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Is Happiness The Most Important Thing In Your Marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by DavenaRosalie, Jul 29, 2018.

  1. DavenaRosalie

    DavenaRosalie Silver IL'ite

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    It's a wonderful thing to be in love and happy as most couples who decided to get married do. It may be most couple's reason why they end up getting married.

    But should staying happy be the focus of your marriage?
     
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  2. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Staying happy should be the focus of life. We should know that if we are unhappy then there must be a reason larger than life because we only have one life. But we do feel down many times ignoring this fact.
     
  3. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Happiness should be a key factor of “life” in total, not just marriage.

    This doesn’t mean we should not adjust or sacrifice n become “happiness” obsessed monsters.
    But when you have happiness as the target, you will put in extra effort n choose the right path to reach that target.

    We have one life, we should be atleast reasonably happy with it.

    I personally made n live by that choice, I can feel a big difference in the quality of my life n my family’s.
     
  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Happiness is important in life . But in marriage, the happiness of our spouse and kids becomes more important than our own and that gives us true satisfaction .

    I think mostly I find more happiness in my husband's happiness . I feel i can do anything for his happiness , but with reasonable exceptions if required . eg. one should not blindly sacrifice for husband if it's for any unethical things like dowry , abuse or blindly following without using our mind etc. Thankfully my husband is a very good person and our values match So i didnt face such dilemmas .

    Not just in marriage, even in life I find my happiness in my parents happiness . In general too , I find happiness in helping others . But we also need to take care of our own happiness, dignity and value system . Else we will grow resentful and become a drain on others eventually .
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2018
    GeetaKashyap and messedup like this.
  5. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Do you mean like life gives us troubles to test us or make us stronger or some other good purpose ? That's a very positive way to think , and it will really help us to be motivated to better our lives in the face of trouble .
     
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  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes you understood very correctly....:)
     
  7. DavenaRosalie

    DavenaRosalie Silver IL'ite

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    I agree that our partner's happiness gives us happiness (and more of satisfaction). But our happiness should not solely depend on that or we will end up unhappy ourselves. Trials in marriage will come and go according to relationship experts, but we should rise above those times when we will feel mistreated for even the most loving partner will at one point treat you badly (intentionally or unintentionally). But if we are happy and secure ourselves, we will continue to experience and enjoy different wonderful emotions toward our spouses and be blissfully happy in their arms.
     
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  8. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    yes happiness is the key to a good life and a good marriage......No body is responsible to make us happy......we have the sole responsibility to make ourselves happy in everyway we can......And thus we should responsibly choose happiness in our lives.....Cheers...
     
  9. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Happiness is the key. But what a person happy is a very subjective matter. It is highly depend on who you are.
    For me, staying at home with mom, kids and H as a family, spending family time and lazing around the house without any set target to be achieved is HAPPINESS.
    But to get in there, I need to sacrifice a lot, go through a lot of uncomfortable paths towards unhappiness in terms of establishing a secure finance, and comfortable living for all.
    Even after attaining it, there are lots of targets that come your way like kids' education, family's health, social participation, relationship with extended family etc...
    You can't just relaxly laze around in home with your family all the time when your life comes up as a package of all the above mentioned targets.
    Eg 1: You can't be happy if your child is not doing good at school or your mom is sick...
    Eg 2: You can't be happy if your business is draining or your extended family chose to stay away from you.
    So, ultimately to enjoy that one day of happiness as per your dream, you need to work hard and smart all the other days. That is life.
    Nevertheless, it is in your hand to enjoy whatever you do, be it a household chore or a career or even disciplining the kid. Be confident and enjoy them. This way, you are happy no matter what.

    Marriage is not just about love and to be loved. It is more than that.
    A family and ultimately yours and your family's life follows upon your marriage. So, happiness in a marriage is not just about yourself or your H, but about everyone involved in it.
     
  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    We have all been taught [reading thousands of stories, and watching so many movies] that after people get married, they go on to "live happily ever after". No one really strives to be unhappy, and have that as a goal, or focus in life. Even as I typed this last sentence, I caught myself thinking that someone could point to MIL's who could strive to be unhappy, and focus on making a married couple in the same household unhappy as well; but then, that is a different situation.

    You must explain -- offer some multiple choice answers -- your question ? Are you suggesting that there should be something other than happiness, as a focus in one's marriage ? Like getting control of the spouse's wealth and property ... ;)? Or some other grand larceny ? For most simpletons, happiness would be sufficient. One has to be really really clever to go beyond that.
     
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