Influences on Life

Anandchitra · Mar 29, 2008

As I raise my child and watch my niece and nephew growing up, I can see clearly how people and circumstances shape and mould a child .. So many factors are influencing a young ones mind. I know I can reflect on some factors for example..My mother gives so much importance to cooking food and especially making dinner everyday- And there I might have got the habit of making sure I cook at home everyday but for some exception; One act of hers that has definetly impacted me would be her conducting "devasam".. I remember being small and wondered why everyone got up so early and kept on cooking..But this trait came in handy when my turn came. My parents are very religious and so my involvement in religion. My grandparents used to take me to satsang and all discourses in the temple all the time and my involvement in being spiritual. (Did anyone catch me noting only good points here?!:biggrin2:
My husband is very outgoing and friendly and so I am little bit better than what i used to be.. My mother inlaw used to outreach others easily and always wanted to help the people who worked for her..I did get some of it..From my FIL ofcourse all cooking related discipline upto cutting vegetables and such.. My son has his interest inMath from his father and outgoing attitude from my inlaws.. He always arranges his things meticulously and I know somehow he has been influenced by my FIL..
Isnt interesting to note the subtle but real influences in life..Sometime teachers play a great role in this too. My son has an excellent history teacher and she excels in the art of story telling. With that and an active imagination my son is fond of history. My dh loves to garden and tinker with tools and those are interests from his father. His love of music is from his mother.Even now my dh remembers his Math teachers who ignited in him the love and passion for Math.
Not the least in this list would be my brothers dog. The dog is so loving to one and all and never demands anything from anyone. He is very happy when we play with him and attend to him but is fine to lie beside your feet otherwise. What great influence is that? Some people who are public figures also play as role model in our life. Could be high achieving as Indra Nooyi or a great actress or actor too! Have you ever thought where from a particular interest came into your life? How did you develop it..who influenced you to pursue it? So, why dont you share some influences on your life be it friend, family or teacher...

Devika Menon · Mar 29, 2008

Dear Anand chitra,

Lovely post.I enjoyed every word youve written.
Well as you travel through the relations of life and from one to another you watch and sdopt a lot of things from other, the so called influences with out realising that you are being influenced. Like for eg When I was unmarried I watched my mothr multitask and perform her duties very perfectly and wondered why she did so much and now when I am playing the roles she once played I realise that it comes to me with relative ease because of my mothers influence.
My greatest influence in life is my Father , with whom God permitted a vry short time but fruitful enough to be influenced by some qualities that i am glad i posses . Call it influence or genetics though I prefer the former.
Yes my teachers have also influenced me to a great extent , especially in honing my skills.
Friends ,well friends I had were always like minded so I wont necessarily consider them to have had any influence on me.
But the most surprising influence has been my young daughter , Neiv,who has taught me to laugh a lot and I have learnt to forgive and forget a lot more easily and move on seeing my child do the same.
So you see dear my influences range from a tiny tot to a sexagenarian.
Sorry for the loooonnnnggg reply but just couldnt hold myself!

Love,
Devika

sundarusha · Mar 29, 2008

Dear Chitra,

Isn't it Hillary Clinton who once said " It takes a village to raise a child?
My mother has influenced in me in cooking and other household maintenance. Growing up, I thought I was not going to be good in the Kitchen section, but somehow I have subconsciously followed her.
My father has greatly influenced in me with his organizational skills , time management and love for travel. Both have influenced a great deal when it comes to religion an morals.
In their own way, my husband and kids have also influenced me.
But I also notice, that children sometimes may not develop the same talent as their parents, but they will possess talents in a different area.

Anandchitra · Mar 29, 2008

I am very grateful for your long reply..never thought I'd get the appreciation.. thank you dear Devika.. It is extemely interesting what you write about your daughter.. I agree how the children can influence us.. One of the incidents I remember the most was when son was around 4 or so.. we had guests and a kid spilt something on the carpet.. I said its o.k. and cleaned up with smile.. so my son asked when we spill something you get upset but if its someone from outside you dont? .. made me really think.. ever since then I have eyes set on the correct priorities.. first my family ALWAYS.. I am sorry you did not have as much time with your father.. I think its the influence for sure and not genetics as much.. And you have brought about a great point on friends.. we do tend to have like minded so they might not contribute as much.. Please next time do write as much as you desire as i realise NOW that the posts and threads here too influence!

