Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lukywife, Apr 22, 2020.
expecting the thread will get closed soon
Thats the standard approach to "fix" a problem these days.
Lets close the thread and act like nothing ever happened.
I wont be surprised even a teeny tiny bit if all my responses, screenshots etc were deleted(read moderated ) and then the thread is closed.
Am actually thinking I'd get a message in the inbox with a screenshot of rules here.
Or I might be banned altogether !! - We'll know soon.
But do I care !! I spoke the truth and I am happy about it. IL is not my family that I should be worried about losing touch with.
I am forced to be nasty in order to inactivate my account, can you beat that!! - it has come to this after all the years of membership.
Is that what it takes ? Should I name the decoy employees then
Depends on the number of times you showed inappropriate behaviour via posts !!
I think I've overflown my quota in this single thread
Leading social media platforms like facebook and instagram allows deletions of posts and comments,the entire account itself, IL is way far behind is adapting to something called as "change" and "technology". Yeah this site cannot be compared to the billion users those social media platforms see but then I see no less users here where by allowing deletions of account all the users will vanish one day and the site will have zero members. Those who want to stay will stay and contribute
If someone wants to discontinue in the forum they should have an option.
The black box theory by admin in sbonigala's reply makes no sense to me.
The problem is that anonymous forums tend to attract a lot of weirdos who post inappropriately. It works only when there is very tight moderation or the site owner is prepared to accept content that might not please all users . I frequent one such forum and the moderator runs a very tight ship but it basically their full-time job.
This forum was originally started as one exclusively meant for Indian Ladies to share their views, problems and concerns. Our logo will tell you that it was what we had in mind. Naturally our rules had to be more stringent than other public fora.
Now that more and more men are coming in, we need to be lot more vigilant to protect our principal members. We do hope you will understand our position.
You always have the liberty of starting afresh with a new user name.
We want to keep this site very interactive while making this very safe too.
Then let's allow edit feature (note that small edit window becomes useless when the OP realises next morning she should not have posted about her SIL and MIL so directly last night!)
What qualifies a user to be a principal member Cheeniya sir ?
What about the others who are not principal members, who is going to protect them ? Or IL is all about that elite club called Principal Members?
We dont even alert the users not to use their actual names.
We dont even alert the users that they cannot delete the post once it is published.
Why cant we be transparent ?
That's not liberty. That's retaining the control and not leaving any other option to the user. I would even call this subjugation.
For example, my name is Vijaya. I use my home laptop to post on IL. I have tonnes of issues with my marriage. How hard is it for my H to find out what I posted here about my marriage?
What solution do you have for me if I want to delete my posts? How does choosing another name like Lakshmi save me from my husband seeing the posts made by Vijaya?
Not all women are smart enough to come up with fake names Sir.
Where is the emotional safety for those who posted about their problems without thinking much and now want to delete the post because they realised they gave away way too much info ?
Who are we kidding with this paragraph here?
I just dont understand what/whose safety are you talking about here.
All I can see is this website being full with tonnes of posts and heavy traffic in the forum and the monetary benefits this business model brings in.
I fail to understand what kind of safety is this, if a user is not even allowed to edit the post whenever they wish to !
If member safety is of any importance, this site would have provided basic features like edit windows, account deactivation, users decision to keep the post or delete it etc.
Or at least, you would have said "We understand the issue here, allow us to work on this - we shall make an announcement"
Whatever you may say , its a life at the other end. Its a family and that matters too.
Am really sorry to say that I am very disappointed to realise that you dont even consider this issue as a problem at all.
Other than the lame "create another account", do you have any solution at all ?
Totally agree ! I fail to see what safety of members has to do with not being able to delete accounts.
I am glad you brought up the not being able to edit post issues here. I don’t understand the rationale behind it.
The only reason our accounts and posts linger is to keep this site interesting.
Other than that I see no purpose.
Whatever “Vijaya” writes about her MIL is virtually engraved on IL stone.
The issue being highlighted here is some editing, deleting option if a user decides to do so. It definitely falls under your category of "being vigilant to protect the principal members" . I assume by principal members you mean the ladies of the forum. (you can clarify). By not giving freedom to someone to edit/recvoke their own post how are we protecting their interest ??
Some post and because they can't edit or revoke their post they just vanish from the site !!
To be honest I have myself thought to create an other username to post my problems here (at least 10 15 times in these 1.5 years span of being in this site) . But my honesty hasn't allowed me to do that so far. I skip posting that problem rather than creating a new user name each time .It's just not a viable option for me and I feel like I'm faking my identity !! It's cumbersome and waste of my time and I totally feel it's unethical to do that or keep doing that.
If at all you read suggestions in this thread a user suggested that we should be allowed to post anonymously. Even that is not an option going forward ?
This is not any counter argument against a moderator but suggestions to keep the site healthy and much more user friendly.