Inlaws Orders

Dear Ria84,

My marriage life is 9+ years, after suffering for 7 years I realized if I don't respect myself then nobody will.

Usually I don't give back answers/insult to anyone be it adults or even youngest.

But don't do anything work example in case of any pooja function (give reason of menstrual issue).

In case of any social function give excuse of health / migraine / sometimes don't attend / office work / death of friend / cousin ill health / sometimes I request my friends to even call me up. The list goes on.

In case if husband confront my reason goes, my identity in his family is through him as his wife, by mistreating they are insulting his existence. If thought seriously wife's identity is only through his husband by disrespecting her they are insulting his existence too.

 

How about telling in laws directly not to give orders instead request politely? Try doing that once if doesn't work tell your husband you don't like anyone ordering you.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't pay attention to their orders. Especially in front of the relatives.
I wouldn't sound arrogant, but I would simply leave the place as if I didn't hear their command, or even don't go near MIL if I anticipate any orders from her.

I would also say yes, and not act... I would indulge in something else, like an extended phone call, pretending to be busy; hence unable to do what they asked for.

Or I will ask my MIL to do the same with a small excuse... Like "ma, if you don't mind, could you please make tea for the guests, I gotta run for XXX work. Sorry" with a smile

The more you do, the more they will understand you.