Is being talented a curse????

kavinarayan · Dec 16, 2008

Today i thought i would start talking about what most of we Ils are .....talented and creative...

Like most of us ladies i love to learn new thing...crafts and tailoring are my favorites and i love to try my hand on them...when i was not married my mother and father used to encourage me so much to do all these thing and they would search places to get the materials i wanted...the fur dolls i made was all around the house and my work was appreciated by everyone who came home....before marriage my hubby praised me of my tallent and kept saying that no one in his house was so talented and he is lucky to have a wife like me...

I drive my kinetic honda and i drive car too...these are simple things that women today are capable o doing.....

I got married...the thing which were a praise to me became a curse to me....it all first started when i did my 1st fur doll at my in-laws...my MIL literally made a big fuss and said that i should not make these dolls anymore in my place cos the fur is flying all over and it is costly according to her...then everything was a comparison...my SIL is also working and my hubby and my MIL started saying that iam wasting money on these things and her daugter did not waste money like this....my hubby did not let me drive my bike or car cos his sis did not know to drive...no tailoring cos his sis did not do it....what my hubby felt lucky before was a waste now.....

Now all this is done only when the materials are given by my mother...

Is being what you are wrong...many must have faced these situations....so is being talented a curse or a gift...

kavi

swathi14 · Dec 16, 2008

Hai Kavi

Gents cant tolerate women being more knowledgeable than him.

Art is a god's gift and no body can object this. The benefit of this art is intangible - it can only be felt.

If money is the only criteria to learn an art - then it is sales and not an art.

By listening to MS amma's music - our heart feels like flying. Nobody can compensate it for money. Similarly every art is priceless and only an artistic mind can appreciate others work.

If their daughter goes to office and earn money - you are also earning the appreciation of others. To me both are same. Gents will love only one art for women that is cooking. Because they are going to be the beneficiary. Dont loose heart. Our day will definitely come to prove ourselves.

Andal

enlightened · Dec 16, 2008

Hi Kavi,
I think you are a very talented lady and u certainly must work your bit on bringign your hubby and in-laws around....Make them accept your talent and keep going!

ANK · Dec 16, 2008

Hi Kavi!

Let not others insecurities stop you from persuing ur hobbies or interests! U seem to be so talented, so do not give up on these!

parimala_80 · Dec 17, 2008

Kavi,

Because of whatever reasons you mentioned,don't put back the wonderful gift you have..not every one is good in craft and art...we all wanted to believe that we have come long way interms of 'women revolution'..but certain things are still the same when we get married and step into the other family...you try to make others understand about your talent in a positive way...may be take this as a challenge !!!

Shanvy · Dec 17, 2008

Kavitha,
Being talented is never a curse. And i disagree with bracketing all gents not wishing their wives to be more talented. the above referred MSS had such a encouraging husband in Mr.Sadasivam without whom MSS would never have reached the pinnacle of having her golden statue at tirupati...

I just would like to say, enjoy your art, yes a little adjustment in the beginning of a marriage is fine as long as it is used for gauging behaviour patterns and the likes of others in the family members.

What i really feel, is you could talk to your Husband, that you get immense satisfaction in doing these, and he should help you in this regards, without going into sulking mode/negative mode...

narmee_r · Dec 17, 2008

if they r stopping u is b'se of the jealous. ur sil doesnt know. if any one comes home definitly they'll ask abt ur wk & they need to say that u made that. if any one replies that why dont u teach this to ur sil then its a big ego problem for them. but remember still ur husband likes it. he is opposing b'se of ur mil. thats it. its 100% jelous. so be proud of that.

& to overcome fr this prob just tell everyone abt ur talent & why u r not doing it? so that they may allow u to do it again.

hema_alex · Dec 17, 2008

Kavi, being talented is God's gift to us. Sometimes jealousy can make people who love you and whom you love do unimaginable things.

Attitudes vary Kavi. What is interesting for us may not be the same for others. But ensure that you don't stop being yourself and pursuing your interests just because your in-laws are against it. Try explaining to them that you are happiest when you pursue your hobbies. If they still don't come around, then leave it. Don't bother much and get tensed. The only person whom you'll have to convince is your husband which you surely can by lots of love.