Intimacy issues

tndocgirl · Jul 14, 2014

Dear all, I have wanted to bring up this topic for a long time now but have hesitated as it is a little embarrassing to talk about intimacy issues on an open forum. I have been married for 5 years, nearing 6 now and we have twin kids aged 2 1/2 years. Earlier we were living apart for 1 1/2 years as he was abroad while I pursued post graduation. We have always enjoyed good emotional and physical compatibility with very few minor issues. Our toddlers are very rambunctious and quite demanding [I presume all mothers say that ] The problem is that we like the kids to share our bed at nights and we stay in a joint family setup. Essentially that means we have not been able to find much time to indulge in sexual love. We are both busy practitioners and that seems to just add to the demands on our time. Net result : We seem to find only stolen minutes to be together. While DH doesn't seem to mind making out at odd hours in a rapid fire manner, I would like to have a little more time to love. Please advise me on what to do. My kids are too young to be left behind on long weekend trips, so Iam a little lost on how married couples in joint families actually get time together. Please give me some ideas.

Iamagoodgirl · Jul 14, 2014

god damn i would like to have answer too before i end up like that.No kids yet.

yellowmango · Jul 14, 2014

21/2 years hmmm.....
Time to make separate sleeping arrangement for them. One of my friends daughter got up at night (she was 3-4 years old) and saw the parents doing it.Next day she told many people...."raat ko mere papa meri mummy se ladai karte hain".(my dad fights with my mom at night).Poor friend had to go about explain.She chose to tell the truth rather than let people assume they actually fought.

darmesh · Jul 14, 2014

yellowmango said: ↑

.She chose to tell the truth rather than let people assume they actually fought.
Click to expand...

:drowning mg:

guesshoo · Jul 14, 2014

If your room is big enough, can you get separate cots for the kids?
Or cribs.
If you have a spare room, it might be best to either move the kids to that room or move yourselves once the kids are asleep...
Or go on a holiday with kids and stay in a suite sort of set up where there is enough room for the kids to sleep separately.
Or let the kids get used to having their afternoon naps with grandparents.

Good luck!

pear · Jul 21, 2014

Hi doc
Can you shift your intimacy to day time when you can send your kids to PIL citing headache or for a story section.You may have to build them as great story tellers.
Screen your room to get night effect.This is just a suggestion you can add your flavour to the idea.Making use of the spare room is also a good one.If your parents are nearer ,you can send them there for a day citing work.

han412 · Jul 21, 2014

I spent my younger years till I was 1 and every summer after that in a joint family. Children upto 1.5-2 slept with parents after that they slept with grandparents. Today finally I realized the reason behind that ;-)

pantu · Jul 22, 2014

Grandparents are there for baby sitting. Why are you so worried ? Send your babies to them have some fun...

JustMyself · Jul 22, 2014

TNdocgirl,

You mentioned you are in joint family. If so, once in a while let the little ones sleep with their grant-parents. It would be a fun arrangement for all.