Is it a Curse to Have only DAUGHTERS.....???

Hi Brindha n others

I may be a little too young to reply to this topic from the point of view of a daughter-in-law coz I'm still 19! But wht I feel is that we live in this society where living with your daughter is looked down upon.

Before marriage, they would ask, "Haven't you got your daughter married off yet?" and after marriage, they would ask, " Why do you keep visiting your daughter's house?". Even in a house where the bread earner happens to be a girl, the father is questioned "Are you living on your daughter's earnings? Shame on you." We see this in movies, but lets face it ... its in reality as well.

I dont see any solution to this problem. Maybe a change in the mindset of the people of the Indian Society as a whole may help. But I'm sure thats going to take a long long time. Till then, we have to bear the brunt!

 

dear brindha

we are 3 daughters to my mother and am the eldest ne..my DH is a great friend of my mom and they share such a wonderful relationship that no sil or mil will share.........when my mom was looking out for me i needed a person who wud say a yes to take of my family as am the eldest and had tht responsibility......My Dh is GEM- he has taken over the responsibility and now tells my mom tht she need not worry abt anythign till HE is there......and my mom keeps saying tht even if she had had a SON he wudnt have been so affectionate.......so dun worry...days and ppl are changing for the better.......

lov
sowmi

 

Dear,
It will not be very far before daughter's parents can move in with the daughter. The old mind set is fading away with girls earning almost the same ,if not more. (Iam 52 yrs old still taking care of my mom in law & still feel uneasy to have mom with me for a long time).
But i have instilled in my son that when he gets married her family is also his responsibility. He also believes in it. More and more of such boys will be in ,so girls don't worry this is your world.
Jaya

 

Dear brindha
a very nice post. yes most of the parents think that they should not stay with their daughter as it is a burden. and they also spend when they stay with their daugher as they feel that if daughter spends then they dpend on her. but i have seen some parents taking advantage of the situation too. but i feel now the situation is slowly getting changed..and in future there will be a dramatic change in the attitudes. let us hope for the best..

love
geeth

 

Hi Brinda,

Good write-up. We are 3 sisters and my parents are really happy about it.

My parents also don't come and stay with us...not that my in-laws have a problem.

But when i see my parents view point...i feel they are right at 76 and 81 my parents are so used to their lifestyle that if they have to shift to a new place now...the adjustments that they have to do at this age is difficult. They can't move around or do things as they would in their house even though we give that freedom. Somewhere still something is amiss for them.

If they are healthy, with good neighbours and helps around them and finance not being a major problem...i feel they should be allowed to live their life without much of our interference. Whenever possible go and spend a few happy days with them.

This works best for my family. As my parents get bored in a few days so even if they come they do not stay more than a week.