Involving my DH in helping beyond jst words

Reshu it equally applies to men and women.
I know my husband belongs to that category that if I press him hard to do things, he'd prefer to stay in office and do things of his desire and few more known in my circle who choose to return not before 11pm or 2 am etc etc.... such guys prefer to waste office hrs in chatting and browsing and stay beyond hrs to finish the work & then there can be calls ofcourse.

Yes it applies to womenfolk as well, when they have unhappy/ nagging inlaws around they love to stick in office for more hrs than usual to be able to sit peacefully for few hrs or mins.

Situations change when a lady becomes a mother and feels a greater need to rush to home to be with the child. I also see quite a few fathers picking up their kids from daycare and some school maids dropping kids back to their home handing them to another set of aayah at home since both the parents dont return prior to 10 pm.........
There are all types of cases, and generally find a way to fit their life and work styles. If all agree, the setup cpntinues.. else they move to court :biglaugh............

 

ShilpaMa, I love the way you have put it.:thumbsup

Seriously, I feel guys who hate commitments should have the option of dating or staying single as in western countries.

In India lot of times parents forcefully get them married off once they reach a certain age with the note "Shaadi ke baad badal jaayega" ( He will change after marriage) and this is what happens - They end up seeking solace in office to avoid wife and kids.

 

Dr.K - I think you are not really trying to "change" the situation, looks like what you want to do is just vent it out in an online forum. Thats ok, if thats the goal.

But if you want to change the situation - you know writing here wont do a thing. Take action. We've talked abt it in the past as well, so I wont waste time repeating all that.

 

Good DrK, hope things go as you scheduled.

Now if something does not happen as per the calendar, just let it go. Dont rush to do the task yourself or to remind him or nag him. Just let it go. Lets see how long it goes without getting done, dont interrupt that - he'll have to wake up to see that you wont nag or remind him anymore.
If he doesnt do it, then it wont get done, and you wont bother either.

You are a cool headed person DrK, just push things via action now.

 

Its nice reading all the suggestions....some really useful one too!! I liked the one specially that said - give the LO to DH and ask him to handle the kid, while you do work.....if DH complains...just very casually mention that it is dangerous to be distracted while you are cooking....for the child's safety it is better if DH handles the baby ....

After dinner ...maybe you can sit down with the LO and ask DH to clean up, letting him know you are tired.....i mean come on...any loving hubby will want his wife to be happy..and will let her relax at the end of the day!

 

Hi,

I am not a mom yet but I am facing this situation daily in my home.. my dear MIL stays with me.. she is really old fashioned and believes that all work related to home, cleaning, washing everything and even outdoor stuff like buying veggies are women folks work.. men shouldnt be involved.. if i ask my dh to accompany me, either he will moan or ask umpteen questions by which u get frustrated and u will feel y did u ask him.. or MIL will ask u y cant u do it urselves?.. he wont even lift his used cups/plates from the place.. u have to clean it.. but when he sees things lying around, he will start shouting.. y dont u clean the stuff.. i have been irritated a lot.. sometime back, i was working, earning a good salary.. but due to some reason had to quit.. now being stuck at home, this thing is getting on to me.. before marriage, i was hoping that in whatever i do, my dh will be helping me, sharing things.. but the reality proved otherwise.. even if i try to make him help me, bec of old MIL that is not possible.. its a constant stress at home.. as they say, we women hav to endure a lot..