But we never planned on going to their house. Already his parents told me that ex came to the house as a new bride and "it was like welcoming a Goddess"... so I'm absolutely not interested in visiting their house and getting sucked into that emotional garbage. They are more than welcome to contact 'the Goddess' who is currently residing in New York, and maybe they can get her to visit. But I DONT WANT TO!!! And my dh is not going to even try to make me. So if we go on vacation... what could happen? Yes, that is why I think you are right and that I should say NO to this wedding drama. In fact if we plan on going to India for sight seeing tourist stuff, I think it's best if we go after the cousin's wedding is over so I won't have to see any of his family members at all. So do you think he would force me??? OMG!! That would be horrible. Even if he requested... couldn't I just say NO? He's not like a King who can chop off my head if I say 'no', right? If he ever pushed me into a situation with his parents again, where I felt like my life was in danger, it would be the end of our marriage. I love him A LOT, but I love being alive much more. What is best solution then... have him go to India by himself to see his parents, and then us go together at a later time? I think that's reasonable. That way when he is at parents place, I'm in US. And when we are in India, I won't be left alone or pressurized to see his parents. Actually, I don't think he's interested in spending all that money to JUST see his parents.... I think he was only planning on seeing them if it fit into our vacation itinerary. Probably my inlaws realize they are not on our priority list of 'things to see', and hence came up with this big wedding drama to try and get us to spend time with them. They like me because I'm like a punching bag. My mil is like a rabid chimp... if she doesn't sink her teeth into somebody at least couple times a year, she goes nuts. So I think she's just salivating at the thought of 1) seeing her son and 2) ripping me apart. Scary.