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Intimacy - Loss And Cure, Your Experiences And Suggestions

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by nandita24, Nov 15, 2017.

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  1. Nov 15, 2017 #1
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    I have been of recent been discussing with some friends about the decline in intimacy with their spouses and all possible solutions. Few of them or workable or feasible. What is your experience in this important area of one's married life. What was the actual problem and how was it sought to be solved. And how successful were the attempts. Thank you.
     
    nandita24, Nov 15, 2017
    nandita24, Nov 15, 2017
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  2. Nov 16, 2017 #2
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Is the lack of proper intimacy a major cause why a marriage fails? In an arranged marriage (one marriage counselor told me) love between a couple starts from bottom to top. And i have heard from a few couples whom i know that the relationship is directly proportional to the quality of their sex life.
     
    nandita24, Nov 16, 2017
    nandita24, Nov 16, 2017
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  3. Nov 16, 2017 #3
    pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Its natural that the frequency goes down after a couple of years....
    And i also believe that the definition of intimacy changes as the couple grow older
    Like in initial years post marriage and pre kids, couple are curious to explore each other intimately with different positions ways foreplay etc etc.

    After kids... It takes time but they gradually return to the intimacy though may or maynot be as much as in initial years interms of frequency or ways.

    Once a couple is old with kids settled or living far... Their intimacy deepens...but maynot be in the form of sex but gentle holding hands...kissing each other...enjoying each others company... Etc... Thats the bestest phase with pure intimacy.
     
    pinky2cute, Nov 16, 2017
    pinky2cute, Nov 16, 2017
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  4. Nov 17, 2017 #4
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    I am referring more to the quality of sex rather than the frequency. Often it leaves both dissatisfied and wanting. It also tends to get routine and boring and perhaps this is one important reason the frequency too dips.
     
    nandita24, Nov 17, 2017
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  5. Nov 17, 2017 #5
    ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    You are right. Quality of sex is important than the frequency.

    In a marriage, even if the frequency is less but the quality is upto to your satisfaction, you may still not feel deprived.

    But if the quality is bad despite being intimate everyday, it may just add on a lot of negativity n frustration.

    There's a lot factors for the frequency reduction, as years go by, as kids grow up, the responsibilities piles on, parents get older, body changes, health issues, career growth, personal growth, n many more distractions later, it's quite common to lose on the frequency.

    Also each person's intimacy levels vary, some may need it more frequent than another. N some lesser.

    Keeping all this in mind, it would make a positive change in a marriage if the partners respects the other person's needs n meet them half way.

    It can also help if they are vocal about their needs n convey to each other. After all it applies to both men n women. So it shouldn't be one sided.

    Also a good healthy relationship, a good friendship between the couple, active communication also plays a part in all this.

    'Love making' is a whole set of things together n makes you emotionally happy as well n builds a good n lasting relationship.
     
    ashneys, Nov 17, 2017
    ashneys, Nov 17, 2017
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  6. Nov 18, 2017 #6
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    A very interesting thing about life is we take sex for granted and eventually it tends to become most disappointing. It is perhaps in search of sexual satisfaction perhaps that our societies are so obsessed or paranoid about sex. If it were seen as a normal human need and the attitude towards sex was as it should be without all the negative connotations more than half the ills of society born out of repressed sex would disappear.
     
    nandita24, Nov 18, 2017
    nandita24, Nov 18, 2017
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  7. Nov 18, 2017 #7
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sex has to follow love imo.
    If a husband cannot treat his wife with love and respect,he cannot expect sex .
     
    Sunshine04, Nov 18, 2017
    Sunshine04, Nov 18, 2017
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  8. Nov 18, 2017 #8
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    I prefer to think that sex is over hyped due to the many restrictions over time. It can be considered just about any other normal human activity. And just like any other normal activity one just needs to like and respect the person with whom one is interacting. "Love" as such may not really be an essential requirement for good sex.
     
    nandita24, Nov 18, 2017
    nandita24, Nov 18, 2017
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  9. Nov 20, 2017 #9
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    nandita24, Nov 20, 2017
    nandita24, Nov 20, 2017
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  10. Nov 21, 2017 #10
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    INTIMACY=INTO ME I SEE:cheer::cheer:
     
    Sunshine04, Nov 21, 2017
    Sunshine04, Nov 21, 2017
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