Is giving up your identity completely is an expression of love?

Converting to spouse's religion is not a proof of love. :crazy

Both you and your spouse practicing both the religions and exposing your kids to both religions .... that would be a loving guesture.

On a different note, I don't think converting to another religion = loosing a person's identity. A person's identity is not solely based on his/her religion. Just my opinion!

 

My beleif is...If you like a person as they are , how they are, and what they do..thats the real expression of love...anything you want to change in spouse, want to push them, chide them or make them do something just for our own benefit is not called love...its purely being selfish.


As someone said, If a man expects a pure expression of love i.e his wife totally surrendering herself to him, why cant he do the same for his wife??? is this surrendering ourselves a one way street? that too for women?? doesnt it already sound like being a chauvnist?? or bully?

 

WELL SAID.....SriVidya.

I have to tell you Vidya, I like your analysis and your attitude so much. Your posts are all so well thought over ones and you take time and patience to write so well.

 

You needn't give up your identity or religion in order to express your love. According to me it is utter foolishness to lose your identity to show how much love you have for someone.

Alternatively, you can still respect his religion, beliefs, food habbits and other matters. You can give him priority when and where it is necessary. I mean you can help him follow his religion in a certain way (or even join him), so that he won't be marginalised by his community because of his non practicing wife. For this you don't need to lose your identity or convert your religion. All what you need is to take some extra effort to make him comfortable.

Similarly he can go some extra miles to make you happy by doing certain things/changing certain practices for the sake of love. Its a two way journey....

It is foolishness to compare lord Budha's love with our marital love. Lord Budha didn't leave his wife and son because of God, but he moved out from his kingdom in searchin for permanent happiness... i.e sprituality.

 

Only women loves a men?If men loves her women he can also do the same.Isn't it?
First he comparing marital love with these Great personalities love and then want societal acceptance also by expecting only women to do it.These great people did not care about what society at that time said.Men are so smart.There is no tax on what lectures you give to anybody.Its just that your personality and character is known by your actions not by your words.So first do it yourself and then speak about it and don't speak about what you yourself not ready to do just because of something so stupid that you are a male.This is called Gender biasness.
I don't understand why at the drop of a hat most of the men start giving lectures to their wife on compromising,sacrifices and adjusting when they themselves can not do even half of it.The simple reason they have it women are more emotionally strong they can do it we can't.If they can't why to even speak about it then.They can also give examples to their wife by adjusting and accepting her family as his own.They should keep their mouth shut in palce of keep on demanding and more and more expecting and lecturing and show it by implementing it first.

 

see i feel in marriage 2 I AND I are welded together at one end to become a V . both gotta give up a lot. it alters ur identity forever. the faster u lose the I the better for u.this applies to both man and wife.if you give up ur identity he should give his 100% love, attetion ,respect to u. for such a thing to happen he should be dedicated in love u cant deny it . if he doesnt give 100% he dont deserve that. think it that way.