1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Is it a Curse to Have only DAUGHTERS.....???

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by brindhak, May 7, 2008.

  1. jezz_nish

    jezz_nish Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    264
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    hi brindha,vidhya and geeta


    thanx for the encouragement and concern.
    day by day i'm preparing myself more to spend one month at my in laws,i hope it goes well.
    after my abortion i never use to speak to my MIL over the phone but later i started talkin to her once in a while and now once in a week,thinking that it will be less awkward when i have to face her,and now i actually think i'll be able to handle it,hope so.......... i just want to get over with it.

    anways thanks for starting this thread,it helped me a lot as i could get my frustration out and now after reading the response from all of u i really feel better and much relaxed when i think of my visit to india.

    take care
    jess
     
  2. celltech

    celltech New IL'ite

    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Some times it is unbelievable
     
  3. FreeSpirit20

    FreeSpirit20 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,544
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I know it is sad Brindha, but you know what it is people, or girls like us who can try to change this.

    I was witness to an incident recently. An old couple (around 80 years of age) have 5 daughters. The old man was in the hospital, and his wife needed someone badly to deliver his medical report which he forgot to take. Their 2 daughters stay just a street away, so she rushed to their house so that the son in law can help as they have vehicles. But the daughter refused immediately saying there was some problem with the bike and her husband could not help. The old lady became so tense and rushed back home, but was relieved when her husband called to say he does not need the report.

    I was so shocked to see this. I was like could not the son in law hire an auto to help or do something, I mean how could they just send her back like that. The only thought which came to my mind was that if the daughters are like this towards their own parents, no wonder people do not want a girl child.

    I know the same can be said about boys too. But I was so sad that day, and was so shocked.

    Needless to say, the old couple continue to do their bit for their kids and share a great rapport with them, maybe because they will not have anyone to turn to in the hour of need.

    And also the old lady keeps blessing her grand children to have healthy sons, and not daughters.

    Now whom should we blame for this kind of thinking of hers ? :|
     
  4. karjothi

    karjothi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Brinda,

    Let me share my own experience. I'm from a family of 3 daughters. I'm the eldest, the only married and working daughter in the family. My sisters are still in their higher education. I have 2 adorable princesses and my third princess is on her way.
    My mother will come down and stay with us for a week or lesser and goes back to her own house. She stays alone in her house since my father died 3 years ago. Both my sisters are living with me as they are studying here. We are not staying with IL. My MIL is a single mother staying own her own. We will provide financial support but she prefers to be alone rather being with the any children's family as she wants peace from grandchildren who could bug her life. My MIL has no objections for my mother to live-in with us. Even, my DH loves the idea of my mom to live-in with us.
    My mother have all the freedom in her own home, she can meet her friends, siblings, IL and go around the town without any hesitation at the home town, Not when she is with me. I do understand that, as she drives, knows the route and the people there. Not my neighbours and not the ways to go shopping near my house, she will get lost with the routes. She needs her freedom.
    We should give the elderly their own pace. They do love us. In my opinion, I do prefer my mom and my MIL to live their own life with their own preference until they themselves feel that they need help and move in with any children. I will do the same once my princesses are grown up ladies. My mom, MIL and myself, we are all working mothers bringing up children. The retirement age is when we could spend all the time and money for ourselves and not for the children. Wherever we go, we will never have the same freedom as we have in our own home. That's the reason our parents loves to stay own their own.
    My MIL lives on her own as no sons are living with her. All the sons, including my husband, are working in different state. She will lost her freedom if she moves in to live with any of her son. It is not wise to ask my MIL or my mom to live in a total new environment after all their ages spend in their home town with their family and friends. Whenever my MIL or my mom visits us, I will leave the house to them, let them arrange things according to their preferences, cook what they want, watch the programme they like etc. This is to give the comfort as though they are in their own home.
    BUT for sure, when the days come that my mom or MIL could not stay alone and need some support or help to take care of them, I will be there for them. Along with my sisters for my mom and other IL for my MIL.
    I will definitely guide my princesses that taking care of parents are the responsibilities of the children, regardless of the gender. In my older age, when i really need some help, i will contact my daughters, until then, i prefer to be on my own. If possible, I will never want to be a burden to my kids as they will have their own responsibilities to bring up their kids and career. It could be more challenging in future to bring up the kids. Even if I have 3 sons, I would not prefer to live with them. As long as I can go, i will go. As what and how my MIL does.
    The above are my opinions and plan. Let's see in 30 years time how it goes with my princesses. :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. vidhya3b

    vidhya3b IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    1,074
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Well said Karjothi!!!
     

Share This Page