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Is “imitation” Really The Biggest Form Of Flattery?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Apr 20, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    No one’s ideas are original and I agree but to do that back to back is sickening after a time.


    My relative who has a daughter the same age as mine.Initially when she did some things similar to mine,it was not bothersome but nowadays it’s getting to be a bit too much..

    Eg:

    1) I once told her about my vacation plans when she was planning hers.She booked her tickets to a particular place and she immediately cancelled it and booked to the same place as mine even before I could book mine.I didn’t think much about it.

    2) I took my kid to a special vacation for her birthday and she did the same for her daughter and teased us that we had missed out so many places and she did a lot more..

    3) If I make my DD wear a particular dress,next day she will make sure the girl does the same thing.Leave kids..if I wore a particular dress,she will do the same next day and tease me that it was not suiting me.

    4) we are in a family watsapp group.I had put my DD pics there and she immediately made the same photo shoot and put her DD Pics..

    5) Even birthdays and celebrations..it is getting to be a bit too much.

    6) Shr put her DD in all classes which I did.her daughter is not able to to cope up with some but she forces which my hubby noticed and said.

    Every Tuesday literally she calls up to know my weekend plans if I have any.Anything I say..she does it.I quit saying and she will call until she knows..


    Somebody doing everything back to back is getting irritating..

    Thanks to corona virus...I won’t meet her much.Today I had put my dd pics in the morning in watsapp group and not so surprisingly she did the same.


    It is very irritating to talk to her and she calls so often...How do I deal with this?
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    She is nothing but jealous and trying to compete with you.

    Normally when you are jealous of a person, you tend to do the same thing what the other person does to convince yourself that you are no less than him/her.

    You need not reveal any of your plans.
    Try ignoring her. Don’t pick her calls.
    Tell your phone was silent.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks shravs..trying my best to ignore but doing things back to back and me not able to cut off completely coz she is a relative.

    The worst was once I wanted to take an aunt who was visiting from India to few places nearby and I told her that we will split where we have to take.I chose two of them and she just remained quiet.


    you know what she did?She took her to all the places and left me with nothing to take the aunt nearby..I felt very bad.

    How much to ignore?Trying my best but the competition level she does is toxic.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    This shows high level of her own insecurities and jealousy. She doesn’t believe in her own choices, that’s why she asks you of yours and plain right copies it. Take from this, she genuinely believes your choices are superior.

    The line of ‘it doesn’t suit you’, that comes from jealousy, that jealousy wants her to hurt you.

    About the aunt, maybe she wanted more brownie points and also put you down. Next time you stay quiet too and just do. Say haven’t planned yet, you tell me, dh and I have to discuss, such things and put it off.

    Such toxic people, you keep them at a good far off distance, reveal lesser, if she prods tell her fake plans, stupid ideas and watch her do it and laugh internally. Keep your real plans to yourself.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  5. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika, tell her that you and family just eat and relaxes now. ask her to relax as well.

    Also copy dishes pics from Google and tell in group you made it. Enjoy madi!
     
  6. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    This sounds fun Anika, nowadays you do not get much a social activity, this is an interesting thing to look forward to. I say you tell her about weekend plans - exaggerate it, or tell something you will not do, and see if she does it.

    On another note, I think you also feel competitive when she does things that you plan. It is natural. But just remember, your life goal is different, how much she copies you, it doesnt matter, she cannot be you.

    Now that you know she copies you, do not tell her the ideas if that annoys you.
     
    sindmani and anika987 like this.
  7. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    I remember you created similar thread and later closed it. Maybe I’m wrong but for some reason I remember reading something like this from you before .
     
  8. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    @ashima10 Lolll :)

    I used to have such kind of friends who always wanna discuss every minor thing I do, which not even in my memory, and I realised it a bit late as it's out of jealous.

    As am being evil, I used to poke more whenever I get chance (like posting pics, drawings my DD), was enjoying their negative comments which came out of jealous.

    How I handled:
    'Saree is good, but not suited to you' :
    Yh, felt same.. but everyone complemented strangely

    Is your DD attending that exam, it's not so simple, don't put hopes.. I just came out with pass marks
    Later DD got 75%
    And her reply, oh that's great(upset face)!!

    My cousin got into IIT with out any coaching and state topper:
    Those days were so easy to get, but not at all now!!

    Anyways if you realised it's out of jealous, be ready to receive negative comment, stay calm, laugh and enjoy!!
     
    ashima10, shravs3 and anika987 like this.
  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Not on this topic.I do have problems with relatives
     
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Usually most of your relatives humiliate you.
    This girl seems to think highly of you. That's why she is imitating you.
    Yes, she is flattering you. Enjoy
     
    anika987 and rachaputi like this.

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