Anandchitra · Mar 29, 2008

It does take a village to raise a child.. thank yu for yur very endearing reply my young friend Usha.. sometimes children too take on other interests and have other talents too..that is quite natural..I just noticed that you do scrapbooking also.. that is my absolute number one hobby.. done many..but yet to do my wedding album.. hope to get it done before 25wa.. sorry to deviate.. One thing about mothers and cooking is that my mother used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen..i certainly DONT.. i am famous for my 30 minutes meals (which for the most part is rasam + veg + rice).. while rasam an cooker are going i cut veggies and then voila i am done..never cease to amaze my father.. (o.k.enough about me)..I will give you a nice reply real sooooon..thank u friend

sundarusha · Mar 29, 2008

Few years ago, when scrapbooking was just beginning, the neighborhood store offered some free lessons before the holiday season. So I enrolled. Soon after that, I converted all our photos that were clinging on to sticker albums( yuck) into designer albums., I even went as far as coloring old B&W photos of our parents'wedding pictures. My DH, even though very appreciative commented 'BTW, have you noticed lately how much your hobby is costing" and quickly went and got me a digital camera saying that he was saving me time. My son even now comments that it is fun to look at them whereas before he was not motivated.
But it is time consuming. Occasionally I stop at the store and have noticed that they have up with so many tools and options. Some of the ladies spend so much time and money like their life depends on them.

Anandchitra · Mar 29, 2008

You have said it right.. some ladies do overdo it..I have a few stores where I get wholesale price and always get on discounts.. But its really nice to look back on some especially when I journal extensively..and i do it more for my dh as he loves to see them.. Its quite easy to get carried away and again there is so much new in the market..thanks Usha..glad to chat a little about common interests

sudhavnarasimhan · Mar 29, 2008

Dear AC,

That was a good topic, to mull on the real influences in our life. Well written.....Bow

True that as a child we get influenced very fast....so if we have had some good traits, we should be thankful to our parents for keeping us away from outside bad influences, isn't it?
I am glad now that my mother pushed me into dancing( though there were occasions when i would hide in the bathroom, as i was scared of my dance master!:hide
Later on also i kept at it only at the insistence of my mom, who loved this art form and could not pursue it! Am i glad for that now! Like wise i learnt a lot from my father......to be calm and brave , listen patiently to others without judging anyone....
Of course my teachers were my greatest influencers.....so many of them came in my life .....cant list here. But good time to think about them and send a silent Thank you to all of them. Not to mention, my DH and DD and my friends and of course IL:::What a great influence they are ALL ! Isn't it!
True we get shaped by all these influences! Now our turn......to be Good individuals and spread some good influence around us!

Anandchitra · Mar 29, 2008

Sudha you really are like your avatar..such a pretty pretty rose blooming so gently..your words about mother touches a chord in me..as I hope to be that someday.. I was always told growing that i wouldnt amount to much..so I want to do different for my kid.. you have so nicely said about your dad and friends and family

Devika Menon · Mar 30, 2008

Dear Anandchithra,

I didnt mean overstay your welcome but I had to come here again .
The reason I forgot to mention a lady who was very instrumental in my upbringing, and if I will not mention her here I will never be able to face God.
When I was a toddler ,my mother kept me under the care of a lady from Australia,Mrs. D'sa. A wonderful lady she took care of me till the age of 10 , thereafter too she was a major part of my life. She is highly responsible for a lot of good things that happened in my life. She left India when I was 15 and then we lost track ,I just once recieved a message from her daughter that they were planning to move out . But then lost touch.Though I tried to get in touch later ,my efforts were futile. Mrs. D'sa wherever you are I may not be able to convey this to you personally but in my heart,I shall forever be indebted.
Anandchithra I am sorry for trespassing again!

Love,
Devika