Inhumane attitude of MIL

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
Maybe laundry as well. ALso anything and everything that you'll buy but will never be offered to you.

 

There is a reason why this website was created and called IndusLADIES. It is meant for (Indian) women to air their problems, and seek help, if nothign else, simply to have an ear to listen to them talk. Men may not understand the way women process things, or feel about things. men and women are wired differently. Especially in India, married women have a lot of battles to face, given the inconsiderate family system in place (which in my personal opinion - echoed by many others - is to the advantage of the man, and to the disadvantage, even detriment of the woman). If a person (male/female/other) cannot understand someone's problem, they need not unnecessarily comment. if they do, and it is unpleasant/hurtful to the person who is sharing their problems, they should be prepared to hear unpleasant things from the OP/others who empathise.

Also, when someone is sufferring silently, sarcastic comments from an unconnected stranger who does not understand their problem will only provoke them to respond unhappily/angrily/etc.

 

Yes!!! I completely second each and every word that crazy writer has said.

Sadly victim blaming has become second nature to many, rather than helping a person find solutions it is much easier to say "you are so stupid, and that is why you deserve this treatment! Why did you even build expectations!"

 

I personally have seen few friends MIL acting even worst, They expect the DIL who comes after work to make tea for everybody. Its a culture thing I guess, they are ""ALL"" the same. Except the reality that they ARE like that universally in our country and do not expect anything from them. They won't do any good for you.

But your DH, his attitude is not right. He may not be a bad person, maybe he was never thought to empathize, or be protective. Talk to him politely and make him understand that it hurts you when he doesn't stand up for you. (It could be done politely as well, without him hurting his mom). For instance, the right thing for him to do would be, automatically pass half cup to you and tell his mom, thats okay he'll share with his wife. The mom would definitely get the point, and immediately she'll start preparing 1 more cup extra.

This is a very petty thing, do not create tensions between yourselves for this petty thing. Just make sure he understands. Come to acceptance about inlaws, you will be less disappointed

See whats your husbands reaction after explaining things to him. If he's not showing compassion, than you have to except the fact that, he's someone very Selfish and safeguard yourself. But I think he's just not aware that it hurts you, I'm sure he's a nice person.

 

You should really try this mimi77. Also, a slight modification. If they dont consider you family to make an extra cup of coffee for you, why would you, neither are you an unpaid chef for them. If you are anyway packing, breakfast, lunch and having dinner at your mom's house, the only reason you need to enter kitchen should be to cook anything for the baby. Why would you toil & moil in the kitchen for such people after a day's work when all of them relax .I think this is an opportunity for you to send a clear message to DH that their behavior has hurt you more deeply than he thinks and you are not going to just suck it up and play the servile & docile DIL. Let him know that such behavior has consequences.Be calm, but let your DH know that you have since his mom cannot cook for you, I will just have food from my home... just smile & say "This will be a good arrangement for all of us".

 

Decentguy has some sort of deathwish.. that makes him butt his head in every thread and give his "lovely" comments and earn brickbats from the ladies here in IL.. every single day...:bonk:bonk:bonk
(just kidding DG) :hiya U happy for the day?

 

Yes angelvoice..I have Sulemani Kida in me...:rotfl

Sometimes I wonder why do I post in threads like this where I know few females will corner me and bash me with sandals, brooms and what not..LOL:rotfl:rotfl

I also know no one likes me and my posts no matter how good they are.....cry....cry :bang.....I sometimes wish I was a female so that I can have my own group on IL and then do "likes" within each other's thread and posts.....Sigh .....Sigh..Other female members would have then supported me more...LOL

Tumhara khoon... khoon....mera khoon pani...tum karo toh abadi....hum karein toh barbadi... I don't want to translate this....Its sounds better this way :rotfl

When will I learn...sigh...sigh :-(

Can I change my nickname to Controversy Guy instead of DG ? :rotfl:rotfl