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Indusladies Will You Let Me Delete My Account? This Is Scary Than Cambridge Analytica Identity Theft

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lukywife, Apr 22, 2020.

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  1. hino

    hino Silver IL'ite

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    few years back, IL's requested App and its convenient. Moderators/admin least bothered. Maintaining app is expensive than web series.

    Now asking for changes in privacy rights. Moderator clearly said, protecting privileged people rights.

    This website is for venting out your problems and not for suggesting what admins should do ...:BangHead: . Now lets get back to work
     
    GoogleGlass likes this.
  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Two things that surprise me, this thread is not closed yet ( miracles happen!) and
    that there are so many useful suggestions/ questions but moderators do not have a logical response yet.

    @yellowmango I have long suspected the rag user to be a chachi/mami ( or mama) of the moderator. He/She gets away with belittling people all the time but gets to stay around or come back ( no useful suggestions ever).

    Then there are decoy employees that ask random questions just to keep the site busy. There is one member that only asks questions about every damn thing under the sun. Why not hire a bunch of decoy employees to increase site traffic and let the genuine user decide when they want to leave.

    It is useful to read a old users posts, but the posts should remain only with the permission of the user. I have written things during extreme stressful situations, does not mean that my thoughts become Indusladies property forever.

    The first step for new users is to notify in big bold fonts that their accounts cannot be deleted and that posts cannot be edited after a short window. Don’t include it in fine print under terms and conditions and then say, we told you so. Very unethical.
     
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    People often ask for a solution in a time of need. Once the issue is resolved or the poster decides to move on what is the need to preserve these words for posterity? It isn’t exactly a sermon from the Lord. And not everyone is going to do this, just people in situations where it may create problems in their real life.
    There can at least be a trial of the extended edit option.
     
  4. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hope you are completely aware of this thread @Jey
     
  5. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    the problem is every thing written here is searchable using google where a user can read and find information even without creating a username or password .

    it is high time things change here . What is this nonsense of asking nice . It is our right . We don’t need to ask nice . It is not like IL is my MIL to ask nice . How can we even make such a suggestion ?
     
    sbonigala and shravs3 like this.
  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    If I remember when 3 users were removed all their post including their valuable contributions were removed . So that time we are not worried about the absence of said content in 100 days of positivity thread.

    these forums are based on templates . They don’t need to make any changes in code . Just enable and disable flag .
     
    sbonigala and shravs3 like this.
  7. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    The user lukywife has not posted in any other forum other than posting about her issues in relationship forum . So the argument her contribution to other places might be lost is not even true in her case .
     
    sbonigala likes this.
  8. startinganew

    startinganew Finest Post Winner

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    I completely understand the need for a user to want to delete their account if they come to know that their family or relationships are at stake.

    But the value of IL is, in fact, the extremely personal nature of details being shared here. I don't see any incentive for Indus Ladies to allow account deletions. (even if it seems unfair to its users)

    This is not a question of "goodwill" for users or a user's rights. We have to remember that IL is free. There is a quote: If a product is free, you are the product. So the cost of getting all this free advice and expertise from around the word *is* the fact that we are willing to put ourselves out here.
    If we were all paying a membership fee then there can be a protocol and ways to make such member requests. Then a systematic approach to the cost and benefit of implementing each request could be made and undertaken.

    So the question is how do we come up with a solution that benefits IL (no deterioration of its content) and it's users' privacy?

    One thing I've missed in IL for a long while is the ability to allow for anonymous posts.

    What if every user could post 1 anonymous thread every month/3 months? This way user's can still preserve their user-ids personas for casual questions - but have to use their anonymous quota for serious aspects of their life where privacy is of high-concern.

    How this "anonymous" posting will be implemented fairly (the technical/database storage/any admin involvement, etc) needs a lot of thought, discussions and technical expertise.

    Pros of allowing limited anonymous posts:
    1. Users don't need to create throwaway accounts
    2. Users who are unaware of ILs posts being google-searchable, users who use real names and mistakenly think this is an unknown corner of the Internet where they cannot be found, etc - can be told about this in the initial membership creation stage.
    3. User's whose family members are on the forum can still ask tricky questions (with some details changed even in their anonymous posts)
    4. Preservation of user personas - Getting advice from member X matters to me because I quickly scan through their posts and get to understand their place in life and their experiences. Their advice matters to me because of where they are coming from.


    Cons of allowing limited anonymous posts:
    - Lots of software dev/testing work involved in the website's backend. Who will pay for this? How to convince IL that this is a necessary feature? Even without this feature, IL has had some level of high quality posts - so what would motivate this change?

    - It might embolden people to share more than they would normally. And that which could come back to bite them if not implemented correctly.
     
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  9. Induslady

    Induslady Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear All,
    We have dealt with this deletion issue a few times in the past. If you search the site, we have shared and discussed our policy on deletion on many posts. Providing the context again.

    In the early days of Indusladies, we did delete threads when people asked for it. We had a longer edit window which was completely misused. We learnt so many valuable lessons, that we need to define some non-negotiable policies and make it as part of the terms of service. Else, we realized the site won’t be viable at all.

    Indusladies is a community site that is intended for “all” Indian women around the world. We have to be guided by the overall benefit. The biggest value of Indusladies to women is the repository of discussions that have happened in the past. 90% of women don’t post their issues. They read what has already been posted and get a good handle of the potential solution set. Even those women who post, choose to post only after seeing the past discussions reflecting similar problems they have in hand. If we give members the automatic ability to delete their threads and posts, everyone would delete it after their problems have been discussed. In most cases, all the responses that members pour their heart and soul into is not just to help the OP, but also for the greater good of building a knowledge base to help all the women who come after them. By allowing members to delete threads, we would destroy the very support system we are trying to build.

    So after much deliberation with admins and moderators, we instituted this no-deletion policy more than 10-years ago! And every where possible, we tell that. FAQs tell people that. We repeatedly tell not to post anything personally identifiable. We even advice to choose anonymous usernames, those that don't reveal their personal identity.

    I know it is frustrating to hear. And I don’t expect you to fully understand either. But this is the only viable way to run this site.

    I am CLOSING this thread now, but will leave this thread in public view for a little while and will archive in 24-48 hours. Thank you!

    Note:
    To those posting private conversations in public threads, it is a very basic expectation that it is not meant to be done that way! This issue has also been dealt in the past. But is still repeated and we have learnt to move on by not engaging with those users any further.
     
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