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Inlaws demanding a second wedding ceremony!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by asuitablegirl, Mar 1, 2010.

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  1. feduptocore

    feduptocore Senior IL'ite

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    ASG...
    My GOD dear what sort of people(creatures) are your in-laws???:bonk
    ... Better stay clear of them... Do you have any relatives in India who you are close to?? then when your DH visits his parents you can be visiting them instead....Actually do visit Rajasthan... its a wonderful place with wonderful people... :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl JOKES APART???... But I Think Gujjus are wonderful people too... Got loads of them as my friends...
    Yes Time flies by and before you know it 2011 will come... so for now.. decide against going.. but never say never...
    Listen to your gut feeling and act accordingly....
    K
     
  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    I'm sure my mil would love that, but I think it's unlikely....

    I spoke to the ex, I think it was back in 2008.... and she wants NOTHING to do with my dh's parents. She HATES my mil. The ex says "something is just not mentally right" with my mil and that when she was married to my dh, mil controlled everything and "showed her true colors" starting from the wedding day itself. Ex has been married twice before, but she's looking for third marriage with somebody other than my dh. I'm pretty sure of that. :) Anyways... my mil could bring her to stand right in front of my dh all dressed up in rajasthani bridal outfit... doesn't mean my dh will marry her!! No way, he wouldn't do that to me or ever leave me for her or any other woman. That's what my mil doesn't seem to realize... that all this hocus pocus nonsense she does is a waste of time because end of the day, me and dh aren't splitting up! Period!

    My fil is mean, but not crazy. My mil is both mean and crazy. Mentally there is something not right... like when she goes around telling her villager neighbors about her pregnancy at 16, or trying to get pregnant again by doing xyz... all of which happened like 30 years ago. She makes people very uncomfortable by talking about sex and all that... like about honeymoon suites (i.e. my dh's) and about pregnancy attempts (i.e. hers and ex's)... and then she has a weird giggle and goes around giggling under her breath and lets her tounge hang out between her teeth for long time... but then will suddenly snap into being angry and beats her chest. I mean, really... is all that normal? Would a normal person look and act like that? My fil was practically disowned when his family found out what kind of maniac he had impregnated... they tried everything to get rid of her, but my fil felt responsible for the baby (my sil), so married my mil. To this day she's the family embarrassment. This sounds really mean, but she's just SO UNLIKEABLE.

    You guys are right... she's probably up to something with this wedding planning... and I don't want to know, and I don't want to find out. Better to avoid. She's a sick freak... no telling what type of madness this wedding stuff will send her into.
     
  3. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    ASG,

    You are empowering your mil to abuse you from the other end of the globe everytime you spend mental/emotional cycles over them. I doubt that it gives you any pleasure, more likely the opposite.

    You have made your position to them and your husband clear. So why spend regular cycles going over emotionally what they have done to you? Why relive the agony repeatedly mentally?
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2010
  4. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Only when questions are asked here on this forum do I think about them or bring up past incidents. Other than that, I think of them very rarely. They occupy a very small part of my mind now. It's just been a little worse lately because of 1) the Shobana incident and 2) this wedding crap. Now that both issues have been solved, I look forward to going back to normalcy. You're right... it's not healthy to keep rehashing their abuses... brings up lot of bad memories. :thumbsup
     
  5. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    Ethnic dress is always a turn-on so when you plan for a special romantic evening , get a pair of rajastani and gujarathi dress for that special day, don’t develop a aversion for ethnic dresses.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2010
  6. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Actually my hubby hates that Rajasthani/gujju village look. He much prefers me to wear western cocktail type dresses or jeans... the stuff I normally wear. I think he's had enough of the rajasthani gargara choli theme for a lifetime. :rotfl I do still have my wedding saree though, and plan to wear it next anniversary... with all the same jewellery too. Wonder what will be his reaction... it's been a long time since I've worn all that!
     
  7. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    LOL, do you still remember how to wear a saree?
     
  8. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Actually, yes! :)

    I lived in fear that nobody would be there (or want) to tie my beautiful wedding saree for me (and I was right!), so I practiced non stop before I got married, so on my wedding day it would be perfect. One time around tucked in, then around the back over the front shoulder, go back for the pleats, fix the front, pin it down, fan it out.... look at that! Told you so! :thumbsup

    Maybe I should think of an earlier occasion to wear it again, even if it's at home. I'm sure hubby would love to see it again! I even saved the exact same jewellery and shoes I wore. *sigh*
     
  9. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    You have given a new meaning to the phrase “practice makes a man perfect”
     
  10. arthidiva

    arthidiva Silver IL'ite

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    ASG, I am too late.. again! like all said and you have decided, a BIG FAT NO! to the grand wedding retelecast.. one other thing that has not been mentioned here - when you go on a vacation to India.. like one said, if MIL lives in the north, then visit south.. yes thats right but add this too - I think you will be safe and will have a lovely vacation if you both dont inform your in-laws that you are anywhere near India.. Isnt that simple to do?? why should they even know? may be if you or DH have anyone (wellwisher) near where you are vacationing, you could stay back with them while your DH can visit his parents (if and if he really wants to see them) for 2 or 3 days saying he is on official visit and cannot spend more than 2 days at home. hmmm i still think it is simpler not to inform them abt your trip at all.. imagine you are vacationing in Australia, would you bother to give your ILs the vacation details.. no na.. the feeling that your MIL is nowhere near you is very heartening.. have a blissful vacation!

    GiJoe, you are right.. ofcourse there is a custom in south where the brother of the bride washes the groom's feet and also the bride and the groom wash the parents feet and put a thilak to the feet as a token of respect and to seek their blessings. Yes, in Tamil Non-Brahmin weddings.. I had it in my wedding and I have seen it in all non-brahmin weddings I have been to.
     
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