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Inlaws demanding a second wedding ceremony!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by asuitablegirl, Mar 1, 2010.

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  1. Mar 3, 2010 #41
    asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    LBC,

    That sounds really nice and I think that's what we'll end up doing. Just so we can have the experience of taking the steps around the fire and exchanging garlands and all that. Doesn't matter to us if it's just the two of us present.. in fact it'd probably be better that way!
     
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    #41
  2. Mar 3, 2010 #42
    GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    When they get their son married, so now you know why the Indian society is obsessed about male child.
     
    GiJoe, Mar 3, 2010
    GiJoe, Mar 3, 2010
    #42
  3. Mar 3, 2010 #43
    neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ASG,

    I think another ceremony would not be advisable for inlaws/in their presence. You and DH can have a ceremony here in US in a temple.
    As far as India visit is concerned, you both can plan it later at your convenience.Dh can just visit his parents while you relax at your resort.
    Good that DH wil support you... ask him to say no to his parents and give an excuse that there is no money to spend on India trip/marriage ceremony now.
     
    neha1, Mar 3, 2010
    neha1, Mar 3, 2010
    #43
  4. Mar 3, 2010 #44
    GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    I could not resist asking you this question after reading your post, Is the dress in your profile picture Rajastani or Gujarathi?
     
    GiJoe, Mar 3, 2010
    GiJoe, Mar 3, 2010
    #44
  5. Mar 3, 2010 #45
    asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    GiJoe,

    I think the bride and groom should just purchase one big kiddie pool so everyone in the family can sit around it and rinse their own feet. In fact the whole ceremony could be done like that with everyone resting their feet in the pool. Throw in some tropical drinks and it might actually be fun!
     
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    #45
  6. Mar 3, 2010 #46
    asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Gijoe, it's the irony of my life. When I first registered here, I loved Rani Mukerji... and so I picked an avatar of her in which I thought she looked most beautiful. At that time I had no thought of whether it was Rajasthani picture or not. Later, I found out it was from movie PAHELI, about a RAJASTHANI woman. Yeah, I could have died when I realized that. So, I changed my avatar pic to one of Bipasha Basu in a pretty black cocktail dress... but after changing my picture, I got a lot of private messages (back when they were free) asking me to go back to my old picture as nobody recognized me! :bonk

    *sigh* so now I'm stuck with Rani wearing Rajasthani costume. The way I rationalize it to myself so I don't go nuts is... I don't have a problem with any state in India or any Indian... I have a problem with my mil's weird fixation and how she tries to hurt me using it. That's all. :)

    But so I don't have to relive the irony of chosing that dumb picture, why don't we just say to ourselves it's a Gujarathi costume. :thumbsup
     
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    asuitablegirl, Mar 3, 2010
    #46
  7. Mar 3, 2010 #47
    corallux

    corallux Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear ASG,

    My first time in this forum.

    When I read your thread, it was like," Is this for real?"

    My 2cents:

    Please do not got to India now. Wait till you are absolutely sure of your safety. There can be many nasty "accidents" that can be un explained.

    As for your MIL, she needs to see a psychiatrist soon (to cure her obsession for all things Rajasthani).

    Why worry when you have your hubby's support? Just cook up some excuse & STAY AWAY.

    Regards,

    Corallux
     
    corallux, Mar 3, 2010
    corallux, Mar 3, 2010
    #47
  8. Mar 3, 2010 #48
    BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    ASG,

    I did not realize that your in-laws are not rajasthani. This is the first time I have heard of parents wanting to follow wedding ceremonies of a state that they do not belong to.

    In my friends case, the parents were keen on doing the religious ceremonies and introduce the girl to the family and friends.

    Do not see any reason to go through with it since neither you nor your husband are too keen about it and it seems to eat into your plans of buying a home.
     
    BeeAmma, Mar 3, 2010
    BeeAmma, Mar 3, 2010
    #48
  9. Mar 3, 2010 #49
    Tara09

    Tara09 New IL'ite

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    GiJoe,

    Interesting Pics. I still do not know which of the states in south it is from.
    I know we did not have any such thing in our wedding though.....
     
    Tara09, Mar 3, 2010
    Tara09, Mar 3, 2010
    #49
  10. Mar 3, 2010 #50
    ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    GiJoe.. the couple in photo is too old to be the bride and groom...
    I think they are the old ones washing feet of the bride n groom

    In north india... gals side family washes feet of bride n groom in the process of KANYA DAAN.. treating the daughter as laxmi etc etc.. me n DH were really uneasy but I remember my parents, mom's bro n wife did it & then we just dint allow anyone else to pour in. Also its the day when people without daughter do it so that they also get a chance for kanya daan.. completely wierd & should be eradicated.

    ASG, Rajasthani/ marwari weddings are considered on a spendtrift & show off side... also till previous generation a gal born in this house was of lesser interest to her parents but being married off.. so all her education funds were queued up for the wedding day for a royal wedding.. Also as you mentioned that your MIL is no rajasthani but picks a culture of her choose & convinience it answeres most of her inclinations. Typically in most of Indian weddings gifts and gold is given to girl... but in rajasthani weddings even the groom is loaded with gold + cash + car + property & MIL takes full control of STREE DHAN.

    Once again whatever I wrote above is what I saw in my life & I detest myself & in no way support what happens :crazy.. I think I'll place it as a disclaimer to all my posts.
     
    ShilpaMa, Mar 3, 2010
    ShilpaMa, Mar 3, 2010
    #50
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