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Is it co-incidence or something fishy? Please clarify !!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SGBV, Jul 6, 2015.

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  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    True, the amount of interaction of both FOOs are very much high, as we all live in the same street and meet quite often. Therefore, I always want to stick to what was agreed and follow the same for the family's peace rather than complicating my life for this.
     
  2. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    It is not a coincidence.

    Our life experiences are often a result of the way we perceive things in life.

    Since you do not believe in Hindu religion, in your subconscious you were always wary to the idea of having a puja room at home though you might have agreed to have one.
    Hence whatever negative things happen in life you will automatically relate them to having the pooja being conducted at home.

    On the other hand a staunch believer of hindu religion will perceive the exact same situation in a totally opposite way.
    He will come to the conclusion that he was to suffer very bad reactions for his karma but since he established a puja room and took to performing the aarti and other puja with such dedication hence he is suffering less than he actually needs to.

    Taking God's shelter will never impact our life in a negative way. It will only bring harmony, peace and prosperity.

    Think of it this way. If you had MIL fed the underprivileged in an orphanange on your MIL's instructions, would have linked all the negative things happening to this too?

    It is only and only our attitude towards things which will brings to us positivity or negativity.
     
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  3. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    All the members on this forum are trying to guide you according to their understanding of the situation.

    Please do not try to bring in communal disharmony by mentioning different religions in such hypothetical situations. Your problem has nothing to do with the Muslim religion.

    Why are you linking not having the puja room cleaned thoroughly and diya not being offered daily twice to all the mishaps happening in your life?

    I understand you are not a Hindu so I would like to point out that the rules followed in the temple for installed deities i.e whose pran prathishta has been conducted are totally different than the ones we follow at home for our personal deities.

    God only expects to our best according to out abilities. We gain merit for all the good done, what is not possible for us to do is overlooked. We do not suffer any punishments for it. Please understand this.

    Since 3 weeks my parents have gone to the UK, I take care of the temple on my own. I do not have time to offer prasad so I offer only insence and diya. This week I am doing night shifts so I can't even do the evening aarti. Does it mean I am going to suffer for all this. I simply skip the procedure which I cannot perform, without giving it much thought. You need to do the same.

    SUrely I cannot come back from work just to perform the aarti, can I?
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @thegirlygirl

    Did I tell here that I am linking the pooja room and poor maintenance for my problems? No. Because I have faced many problems in life, even before this pooja room is established here.
    But a Hindu friend of us told this. I asked your opinions on this, and many of you also somewhat validated her thoughts by saying I shouldn't have done this and that.

    To attest this, my own MIL and her relatives also blame me for not properly maintaining Pooja room at home for all the problems I am facing now.

    By now, you may have got an idea about how this bad vibe thing has been injected to my mind, and my reactions.

    Other than this, what you have said in your first post was right.

    A strong believer of Hindu may think poor maintenance of Pooja room and lack of faith may be the reason for our problems.
    Where as a strong believe of Christianity may get confused with this, as I have no background or guidance on this.
     
  5. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear @SGBV,

    Your MIL is bound to say something or the other regardless of whether you do the right thing or not.
    Do not take her opinion into consideration when you are seriously introspecting.

    As I told you earlier we are only expected to serve to the best of our abilities.

    The negative reactions for neglecting the 'kuladevta' which you are warned of by many people does have some significance I agree.
    But these bad things will happen only when the kuladevat has been ignored for years or forgenerations altogether.

    Hence your MIL has told you to install a temple and you have done.

    It is not like you did not perform the aarti in the morning and by afternoon you lose your job or meet with an accident.

    Now that you already have a temple there is no need to worry. Just serve your best as a whole family. Even in your heart if you do offering sometimes it is ok.
    God also considers how inspite of being from a different faith you have taken to serving him since he is your kuldevta.

    He will keep you protected from all evil. Be assured.
     
  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all thanks for responding to this thread.

