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Ingratitude?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by MULLAI62, Dec 6, 2020.

  1. MULLAI62

    MULLAI62 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear friends,
    I like to share this which is disturbing my mind for a few days.
    We were living together in a same quarters for 2 years. Her mother is a good friend of mine. She was my student. Then I have been moved from there but personally I went to invite both of my daughters marriages.
    After long time I mean after 15 years I helped her daughter to get a job through my brother since she was sitting idle. During that time she called me many times and her mother also called me over phone.
    Before 10 days she sent me a message through Whats app that she is going to marry and marriage information.
    I was waiting for her call at least from her parents. Nothing.
    I don't know what to do. But she is going to start a life so I sent wishes through Whats app and conveyed her that I was waiting for the call.
    It is a shock to me that she replied like this.
    Sorry . We could not call you.
    In what way shall I take this?
    Anything wrong in my expectation?
    It is disturbing still. Just I want to rub this from my mind. So I am sharing this.
    Small incident but I am confusing , is it irrespective, Ingratitude or careless?
    Whatever may be I am not happy about this.
    I feel it is a disgraceful attitude.
    Kindly share your views to clear my mind.
     
  2. Nuzhath

    Nuzhath Silver IL'ite

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    We should be equally detached. Happens. If you meet them again, just continue as if you were not hurt by their behaviour. Life moves too fast, to be bothered by such things. Next time, you do someone a favor, learn from this experience and do not expect any form of response. Even if you get it, just take it lightly.
    Also, with this pandemic situation, they may have had to constrain their guest list. Sometimes, the reasons will be simple.
     
    Amica and Vaikuntha like this.
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    I didn’t quite understand. They informed you of the marriage but didn’t call you for the wedding? If that is the case then it is likely due to pandemic because they would have had to restrict the guest list.
    I would also be relieved to not have to refuse the invitation to a crowded place at this time.
     
    satchitananda, Amica and Hopikrishnan like this.
  4. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    You mean a phone call and she took it as an invite for wedding?
     
  5. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    It can be seen in two ways. One, you helped them because you could and wanted and not because you wanted something in return as life long obligation, which is ideal. Two, you expect them to be obliged and appreciate it and keep in mind for ever. This sort of expectation is the cause of your anger or whatever. Do help people without any expectation.
    Added to this is the current situation where weddings have become a close family affair due to pandemic. Their informing you and, your acknowledging the same is enough. In your place, I wold have congratulated them and wished the best.
     
  6. MULLAI62

    MULLAI62 Platinum IL'ite

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  7. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    I think some of us (#metoo) got confused. The blue-call is just a voice over the telephone, but the red-call is an actual wedding invitation. The Covid situation is to blame for families to have a small gathering in such events. Even Funeral wakes do not recommend inviting many. Since funerals do not need invitations, the bereaved family is required to explicitly tell people not to come.

    The one fault I can surely find with the whatsapp messaging bride is that she should have told whomever she wrote whatsapp messages, that they are forced to limit the number of people at the wedding venue, and the reason. The "Sorry we could not call you" without a reason/excuse to explain that is indeed too curt. OP is justified in feeling peeved and hurt.
     
    Amica, Needtobestrong and Mistt like this.
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Nowadays wedding invitations are sent through Whatsapp or as email instead of through the post. There is nothing wrong with it. We are supposed to treat Whatsapp messages as wedding invites.
     
  9. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Mulla ,
    During this pandemic many things have changed including our way of life.
    You have helped them long back. Fine. But no expectations back...especially during Corona time. Whatsapp invitations are for informing that she/he are getting married. Not to take part in it. People also are not attending. Why take risk? We have heard about many cases due to birthday parties, weddings etc. New normal is send best wishes through whatsapp or E Mail. It would be like that for coming many many more months. Nobody visits even other's house. Not safe too.
    So...do not think too much about it.
    Syamala
     
    Amica likes this.
  10. MULLAI62

    MULLAI62 Platinum IL'ite

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    Friend,
    Practically what will happen?

    If I were in her place my attitude would be totally different.

    During pandemic I am not going to move from my place.

    What's the point here is, she is going to marry, if she called me and spend a few minutes, I would have blessed happily.

    Now I wished her but with a little pain through message.

    Nowadays people failed to recognize their real well wishers.

    No it is not fair.

    Don't worry friend. Whatever may be, which disturbs you, just remove it from your eyes. Yes I have forgotten.

    Thank you so much.
     

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