Is it a Curse to Have only DAUGHTERS.....???

Hello Jaya Ma'am

Great to know that mothers like you exist! Hopefully, all mothers, and more importantly, in laws also start thinking in the same way ... atleast by the time I get married!!!

 

hello vidhya
i can understand what u have been thru,even now i can imgine it wouldnt be so great,i'm also in a smiliar situtaion,there is nuthing my mom in law hasnt said or done to me n parents.

my MIL has been spreading rumours that my father is a fraud,does all his buisness,wich he has been doing even bfre i was born,using my gold secretly.she has told that my mom calls n abuses her often,i hve na affair n my DH is going to divorce me soon etc etc n much worse its like now i'm used 2 it,but i coukld survive all this only because i have a wonderful DH,he is my life,he is been very very nice 2 my parents too.

i have come to the conclusion that mother in law means a mother who makes law n rules for her son,n when the day comes were someone else steps into his life she fears her position n starts her tactics.

the only way i see this can ever change is that when we become a MIL,try not to ever repeat the mistakes are MIL'S did.once are kdis are married let them live their life the way they want it,as they wnat the same we want now.........

take care ladies
jess

 

hi jess,
im really sad to read about your situation, dont worry dear, lets think that our MILs are doing us great help in making us strong and tough...we can not thank God enough for giving an understanding person as life partner...and like you say, lets not repeat the mistakes when we become inlaws and we will change things for good!

 

hi vidhya
thanx a lot for your concern.

i came to know all this around a year back,till then i thought she was very good,she does behave bad to me but is very nice also at times,so i wasnt aware of what was happening until i moved into U.A.E n my our realtives started calling n asking is all this true,now since i'm here i hve no idea whts happening back there in india,but i have 2 go visist her next month n hve 2 spend one month there,n just the thought of it is killing me,i dont sleep these days also,actually even last night i wrote that post at 1 in the nite,as i couldnt sleep with the tension of going to her house,juist pray i can handle it well,coz this time i really dont want her to mnaipluate me .

hope things getter for you,anways one thing u said is true we r getting stronger by all this,i am much stronger than i use 2 be.the time i had come to know her whole story i was devastated,it was also the time i cme to knw i was pregnant for the second time,but coz of all this trauma i had heavy bleeding n lost my baby at 4 months of pregnancy,n i blame my mom in law for it.when i was living with her i didnt either hate or love her,now i really hate her,n i cant imagine spending one month in her house,but my father in law (he has been fine,but not ready to accept or do anything about mil's ACTIONS)had heart attack n we havnet visited him yet,so i think i shud be going as he should get sometime with their grandchild,but the though of MIL being around my child freaks me out coz my mom in law never was fond of my baby,never took cre of her when i ws there she even went telling around people tht she hates my duaghter as she came out of my womb n hopes both me n my daughter die here itself n never return to india,n this keeps running around my head. i guess its going too.............. long its just that when i start talking abt all this i just cant stop,the mre i get it out the better i feel.but i really wana know has anybody else also have had bitter situtions like this or is it just me.

i hope i hvent bored all of u

take care
jess

 

Dear Brindha,

A really nice post that u have started.........We all do feel that we are a curse since we cannot take care of our parents..........also many a times parents also feel awkward to stay at their daughters home becoz of the belief in the old age customs that parents cannot stay at their daughters home........But i believe that if the boy has a responsibility to take care of his parents, the girl also has a responsibility to take care of her parents..........Then why is it that wen the girls parents need her, she is not given the freedom even to visit them???? Also once the boy is married, it is his responsibility also to look after the girls parents if they are sick........But unfortunately our Indian old age customs does not inculcate this values........The boy wants everything in a girl, good looking, educated, caring, who should take care of his parents....then y cant he take care of her parents??? Sometimes it may be the pressure from the in laws and sometimes he may just be too egoistic to take care of his wifes parents........

I wish all those in laws who wont let their DIL stay at her parents home or wont let her parents come and stay with her daughter, must have a daughter who has in laws with the same mentality as they have.....(i guess it became too confusing isnt it??? )

Anyways, i guess the best solution is that the boy after getting married should stay apart so that wenever the girl;s or the boy;s parents wants to visit them, they can do so without any hesitation (especially the girls parents, who may also feel awkward staying with their daughters in laws)..............

As for Jess, i cant believe that MIL can be so cruel.........i just wish that God give u the patience, strength and courage to face and live with ur MIL for one whole month.....

 

dear jess,
reading your post left me really sad...i'm so sorry that you are going through such a hard time...but please remember that people mellow down with age and your MIL will realise her mistakes soon...till then, just hang in there my friend and dont let the stress take its toll on your health...you must be strong and happy for your own sake and for your husband and child....Just take out your frustration by talking to us here and remember that we are here to comfort you when you feel low....
cheers,
vidhya