Is it common to Feel Lonely in a Foreign country?

Oh, the typical attitude of a person who hates NRIs! Well, maybe this is why a lot of Indians dont want to come back - to nosy neighbors/relatives with the holier than thou attitude, and who judge people in a 5-minute conversation, not even knowing a bit of what the other person has gone through!

 

OK friends, let us get back on track again before we get into one more free for all on this thread. This thread is not about the merits or demerits of the choice to settle down abroad. Let us stick to OP's original question.

 

Satchi,
Sorry for taking it on a different track! When millions of Indians live abroad, and take the name of the country to a global high, such insensitive rude comments about NRIs does hurt!

 

Preeti,

Most of my adult life, I am living in abroad. Came to live as 'new bride' and very dependent on my DH. Hardly, spoke any English and scared to drive on the road (God, all those traffic was targeting my car!).

Took it as an opportunity to grow in life and to become independent. Now, I travel alone, if my work requires and conduct business in a professional manner.

I try to keep myself busy, as much as possible. Regularly, make plans to meet with friends and travel as a group to visit places. Participate in temple religious events, and cultural events. Once in few years, all of our friends attend Fetna event, and met most cinema figures in that events (have my pictures taken with them).

I like to watch all sort of Indian movies (telugu, malayalm, hindi, engish, tamil). Every 'mokkai' cinema in last 25-years, you just name it, I am sure, I watched it. Subscribed to magazines and also, to the Tamil on-line magazines. I like to keep up with world events and news.

I am a crazy reader and spend money/time on books. Mostly, motivational, self improvement, psychological and spiritual related books. For fun, I like to learn more about aliens/UFOs and suspense/mystery TV shows/movies.

 

Satchi,

I know exactly what is being discussed and I will try to remain focussed in the topic.

Ushae,

You are someone who has never been outside the well and you think that THIS WELL IS MY WORLD! Wake up, NRIs don't always leave their home countries because of money. My husband is THE prefect example. He is an oncologist. Doctors are the highest paying professionals in the US. A good oncologist in a private setting on an average makes half a million dollar a year, which is $41,000 a month (without taxes). It is 20 lakhs per month. But my husband is in an academic setting and he works in the best cancer hospital in the world. You can google and find the name of the cancer center and because he does not see patients every single day of the week (he has clinics to see patients only 3 days a week), he makes much less than an oncologist who is in private practice. He spends a lot of time in research. This research is about clinical trials, the new drugs, the reactions of these drugs on the patients and many more stuff. He is very very content with what he does. He has made a big name for himself but hasn't made a lot of money. I still consider us as a middle class family in the US. Most of the hospitals in the world try the medicines after some of these doctors in his hospital give their "yes". They are the TOP doctors in the US. What do you think about all this? Is it money? No, it is NOT money. They are here working for these top hospitals because they want to make a difference in the field of cancer. They are more concerned for fame than money. My husband will go back to India anyday if he has the same facilities in India that he has here. Do you think that is possible? NO.

DO NOT generalize people because people come here for many many reasons. Don't be a frog in the well. I really feel sorry for people like you.

 

Please dont judge other people's circumstances, people go abraod for many reasons. Once they are abraod they will also have ups and downs, challenges like anywhere in the world. Loneliness is one of the challenge for people who left home country and living abraod, challenges could be anything for anybody in this world. dont corner the people for that. For you it is one type of challenge, for others it is different. try to understand the problem being in others shoes, it could be YOU one day facing same problem of loneliness. please step forward only if you can give positive advise and encouragement for follow being.

SK.

 

I said most of the people but not all.

Yes in 70s and 80s people from IITs,IIS and having higher professional qualification went to US,Europe for better carrer and even for higher education.

Now after the IT era 99% of the guys going to US/Europe for money and not for any carrer upliftment or job satisfaction.

See the queue standing in the US consulate or ask the people working in IT companies longing for on site assignments. You will get the answer.

It is hard truth. How many people in US will be ready to continue there if there is no financial benefit but on with mere job satisfaction.

By the way I have been in atleast more than 3 countries outside India

 

ushae,

Returning to India is wise decision made on your part, and I am happy for you.

More than one time, you also stood in the consulate line for your own benefits and had a chance to visit
3-differnt countries on your 'company expenses'.

Why it is bothering you when someone else is standing in consulate line to get their visa? Why don't you think,
it is their choice to visit or stay in abroad? It doesn't look like a mindset of person who voluntarily
returned to India, it rather sound like forced to leave the country of residence (bitter experience?).

 

Well said.