    From yours and many of others posts I've learnt only one thing so far.
    i.e, if you neglect the idols, there could be some significance, be it bigger or slighter.
    Again it differs person to person as some say the negative vibes will be serious only if you neglect the idols for years, and some say it can give you immediate reaction if it isn't treated with proper care.
    There are from a believer's POV. Perhaps, my MIL and even my H can believe and follow as per their own convenience.
    I have no issues with this at all.
    My husband can have his pooja room/space or temple at home, light lamps and do poojas whenever he feels convenient. Because he believes that should be fine.

    However, my problem starts when someone forces me to complement my husband just like in many other matters we do together. Eg: If husband forgets to buy the groceries, I would do the work.
    Like this, I can't light lamp and do pooja when he fails to do the same.

    Not because I am not open for his religion or I am being egoistic. But because my monotheist faith does not allow me to pray or do certain rituals to other idols. It is strictly prohibited.
    I can't act as a generous Christian by going against the bible. However, I can be wholeheartedly generous and supportive in all the other matters to help my husband observe his faith
    Eg: I cook certain food for many no of people who attend Navratri function held at our home. I do certain decor at our main hall on that festivel to help husband. Also, I and my kids dress as per his custom to welcome ppl, and accommodate all into our house without any bias. We too celebrfate Diwali and other Hindu festivals at home as husband takes the lead, and I support within my limits but we enjoy it.

    This case is different. I can't accept some idols as my Kula devta, or take any effort to serve the idols at my husband's absence. Also, I dont want to take any blame for not doing it. I think I am not complicating.
     
  7. mukuganga

    mukuganga New IL'ite

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    Dear SGBV,
    I think its coincidence. i set up our pooja room in t kitchen cabinet. with no other option i cant do much. even in periods time i have to take pantry things from that cabinet or sometimes without having bath. God doesnt punish us for these things. dont worry. things will b alright soon. God bless
     
  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    SGBV, please reread my post . Where in there I am forcing to do against your beliefs . In fact all my suggestions don't require your participation at all . You said your husband is not cleaning but can you not discuss with him to maintain it .

    The topic says is it coincidence or fishy , so obviously you get responses related to your question . If you would have asked is my husband right in violating our initial agreement and establishing a pooja place , the responses wil be different .

    People have given responses based on what they follow but you go and argue against the practice and rules itself. Even in your case your husband is not forcing you to participate and keeping everything under lock , no compulsion for you to do anything . The example you have is not similar to your circumstance. It is wrong to force anyone to do anything including you . But it also wrong and say the practice of fasting itself is wierd.

    Finally no religious bias from me .
     
  9. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    religion is based on belief....its not law which will be written in a book and will be interpreted same by everyone...everybody can have their own beliefs even if they belong to same religion....and everybody shuld follow wht their heart says....

    In ur above post u wrote tht ur husband doesnt clean and he is fine wth it....then leave it at tht....if he is okay wth it u shuld be okay wth it....its his faith let him follow in his own way....u shuld not be impacted by wht others are telling u....if u want to clean ....ask ur husband how to do it....clean it as he says...if you dont want ti dont clean ....anyways ur husband is not expecting u to do it....
    being a non believer u shuld not be impacted by wht ur collegue told u....just suppose if she tells u tht by doing aarti only gud things will happen in ur life...so wuld u start doing aarti???? No...because u dont believe it.....then dont get impacted.. when she says tht by doing things in certain manner bringing bad luck...
     
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  10. damini

    damini Gold IL'ite

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    Hi SGBV,

    I think it's mere coincidence.
    God is omnipresent that we can't restrict him to a almirah and definitely not petty to punish us for rituals.

    Do you somewhere feel that your husband is forcing his religious beliefs and practices on you by having the pooja space? Talk to him frankly about what expectations does he have(Eg-not entering duriing periods) and whether you two can agree on a place and how to go about it or otherwise.
     
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