...it’s just the image people sell about being rich...take my brother in law he claims he earns a lot...but they served us 4 day old ladyfingers when we went to their house...I fell sick...yet my mil gloats they’re so rich blah blah blah...that girl could be slim after marriage because she doesn’t get time to eat or works hard as no one helps her in her family...their are different reasons...

    you are a queen so treat yourself and be a queen...
     
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