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Insults and Comebacks

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ILoveTulips, Nov 10, 2010.

  1. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    (Courtesy: Internet)
    [​IMG]

    I always feel that I am late thinker. Yes. Will tell you why.

    Its not because I make wrong decisions often and worry about that later. Its about speaking smartly. When encountered with sniffy questions or insulting phrases, I mostly tend to avoid answering or lose temper. Its ok if I forget about that conversation once it was over. But I wont. Even now I keep myself beating up for not responding cleverly to a person who insulted me because of my skin complexion more than 4 years ago.


    When I see live interviews of great politicians I wonder how they can tackle the questions brilliantly such that the answer to those will not only put them in "Good people" zone but also hit the lightor of the question like boomerang; Sometimes it even makes the ignitor regret that they shouldn't have started such topic. Will I have to practice politics for years to develop that skill?


    One example, (Courtesy : Internet)


    The famous occasion when Lady Astor said the Winston Churchill, 'Winston, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee', to which Churchill replied, 'Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.'


    Not only answering clumsily haunts me, but also not speaking the fact at the time it was necessary to be spoken. Even after weeks even months or years I can't forgive myself for not doing that.


    One of my close relatives, never accepts criticism or to be talked down. So whenever she was put in such situation, she responds with a smile and the response would be such that it makes the person who asked the question to lose face. I first wondered how she does that? How her brain is such active so that as soon as she faces such lines, her brain immediately filters that its spam and have to be taken action? How she comes up with the ingenious response so quick?


    After few days getting acquainted with her, I understood the answer. She responses to all the questions like that. In the act of throwing the insulting phrase back to the ignitor, she has subtle insulting responses ready at any time and gives back. So her motto was like even 1000 regular questions can be punished; but not even a single insult should left unpunished. I felt sad for her after learning this truth about her. I was the victim most of the time I speak with her. I felt like she reads too much into lines and lessened, almost fully avoided speaking with her. These people can't be peaceful because they always in an imagination that people around them are willing to insult them whenever they get chance.


    Ok, now going back to the original problem in hand. How to practice speaking/answering smartly such that we insinuate our point subtly? Should we practice that for years or should be readily with the witty answers and throw everywhere? Second one was S-T-U-P-I-D.


    Often the conversation was over, I keep rumminating various possible responses I should have given and I beat myself for not giving that then and there. Writing is different. We have enough time to think proper response, and reply when we are absolutely thourough with the answer. But while speaking, there's huge pressure on us.


    I feel its dumb to restart the conversation again after we got the answer ready, and snap at the person.


    Or should I have to note down the possible insulting phrases and clever responses in my diary and memorise those, to use them whenever needed? Huh?


    Or would you say its better to forget them and live peacefully? Oh sorry I can't do that. I can't forgive myself, my lack of intelligence will haunt me for years. I know that very well.


    Not only that, when I get series of irritating questions from the same person, I shout at myself for not attacking the person at the first time itself. May be I respect the person too much or I am scared. It might be the second one. Will tell you why.


    Sometimes even I have very good response in mind, I resist saying that fearing, what if the conversation grows because of that? What if the other person has too many good points to say and I risk myself into it just having one good response? So finally I give up and keep quiet.


    When I was in College 2nd year, we regular bunch of girls were having lunch, when one other girl joined us as we have good laughters throughout the lunch time. She sat next to me. After few minutes she got up and told me, "You are very boring to spend time with" and went to the other side of the bench. I didn't talk the whole time before she said that, might be that's the reason. But still those words hurt me in front of all my friends and I kept quiet. Its 8 years ago, still I can't forget that incident and curse me for not coming up with a sarcastic reply.


    We are a very big team that goes for lunch in my previous job, that includes men too. I was constantly a victim for teasing, most of the times those were ok but sometimes crosses the line. I can't lose temper or complain and show myself as a spoil sport. As I was very bad in replying with smart remark, I end up triggering more teasings. So I learnt shut up my mouth and laugh with them. Eventually I was slipped from the target position and somebody else took my position. I often get surprised how men can come up with such witty sarcastic comments promptly when insulted?


    Please don't think I enjoy hurting people or making them look like fool; My intention is to stand up for myself.


    So did you face any such questions and DID gave sarcastic or witty response? Please share those here. It might be handy for me and everybody in future...
     
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  2. Perfectionist

    Perfectionist Senior IL'ite

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    Hi

    Its like reading my own story. You put it in very simple words. Sometimes i seriously feel i dont have presence of mind or i m scared. But everytime i just smile and leave that person alone and afterwards i think what should be the answer of that remark.

    Waiting for others to answer the question.
     
  3. tuffyshri

    tuffyshri Gold IL'ite

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    join the group! :( i keep calling myself 'Dumb'!

    BTW ennanga, i was eagerly waiting for pasupathi... adha ezhutha mattengala??
     
  4. nishat.kutub

    nishat.kutub New IL'ite

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    count me in too............ i feel myself dumbest one for that.........can never give proper reply :bonk
     
  5. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear ILT,

    I was like that at the beginning...But with time, now I know how to handle such people. Now no one dares to talk like that (at least in front of me)

    I can very well understand your feelings dear. I too have so many such incidents that I can never forget, but they would not even remember. Sometimes, people just do not know how much their words hurt us. They need to be taught then and there...
     
  6. swathi14

    swathi14 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi count me too.. Not only others even my DH at times joins the teasing group that I am hefty.

    But i wont reply them. i will behave that i am not at all bothered abt their comments. But some times it hurts a lot.

    andal
     
  7. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    hi tuffyshri,

    thanks for ur comments... me too... i feel i am the dumbest person in the world.. ;(
    oh kandeepa ezhudharenga... ippo konjam busy... chinna naattaaama neraya vela koduthuttaar.... seekiram adutha episode-oda varen...
     
  8. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    :( oh... but if u think of ever u got good reply, record it here.... :) thanks fr dropping by ... :)
     
  9. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    Thats so great ice dear.... you should post some incidents or examples here, how u handled those... it would be very helpful for others... :)
     
  10. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    oh yeah, after i found the answer of the reamark i feel even restless, thinking how will I give this answer to that person? should i start the conversation again or smething... till now i have lots of late good replies... nothing delivered... :(
     

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