Infertility - social and family aspects

Hello

I am also married 4 years ago and yet to be blessed with a child. We are consulting the doctors also.

Last month we had been to Garbarakshambigai temple and performed the pooja. We got that Ghee and we had it for 45 days.

We had also gone to Sreerkazhi and the temple name is Sattanadhar Temple (I think. I forgot the name of the temple. The following is the puranam for the temple) This temple is also for the child birth.

Deity is Brahmapureeswarar and the goddess as Thirunilai Nayaki. There are other deities known as Thoniappar and Sattainathar worshipped here. This is also the birthplace of the famous saint Gnanasambanthar.

When Sambanthar was three years old he accompanied his father to the temple. The father Sivapatha Iruthayar, got into the water in the temple 'theertham' for his ablution before commencing 'pooja' in the temple. He immersed himself in water and was absorbed in his prayer. Young Sambandar became alarmed when he did not see his father for a long time and called out, "Ammah, Appah". His father did not hear the call from Sambanthar and continued with his prayer. When his father did not appear Sambanthar started wailing. At this moment Lord Shiva appeared with his consort. The Mother Goddess produced some milk in a golden vessel and gave it to Sambanthar to console him. When the father came out of the water he saw milk in the corners of the child's mouth. He was first intrigued but later became angry as he suspected that someone of a lesser caste had fed his son with milk in violation of the practice among their creed. He demanded the child to reveal the identity of the person who fed him with milk. Sambanthar then opened his mouth and sang a hymn in praise of Lord Shiva pointing at the direction of the temple. Sivapatha Iruthayar realised that his son had not only received milk from the almighty but also 'gnanam' (wisdom) by the grace of God.

2) Pls chant this sloka also.

RAMA RAGHAVA GOVINDA
DEVIKI SUDA MATHAVA
THEKIME THANAYAM SHEE SA
GOPA BALAKA NAYAKA.

The above sloka is for Lord Krishna and should chant 18 times in the morning. After that u can chant it many times.

Lets pray God for the child.

Sudha.

 

Hey I am planning to go to Garbharakshambika temple from hyd, have done reservation till chennai as read on site have to go from chennai.

Please tell me how to reach there from chennai and is there any other place to visit . I would be there for only 2 dys trip just to do the pooja ....

What all would i have to do there apart from offering ghee.. would there be language prob as i don't know tamil...

 

Hey Pooja,

Thanks for info, I don't know about others but in my case we both are medically fit but still couldn't concieve unfortunately...

Hey in india also I have seen the doc first get male test then only they go ahead with other things, India is no more as it used to be Doc are smart enough now....

 

TTC but people around make the situation worst.

hi,

I am 28 yrs old , married for 4 years. We are TTC for few months consulted doc and taking prenatal for health.I used to go for job earlier so did not try 'very actively' .
Now I quit my job and at home with my DH , and trying every alternative days. But back in India , some kith and kins are started some bad mouths which hurts my mom there ..even though I was fury but cannot help it , as we are also trying but its GOD's gift ,so far we both had no health issues , no miss carriages at all , we both are healthy.

Iam a 'Who cares' kind of women but sometimes I am upset because of those cheap people.

this makes me stressed out sometimes.....

Now , I am trying to do some career related stuff but these cheap chit chats putting me off.
i dono how to handle it !!!!!

anyone in the same situation or how will you handle these type of SENSITIVE Issues ???
I live in abroad and here people will not intrude in your personal life unless you say , but this I hate in India , where people are 80% nosy neighbours!!!!

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.


padma,

there is nothing we can do except neglect such people.
Everyone struggling in TTC will go thru this phase and we can not really do anything other than ignoring or avoiding such people.

hope you come out of this phase soon.

baby dust to you.

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.

You just have to remain cool in this situation. Since you are abroad you dont have to bother about people. Here in U.S. nobody will even dare to ask you such questions. So carry on with your career. for people and society in india, you dont have to sacrifice your job abroad. Just have a good ob gynec to guide you in ttc. Baby dust to you.

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.

Dear Padma
Welcome to the club..

Unfortunately there is no solution to this never-ending problem.
But we do have a choice that we can make. Cease to treat this as a problem. Just pretend these people dont exist or you did not hear what they are saying. We already have enough things to worry about our TTC. We definitely do not need additional tensions.

Please let your Mom also know to ignore these comments and you will let those people know when there is some 'good news' and till then ask her not to relay all their comments/questions to you. When someone asks this to you over phone or in person, just smile and dont respond or tell them you will be the first to know.

Refer to these threads..

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/fertility-and-trying-to-conceive/724-infertility-social-and-family-aspects.html

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/fertility-and-trying-to-conceive/48807-newlyweds-arent-we-supposed-leave.html

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/fertility-and-trying-to-conceive/79415-how-to-support-those-ttc.html

They might help you.

Dont worry. these people will always keep poking their noses in our lives - kids or no kids.. Concentrate all your energy on your TTC and health.

baby dust to you

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.

Dear Padma3,

I am in the same boat like you. I am 29 and TTC for 2.5 years,married for 4 .5 years. Done with 3 rounds of IUI and now waiting for IVF to begin in few months. All my cousins who got married after me have a kid or atleast expecting one very soon. I know my parents and inlaws are worried, but they know the pain I undergo for this treatment and I get their full support. In my office also there are many who got married after me and already have a kid or even two. Though they do not openly ask me, I know people are just curious, whenever I hear that someone's HPT is +ve in office or relation I am happy for them but upset internally. Why is that its not happening only for me? Then realised I will get into a deep depression if things continue and I told myself concentrate on something that will get me off from this. So I started thinking positvely(not a easy one to start with , I am spending quality time with DH, concentrating on weight reduction (TTC medicines and injections made my weight go up by 7kgs) and excelling in my official work. Spending time with dh, have made our married life very healthy, my weight reduction has resulted in people complimenting me that I looking slim and sleek. And ofcourse I am excelling in office work.

This also means, I am concentrating on further steps on TTC, i am a staunch beliver of God and have a strong belief all tough phases are for some good thing. I am trying to convert my failures as stepping stones for success. Just ignore the people around you and keep moving, initially it may be difficult but you can make it. :thumbsup

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.

there are people in this world who look for a reason to hurt others ignore them..good that you are not here and if anyone asks your mom let your mom say you both are busy with careers and will plan kids at later times ..but dont consider all those comments as they wont help you in any ways..god is great.trust god i am sure everything wll be in place soon.all the best :thumbsup

 

Re: TTC but people around make the situation worst.

Hi Padma,
This is a situation which is faced by almost all the ladies who are in TTC... Immediately after marriage they start asking about Good News..
There are many hurting situation happened to me, though i wont show that before them, i feel upset whenever some one ask.. The right way is just ignore..
Its going to be 5 yrs since we married, i couldn still believe its 5 yrs already.. this is more than enough for a talk when we visit there, some ask out of real love, but some just for gossips...
Leave everything in God's hand even my Dr says to me, nothing is in her hands she can only give medicines and guide me rest everything should be done by HIM.. I feel our right time is approaching.. that too very soon...

Just ignore their question, even if they ask tell them, very soon...