Is it common to Feel Lonely in a Foreign country?

My thoughts exactly FC!

 

Hi Satchi,
<!--?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /-->
I was thinking of sending you a PM but then I thought of posting it right here. Before I even start, let me tell you that I enjoy being in Indusladies and I know so many people here even though we know each other virtually. This site has helped me tremendously while I had problems in my lifeJ But I am really baffled at times and can’t really think very well when some members out of nowhere come and make sarcastic comments.

Lets talk about this thread…so one person starts a thread and voices her concerns about being lonely in foreign country, which is perfectly understandable. We as fellow members can give her tips how to make friends and be happy in a foreign country or we can just talk to her through this forum why she feels like that and if there is something we can do specifically to help her out. That’s exactly what friends are for and that’s what we should try to do for each other here, right? Now this person (Ushae) comes from nowhere and starts talking absolute nonsense that people should stay back in their home countries and should not even try to go abroad and the only reason why people go abroad is because of money. My question is what is she trying to say here? Is it going to help OP in any way? Is she trying to make everyone who lives abroad feel guilty that they have left their home countries? Her message is not helping anyone.

My point is we are all adults and even if someone goes abroad for money, what is wrong in it? If a person in India grew up in a very middle class family and never had a car and wants to drive a car or wants to buy one for his/her parents, he/she decides to go abroad and make little money so he/she can offer some luxury to his/her parents, then what’s wrong in it?

If we go into a debate about it, I know there are hundred of points I can bring up to win. I am not being arrogant or proud but that’s what we all do as human beings. But what is the use? Are we helping anyone except satisfying our ego? I don’t think so. We are all adults and we are free to make our own decisions. If I am given a choice to live in India or in US, I will always choose US. But I have a friend who is a very bright person and was accepted on a full scholarship from a top school here but declined the offer to stay back in India. She didn’t stay back in India for her parents or siblings but she stayed back because she hates physical work and she can’t do without 2-3 servants. Did she make a wrong decision? May be not. She knew very well that life is tough here because we don’t get 24 hours domestic help. All her maasis and mamas are here and she travels to the US all the time but she will never settle down here. She wants her meals cooked, she wants the house to be sparklingly clean and everything done when she arrives home in the night. She knows she can afford 3-4 people to work for her in India but not in the US. To each his own.....


I mean really, if we don’t have anything pleasant or nice to say, why to come to a particular thread and spoil everyone’s mood and deviate the topic to a completely different direction (just as it happened here). Can’t we just keep quiet and not talk non-sense? Why are we so desperate to make our points? I do not always like what is being discussed in some of these threads. I read them and if I feel that I have nothing to contribute or the person who is talking has a completely different view, I walk away. Why do I have to force myself there and impose my strong opinions on her? What will I gain from that?

I think as a moderator, you should warn people not to deviate from the original topic and stay within the topic. It will save everyone’s time and energy and such baseless/useless/non-sense comments should be deleted or the users should be warned to stay within the topic and after 3-4 warnings, some strict action should be taken against them, JMO.

Thanks,
--Bubai

 

When my husband got the first internet connection ( in the city) through VSNL service in 1995 , they didn't know how to install it.

He had to figure out technical stuff and install himself. When he first started internet business in early 90s no one knew , what was his business name Indo Net services meant ...

I used to help him in his office , there were so many inquiry phone calls I had to answer , whether it was a Fish Net service ' ...........

By the time my husband realized , his business idea was not clicking with masses ...... we are into huge debts....

His friends , who were in to conventional businesses ,advised him , he is 20 years ahead of economy , he will shine if he migrates to U.S.

We left India , not only for money , but also his passion to do some thing new ...prove himself ...

I was so lonely when I first came in 90s , first thing , I did to make my self busy , getting library membership...
I buried my self in reading .....

BTW, if every one stays in country , isn't it a burden & excess workforce on Indian economy ..?
NRIs are contributing a major portion to GDP, by sacrificing the comfort of living in India...

Please don't discourage , when people seek advise give some constructive advise...

 

Dear Bubai,

 

a classic way to wipe away boredom......good narration....

 

Thanks Satchi for explaining this so well. I got it

 

Thanks Bubai.

 

Hi,
i totally agree. Having living abroad and having had to move countires has been a hell. I too hve acquaintances but no true friends. maybe it is the place i am living. not sure. i have not worked but previously had be working in another country. however while i was working i wasn't happy as well becauase of lots of problems with mil, bil, sil etc having moved country has however rendered that problem being overcome however lost job, and since i have no friends here and my dh is very quiet i am still in the same situation. somehow managing with kids and culture shock is to make their toll as well/ u should be aware of the culture shock ur kids will be giving compared to those in india. have to adjust a nd no other way. bit depressing but have no choice

 

Akila, i can understand your position, sometimes i feel that one should be fortunate to have good friends in life. I am not and i have been living in a area where you have lots of indians and culture is also pretty okay here. But Unfortunately I have never ever had a neighbour who will atleast say a hello or a friend whom I can talk to. all my friends who came here have returned to india. I am not a great driver too. Life gets irritating for me at times. but I just manage it somehow. My DD is my huge and biggest blessing in my life. She is my saviour now. Gives my life a purpose and makes it fun too. I have learnt to find my happiness through her.

Just concentrate on your kids and give them all your love and attention. Slowly things will get better.

best wishes to you dear !

 

luv2smile,
*same pinch".Except that the only indians I get to see are my husband and my daughter!