Inferiority Complex

iyerviji · Jan 21, 2019

Education - Why I have inferiority complex

I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I know many are not born . Since we were not well off during my childhood I had the inferiority complex and never used to talk much. Get scared to talk , feel odd when among rich people. Since I studied in a Convent School , thanks to the aunty who got admission in the same school as in between when I was in 3rd standard my uncle lost his hotel with whom we were staying and we shifted to a different place and my father had to work in a canteen as acook making sweets, he was expert in making Jilebi. One year we were at home, our neighbour aunty put us in school again . In School there was no problem because everyone wore school dress , but on Saturdays we had to wear any dress and I used to feel I did not have much clothes to wear. Those days dresses were bought only for Diwali.

While studying I never used to learn the meaning of the subjects but I was good in byhearting so used to write the same whatever in the book. I was good in Maths so no byhearting and you cant byheart also. Being a Leo I had Leo qualities in me and want to be always the best and on the Top. In Hindi while writing essays I used to refer other books and write essays and my Hindi teacher was very satisfied with me and use dto tell me after Xth you go to College u will get scholarship. But I could not go to college because in our days parents used to feel for girls studying upto Xth is more than enough and then they want to get them married. I got a job as a Teacher , since I was very shy and had no patience of preparing notes etc I did not like the job though my students were very fond of me. I told my father I dont want to work as a Teacher. The Supervisor used to come to see how we teach but somehow I used to give something to write to the children so that Supervisor wont be able to see. Actually being very shy and nervous Teaching job was not good for me but after I left I used to give tuitions to my friend's relatives. When I had gone for her son's marriage by that time her niece and nephews whom I used to teach had grown up and had their own children and her nephew introduced to his son and told him this aunty only taught me and whatever I am teaching is taught by her. I felt so nice hearing this.

Through my brother I got a job as a Typist which I had learnt after Xth. In the first job I had to sit in front of the boss because there were very few people and on eroom only. I used to feel very nervous and any problems I used to ask my colleaugue. Then we shifted to Mumbai and in two days I got another job because of the recommendation of the boss in Hyderabad were I worked. First I joined as a Typist, then with the recommendation of my bosses was promoted as Steno and then as Senior Assistant. When others became officers I used to feel if I was aGraduate I would have got Officer post.

anika987 · Jan 21, 2019

There is no end to education vijima..

Honestly even if one does extremely well..they won’t be happy coz the next generation will do better..

Those days even a b sc was considered amazing..

Next generation a B.E was awesome..

Then a B.E and a M.S..

But now a B.E,M.S and a MBA..

And one wants a very high paying job which requires lot of travel etc ,stressful job and in some cases no family life balance..

Then some have debts to clear for all the education..

Anyways..Even if you have got officer post now you would have retirement life and life will still be the same

Yes..education is very important but what is more Important is contentment.

Life these days is nothing but a rat race.

You are a wonderful,dignified woman,lovely heartfelt posts and is loved by all here in IL and am sure peers near your home too.

You are a success in our eyes vijima

iyerviji · Jan 21, 2019

Thanks @anika987 for your first and loving feedback.Busy in cooking will reply later

jyotiparab · Jan 21, 2019

beautiful post vijima...simple and straight direct from the heart

GeetaKashyap · Jan 21, 2019

After reading your article, I was trying to understand the difference between qualification and 'education'. My understanding is, education is at the mind and soul level, while qualification is at the body level. Everything you have mentioned here is relatable and understandable. Your experience can be a guiding light for others, dear Vijima @iyerviji.

Amulet · Jan 21, 2019

It was lucky for the poor child to get a convent education. And move to white-collar office work in a business in Bombay. It was fortunate that she didn't get married off to someone in some backwater town in the southern part of India, and suffer the life of a home-maker with four children, and not much to eat.

@iyerviji At points in each life, we take stock (Assets-Liabilities) and that gives us the two options to look at the equity we had built up: either the cup is half full, or it is half empty.

Your experience would surely help IL'ites think a little more before posting on their life's minor misfortunes.

satchitananda · Jan 21, 2019

Dear Vijima,

like Geeta says, 'qualifications' are only material achievements. Grace, dignity, honesty, integrity are all qualities that are ingrained and make up the character of a person. That, Vijima, you have plenty of. So no worries. People with a the highest qualifications are not necessarily the best people around. Don't we see enough of them around?

Cheeniya · Jan 21, 2019

My dear Viji
You often write about your difficult childhood. I was no better off. But it never gave me inferiority complex. Complex, be it inferiority or superiority, is a bad thing. Never indulge in self pity. You write in English fluently but my wife cannot. She was a Tamil medium schooler but she never let that bother her. Even today, she converses only in Tamil but she can be comfortable in any gathering. You have met her.
I remember a story. A man was wailing that he had no proper footwear. But when he saw a man with no legs, he became tongue-tied and grateful. It's just a question of perception. Look back at the road you have travelled and be happy.
Sri

GeetaKashyap · Jan 21, 2019

Dear Vijima @iyerviji ,

In the nomination thread you said, "Thanks very much Geeta I was thinking having inferioritycomplex is good or not. It depends I think in whatcircumstances we are brought up"

As you said, mental complexities depend on our own circumstances; order of birth, sex, parental attitudes, time/period, relationships and beyond everything it depends on our own peceptions/karmas and how we internalise it. No two persons perceive the same circumstance in the same way. As long as we are ready to work on improving ourselves till our grave, I think we are fine. We can call ourselves- "work in progress". I think our evolution is akin to a rocket entering space. We have to shed our various bad parts/unnecessary burdens and move on.

I understand your view point.

Bujji32786 · Jan 21, 2019

Well said..
I know a lady who sells tea and returned 100 rupee to me even though she will not see me again, sent the money through her son to my home. I still remember that lady when thinking of class.