Informing DH

coolsandy · Jun 28, 2015

I have recently heard about an incident from a colleague. They have had school reunion and 60% of her classmates showed up.

A few days later, one of their classmates, Vamsi calls up another classmate, Vidya. Vamsi is kind of stupid, crazy and a bad fellow. He is married and has two kids. Vidya is a decently beautiful woman with a nice family and two wonderful daughters. Both of them spoke to each other just the way she did with other classmates too. Even during school days, they spoke to each other but as classmates and nothing really went on between them.

So, about that call. After talking for a while, he pops up a question, "Hey, Vidya.. is your husband keeping you happy??". She scolded him for being so rude and asking such stupid questions. She informed other girls about that incident and warned to stay away from him. But, she has not informed her DH about this.

After a little thought, I was like, may be she should have informed her DH. But somewhere, I think she did the right thing by not informing him. How important is it to discuss such delicate incidents with her DH? afaik, her DH seems to be a good person. What would you do if you were in Vidya's place?

Cool10 · Jun 28, 2015

The guy just called one time and she scolded him. I don't think he will cause further problems or call her. So no need to alarm her H. If he calls her again or bothers again, then she can inform her H.

Hyral · Jun 29, 2015

Or may be if her DH asks her about the reunion gathering...how did it go etc..i guess they might have already discussed about reunion except for abt this guy....so not sure to pop up the same topic again...but still if that happens , she can say it casually ....like "some guys and gals have really grown mature and good and here there a some who doesn't change are same way they were since college days...so here one guy had guts to ask me such stupid question...and I asked him to keep away from such stupid questions..." if her DH says so wht you should have said naa how much happy you are etc...she can reply her DH 'I love you and am very very happy with you....why do I need to keep vouching for same to others especially to one who is not even a friend to me'

SGBV · Jun 29, 2015

What is so rude about asking that question? I failed to understand. Someone please enlighten me?

Many of my friends, of course the ones who haven't met me in years have asked this questions before? "Hey, are you happy? Seems your husband keeps you happy? Hey, you have become so fat, perhaps your husband keeps you happy?
Hey, what's this dark circle? seems your husband isn't keeping you well... These were some silly questions though. They don't need any honest answers.

They say, real friends may meet after many years, but they can converse the same as they did when they departed. That is true.

Her friend once over the phone asked her whether her husband keeps her happy. I don't think it is necessary to get the other meaning of it. Just tell him "Yes, I am happily married". That would end the story there.
No need to tell this to friends, feel offended and also take it to husband with regret.

If I were you, I would tell my H " hey, my School friend X asked me whether you are keeping me happy? What should I say..:" in a funny way. And he would have replied " Oh.. Give his no.. I will tell him how much I struggle to keep this tearbox happy all the time. It would have been ended with a funny tone anyway. Why take life so serious. ??

bulesha · Jun 29, 2015

I should have said, ya my DH is keeping me happy. What a big deal!

Hyral · Jun 29, 2015

When I read OP's post regarding this lady being asked this question...I too felt same that the other guy would have asked casually....wht if its not so casual...not sure here...coz this is actually not the situation of OP. She posted as to know views.....

@SGBV lol...what you said makes sense....

coolsandy · Jun 29, 2015

@Cool10, @Hyral, @sgbv, @bulesha

Thank you all for your inputs. What I have narrated is an incident that I heard from a third person. So, I really can't tell you if it was a casual question or if there was any bad intention behind it. But, the way it was narrated to me, it definitely was in that double meaning types. Hence, this post.

But, what I have heard is, Vidya created a scene about this, cried a lot, informed another girl classmate, Vandana about it. Vandana created more scene about this and scolded that guy a lot. All in all, every classmate knows about this incident except for Vidya's DH.

This was a very casual post, just trying to know how one would handle such situations, assuming it was a casual one or with dirty intentions.

shruti1487 · Jun 30, 2015

May be that guy got to know something from someone about her husband at the reunion and asked it out of concern...if the guy was notorious during school time doesn't mean he is notorious even now. Even if he asked with dirty intentions..why to create a hype of it by crying and informing the ladies..she should have handled the question herself and told him that she is happy and ended the matter there. As you said all the world knows about it except her husband shows that she trusts other ladies more than her husband. Her husband is her life partner and she should be open to confide in him over these sensitive issues. In the end this is my thinking that a husband and wife should be open towards these sensitive issues and understand each other and take decisions mutually.

Let's reverse the matter and say a lady asks her husband this same question with whatever intention..would she like the fact that such type of thing was hidden from her except the whole world?

jmsd · Jul 2, 2015

We do not know the tone of the question here.
If it was in a casual or fun way then the girl probably overreacted.
If it was otherwise or to hit on her ,she already snubbed him.
What has the poor husband got to do with it?Why bombard him with every minor detail?