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Influence of parents conduct on Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Viswamitra, Aug 18, 2012.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Bhavna,

    Very well said. The life becomes sacrifice after a child is born. I agree both parents need to be in the same page as far as disciplines are concerned. In some cases, even if the parents are in same page, someone else like grandparents who reside with them may be lenient. As far children are concerned, it is best if we let the parents decide on the disciplines.

    It is natural to have differences among parents about how to raise children as they are from two different family values. However, it is important it is resolved separately in the absence of the children. Children are the smartest and once they see the differences among the parents, they know how to use one against the other. They don't do it with bad intention to split the parents but just to get what they want. Sometimes what is communicated through time outs and yelling could be easily achieved through making the child sit on the lap, divert their mind to something else and come back to communicate the lesson when they are in a different frame of mind. I notice that the present generation of parents are very good in doing that.

    Viswa
     
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear VJ,

    Thank you for your additional comments and it is wonderful too.

    Viswa
     
  3. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswamitra,

    As already mentioned elsewhere by me, you are indeed the flavor of the month. Please accept one more dose of Congratulations for this post nominated by VJbunny!!

    'Practice what you preach' is a famous adage and who can deny those words? Parents should set an example for their children to imbibe. Even if they do not follow the same steps, they at least should stop and think about parents' words before they proceed. Well, in the least, one can aspire to set a good example to one's offspring. If the children will really follow their parent's words and acts is left to fate, one can only hope they do!

    You are very sincere in your advise and I for one would like to believe that good begets good!

    L, Kamla
     
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  4. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    viswa sir,agree with each and every point you have mentioned...wonderful blog for young parents like me
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamla,

    I can't thank enough for your kind words. Even if the children don't follow the good actions of the parents, heaven is not going to fall. One thing that parents will have to make absolute sure is not to let children pickup any bad actions of theirs. In my recent response to a fellow ILite, I wrote that whether I follow the standards set by my father or not, I always think about how he would have handled similar situation whenever I face a problem in my life. That I consider a victory to the character built by my father and my life can be considered successful only when my son thinks about me in similar situation.

    Viswa
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sushma,

    Your words of appreciation means a lot to me and thank you for your kind words. I know younger parents are smarter and are very capable of raising their children better than what I did to raise my son. That is all the more reason why I feel very elated when I hear words of appreciation from parents like you.

    Viswa
     
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  7. Archies123

    Archies123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Viswa Sir,

    Well written sir. Because I have already come across this. My 10 year old boy has turned out to be a violent and adamant child. I kept thinking where I went wrong. I was preaching him a lot. His performance in school declined badly. That time I was helpless as he was not listening to me. Then I corrected myself.....stopped preaching and adopted the lifestyle I wanted to teach him. Instead of instructing him on everything I gave him small space....(for improvement also) and he is improving.
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dar Archie,

    Thank you for reading this post and sharing your experience. Nothing will be more satisfying than learning about someone's experience of a parent being a role model to her child. God Bless you and your son with the best. I am sure he would make you very proud as he grows even further.

    Viswa
     
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  9. Archies123

    Archies123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Sir,

    Always be with us for your precious suggestions.
     
  10. Archies123

    Archies123 Bronze IL'ite

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    As we have discussed earlier that children behave in the same manner....the parents do. I am also trying to evolve myself as a good mother. These days I have started preaching myself more........what should be done and what shouldn't so that my child could get good upbringing. I am trying hard to stay away of automatic pilot mode behavior......keep scrutinizing my every expression. But.........yesterday my son lied to me for just a stupid coke.
    I know he is fond of drinking all these Pepsi, coke, fanta....and all that. Yesterday I gave him some money to buy a notebook. I gave him some extra money as I didn't have change. When he came back from school....he told me the shopkeeper charged double money for it. I was surprised. How could he do that ? I planned to visit schoolshop......he replied...no need to go that lady is mannerless and would shout. I kept enquiring my son....that he should grow like a responsible person. Too much inquiry lead to the disclosure of truth. He spent money on coke. I scolded him because I don't want him to grow this way. In his defense he said that some of his friends were bringing money everyday. I am worried not because he spent the money for a rubbish purpose.......but the way he lied. It was a mere cold drink for which he planned to befool me......he might get bigger attractions in life, what will he do then. What should I do now ? What should be my plan of action? Or this incident should be forgotten as child's play. Please suggest.
     

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