Is it common to Feel Lonely in a Foreign country?

Hi Preethi,

All of what you have said is quite common. It is not at all unusual. Things can get difficult if there are not too many social or emotional outlets when one is abroad.

Do you have any options of pursuing some interests outdoors - like going to a gym, doing some courses at a local university and working on getting more qualified in any field of your interest, joining some hobby classes etc.? That will give you a chance to connect with people outside the virtual world and develop new contacts with similar interests.

Does your visa allow you to work? If not, do you have any other hobbies like cooking, sewing, jewellery making etc. so you could do something like that from home and use your skill as a source of income?

I think the key is to develop contacts through outdoor activities, so you will feel more involved, meet people from different cultures and learn about their way of life and exchange ideas. That will give you something really interesting beyond the daily humdrum of life to look forward to.

 

Yes Preethi..Its more common than you think. I hear you about having loads of acquaintances and not real friends. Its a phase and it will surely pass. Meeting people of the right wavelength and nurturing those friendships take time. I am sure you will find good friends. Have faith!

 

Yes Preethi, I can absolutely understand this. I just asked because I did not know your situation. :-D

 

Preethi, I was abroad for four and a half years but in a completely different situation.

Firstly I was there as a student. Secondly I was in a big city - London - where I had a lot of contacts like friends of friends etc., so that as well as the mobility due to a good transport system made it easier for me to go out and meet people and make contacts.

Having said that, some of the contacts automatically fell off along the way, when I felt that they were not so forthcoming and I felt unwelcome. Some others remained as you say just acquaintances. However my studies, other students in the international hostel, a few of the above contacts who were very welcoming and supportive and welcomed me into their homes and hearts helped see me through that period.

I can fully understand that the situation in the US will be different because - the culture there is different, distances between places are huge, people are too wrapped up in their own lives and routines making it difficult to socialize much ..... I also met many Indians in the UK who were very wary of being friendly with other Indians probably for reasons of own which I cannot claim to understand. Such interactions did lead to hurt, but one had to learn to leave alone such people and move on. So I can very well imagine that there are such people all over the world.

 

Hi preethi,

I just happened to catch this post in the side bar and when I saw it was from you, I had to answer.(after all, from a fellow malaysian la...
just kidding.I very rarely step beyond snippets)

yes it is very common to be feeling like this, preethi. Ask me..at least you are lucky to be working. I came here leaving a lovely career and felt awful the first year. but then realizing that the decision had entirely been mine,I decided to make the most of it and made determined efforts to be happy...and also told myself that it need not necessarily be by keeping myself busy.

and yes, there still are days that I feel lonely but, it is just a feeling ,isn't it?so I shrug it off and consciously just snap out of it ..

( btwI do remember we had planned to meet long time back but that somehow never happened..anyway now that pm facilities have been restored let us try and meet up sometime or since you are the busier person,you are MOST welcome to visit me at my home anytime )